All Comments on 'The New Pastor Ch. 02'

Your writing has promise, but still needs LOTS of editing and rewriting...just like a REAL WRITER. Your ignoring our not so subtle suggestions is indicative of your lack of education, and thus your own ignorance.

This Story has a lot of promise, and you are off to a pretty good beginning. I do think you need to slow it down a little, and pay more attention to the moral conflict that is sure to ensue from this relationship, especially considering the people involved. The concept is intrigueing, and I will be following closely. As an aside, it is okay to offer constructive criticism, but insults about a persons educattional level are not needed, especially when one is not knowledgeable about that.

I like this story as it goes so far, except for the portrait you paint of the pastor when you have her convince herself that consensual sex between two women is alright, unless you are creating her as a ditzy blonde airhead. In that case, I would go even further overboard and make her a bit more ditzier.

What I mean is that no pastor worth his or her salt would have reached the position of head of her own church without realizing that 1Cor.6:9,10, among many other scriptures, tells how God abhors all men who lie with men (in turn, women who lie with women) and says they will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

I am not preaching here, because I love these Literotica stories too much to even dare to, but to have a pastor or even another high-ranking church official who seems not to be aware of these scriptures seems foolish. A better storyline would be of one who did know them and yet was seduced from her beliefs despite her knowledge of them anyway. Or at least to have someone who says something like, "Well, there are those lines from the bible, but, ahh, fuck 'em!", because they weren't really true Christians - you know, like those Catholic Priests you hear about all the time who molest kids.

That's all. Otherwise, as I said, so far the story is nicely written and on track.

I suggest that Debbie divorces her husband and after Lisa's proposal she becomes her wife.

If and when you see offensive comments such as the one about The New Pastor Ch 02 displayed below, please do everyone a favor. Click on the Report icon and ask the moderators to remove it. Crap like this is why I no longer submit stories to Literotica.