All Comments on 'The Neighbor's Kids'

This story can go so many ways and I look forward to see what you do with it. Thank you for writing it.

keep going...some fun possibilities with the neighbor lady.

Was a bit surprised by Chad's lack of shock that his girlfriend was sucking her brother's cock. Perhaps today's youth are that jaded though.

Another thing I noticed was some redundancies such as:

Chad and Lacey went into her own parents' house, who were both, of course, at work. Now indoors ...

I realize though that's minor and just a matter of how much you want to clean up details like that.

You've certainly painted a broad enough canvas that there's several directions the story can take. Perhaps Lacey will go to work on Chad's prude sister so the three of them can fuck. Have fun!

The story has some interesting complexity to it -- several characters from which you get a sense that more is happening and more will happen l. It seems like it's building to some interesting moments, plot-wise.

Where I think the story needs work is in the details. For Chad and Lacey to literally stumble onto Lenny while having sex, and for Chad to not freak out, was a little strange to read. As soon as that happened, I'm not sure how at least one of the three in that situation wouldn't be mortified. You explained that Lenny was horny from the night before, but beyond that, no one seemed to have a reaction.

This might be a personal gripe, but having both Chad and Lenny be such misogynistic assholes was really distracting. For example, Lenny referring to girls he's with as bitches, talking about how he'd take advantage of a vomiting girl who drank way too much, saying that "if Lacey weren't his sister, he'd treat her like any other bitch." All of those things present a really skewed and troubling outlook toward sex that just ends up being distracting and unsexy. You can be kinky and dirty without making the men out to be sexual predators who think of women as scum.

Chad seemed a bit too similar to Lenny personality-wise. I liked how you hinted at something between him and his own sister, but between his lack of reaction to the Lenny/Lacey incest, he felt too similar to Lenny.

Other than that, great potential for this series if you tone down the male characters and keep up the great work with the multi-angled plot.

Didnt think about Lacey messing with Chad's sis. That's a good addition

When I was going into my senior year my boyfriend, now husband, had just turned 19. Dunno why and don't care. It's a fact. I had just turned 17. Before you mouth off, don't base everyone else's life off your single existence. And no, he never repeated a grade. In fact, he was the valedictorian that year.

Don't even listen to the blowhards who remain anonymous without a story of their own to share. I remain unpublished but not anonymous. keep writing.