All Comments on 'The New Neighbors'

but execution was bad. Once Kate had sex with one of the suspects the case was down the toilet.

However it was still an interesting story. Question is, how bad did Frannie get fucked in the divorce?

Just curious

HA

even the black weren't to bad in this one........ 4*'s

Is having sex considered entrapment in this case? The crime was salve trading. The sex was not part of the crime and is not illegal in itself. You could well be right (probably are) but I am curious how the law works here. If this was a prostitution sting I could understand that being entrapment. For the story itself, the idea was interesting, but needed a lot more work to make it into something more than cheap flash story. Still on some level worth reading.

So the money he paid to have his whore of a wife sold to slavers was just going to be ignored, so conspiracy to abet a kidnapping and hiring a contract killer is not illegal??????? I would think that divorce was the least of his worries about that time.

Not a very realistic tale. surely the husband would have been charged with some kind of trafficing crime for tryin to get her sold off. the slut would get everything in a divorce after he went to prison . SO SHE cheats and gets PAID to boot. not very well thought out plot but a great story idea. 3*,,keep tryin and watch out for the details,,that is what makes a great story

Tom called Nico that is entrapment. Don't know how that would play out. Just thought I would point it out. I gave this ****

That makes more sense - thanks. I was responding to a comment that said something like once Kate had sex charges would not stick. That one is not so clear to me.

the people making the comments and the author.

if the plot is sewn up nice and tight ... it was such a good twist I'll more than provide artistic license to the author!

Good job and thanks for the ready

I was disappointed at the use of the stereotype of black "thug". And, really, who brings a "thug" back to their home?

Thanks for the entertainment, keep the stories coming.

A bit too many holes for 'suspension of disbelief' but it WAS an engaging story. Without Dr. Hubby being charged, the 'sex slavery' trial loses umph!

Ass story thanks for sharing this crazy funny story. I am still shaking my head.

fuck and fuck him over with her BBC, what is she willing to do to him now? And "Kate"... is she worth dating? Isn't she technically a prostitute?

Like your other stories, this was a creative take on a standard LW formula. Like your other stories, it required a great deal of suspension of disbelief. However, I was annoyed with some things which made no sense. Hubby hired a guy to get rid of his cheating wife-law enforcement has him dead to rights on a criminal charge. Why is he let go? Why would Nico tell the hubbies his plans for the wives at the scene of the abduction? Why did the undercover couple wait so long to arrange the discovery of the affair (presumably the undercover she-cop wouldn't want to keep fucking the scum-bag for weeks/months if it was not necessary)? How was it that Nico was where the hubby's were when they got together? If his business was white slavery, why would Nico involve the husbands at all (okay, the money, but only $5000 per head, for a lot of potential legal exposure in the event a hubby went to the cops in a fit of regret and guilt)?

I get that the author was trying to spin an original yarn, using popular LW convensions and having some fun with them, and I give credit for the perplexing twist. I don't mind suspending disbelief (accepting that the wife would behave this selfishly disrespectfully and cruelly is a big suspension, and that she would then want to reconcile with hubby once the affair had run its course, and that she would think hubby would accept that, is an even bigger one), but I need some peg of reality on which to hang my hat, or else the story gets regulated to the 'cute, but forgettable' category.

I do hope for more submissions from the author, though, as his is an original voice.

I'd like to say "Bitches be crazy", but I'm not sure who was crazier - the wife who thought she could pull that shit on her husband or the husband who wanted to send her ass to a South American whore house. I would like to see an "alternate ending"

where the FBI wasn't involved, the neighbors were married and the two husbands DID sell their wives and have the black guys buried. Follow their demise, follow the wives lives in the whore house and then follow the guilt ridden husbands with all their assets.

YEE HAW!

The Monkey's had a great song didn't they?

It coulda, woulda, shoula been -if life were fair - the bitch would get what she deserved for doing and threatening to do what she did -

Nice idea and good execution - where are you??

Great story, great imagination and yet feasible.

Thank you and also great name "The End Begins"

The confusion over the name of his wife at the start got to me. How did Kate suddenly go from the neighbor's wife to his then back again?

Other than that it was a pretty good story. Would have been better if the cheating slut of a wife had been punished though.

Seriously, what the gross.

Man there was a lot of shit packed into one page

I think you threw every cliche there was into the story

Confused the fuck outta me. had to read it 3 times before I caught it all while laughing.

Well done, a great laugh.

No, this story is not at all believe, but it sure is original.

I don't know if Jerry would get arrested, given he got talk into calling Nico by Tom himself - now, that's entrapment. Also, Kate sleeping with Montell is in this legal grey zone that may not affect the whole case, given the FBI couldn't get to Nico without getting a 'housewife' inside the whole thing.

But hey - even the author made it pretty clear to not take this whole thing seriously. So, you know what - I won't. For what it tried to say about marriage and the one-sidedness of divorce, it's a good story.

He hired a man to kidnap his wife and sell her off to a whore house. So why wasn't he arrested?

And go through that trouble when he could have easily ruin her career with the knowledge of her fucking around with who knows who taking a disease to her clients. She was a Gyno was she not?

Even for fiction there were too many holes needing plugged.

Ok story in the beginning. but very weak as far the completion. Need to have in the way of a conclusion. Also keeping the it region respective would be a start. No way does a man from south of the mason dixon line react this way. I can't speak for all but everyone that I know from these areas would have reacted very differently in this situation. Lets just say the working overseas would have seemed like a vacation for them. 3 stars based on the beginning of the story only.

Good plot.

Too good to be in a short story.

I'm not judging ths story

for letting a slut gain from her actions.

Even though I'm very much agains that.

It's the shortness of the story that only gets

4 out of 5 from me.

3 stars

Not punishment enough for Nico and black guys

Accidentally crush balls and butterfly dicks

I liked it better when the wives were being sold.and the boys were going to the plantation. My take on your parody.

FBI as well and get the fake couple a lot of publivity on how they assisted in screwing up your marriage

Always talking people into selling their wives and shit. If I had a nickel...

He still needs to divorce the wife, but a fun twist.

Enjoyed the hell outta this short story! 5 stars.

Stupid as fuck.

And then hubbie went to prison for trying to sell his wife to Nico. Dumb story.

Went from a black mans fantasy to cheated husband fantasy.

Shit story all around.

Need the toilet paper for this.

DOL

selling the wife would be a proper punishment, due to society's amoral outlook on cheating to day

Actually not a bad story line but it should have been so much more. 3 stars for good effort

Bof!

I'm not sure why the narrator wasn't also arrested. He was participating in what he thought was the elimination of his wife.

A decent idea poorly executed.

You have interesting plot ideas but need to clean up the details.

An FBI officer would not be fucking for an operation. Well, the current FBI would probably do anything but you know...

The MC was a conspirator in the crime of Human Trafficking. His new address would be a United States Penitentiary.