All Comments on 'The Neighbor's Pool'

Great pace, just enough guilt to show he's not a prick, and a woman who WANTS him..... next can they both enjoy the bike-riding niece??

Proof reading is essential.

No, no niece. How old is she if she's riding a bike? No car for the graduate? From a family with a pool? Money begets money, it's a family thing.

But the many, many glitches reduced it to a 3 star effort. An edit by someone that knows proper punctuation is extremely necessary! Just entirely too too sloppy.

Stories like this always seem very unsatisfactory to me. The eroticism is destroyed for this reader by the knowledge that someone's happiness is being seriously imperiled by two selfish people, one of whom has solemnly vowed to be faithful to her spouse. Their desires may have blinded them to the inhumanity of what they were doing but should the reader be similarly blind? The author should, at the very least, have given a reason why the husband deserved to be betrayed. Failure to mend the pool pump isn't nearly enough!

And they got away with it! How disappointing. I would have enjoyed the story far more if there had been a short final paragraph telling us that Jack had been found electrocuted in the pool (or suffered some lesser but extremely painful event) , everyone believed it was an accident but Bernie, looking at her husband's inscrutable expression, wondered...and feared...

I won't even get started on the editing, but I could-at length.

While the grammar and, occasionally, the pace of the story could both do with a bit of work, overall I really enjoyed it! The punctuation issues were merely noted, the pacing didn't detract very much really, hence my 4* rating.

The story itself is a plausible one, and enough hints were dropped about Mike's absence to not make their fun afternoon an issue to anyone other than a substantial prude! (Begging the question, why the fuck are you here, reading erotica?) As for the niece riding a bicycle (Or, indeed, Mike .. .. .. did you think of that, fella?) not only was that explained (missed that bit, did you?) some bikes can cost considerably more than a car!

Loved the story passion2share - hope to see more.

More than good enough. I wanted more. I was waiting for, thinking their post-coital bliss was about to be interrupted by the young Karissa who splashes into, then back out of the pool, naked, and then takes / makes Jack hard again...