by destodes777
I will of course finish this story (Though technically that has been done already but this is a rewrite). Only one chapter left though.
I've read all 7 so far ..loved them waiting for more !!!!
Like the story but the writing is getting worse. You calling the redhead “Myself” several times. I understand you have story in your head and it’s easy to skip ahead when letting it out. You think a sentence and believe you wrote it already. If you write more find a friend to proof read. I think more people on here want a good story instead of jerk material. All that said it is a good story. Thanks
This is like one big pile of swirling crap all jumbled together with no point in mind. On second he on rescue mission then he’s fucking then he eating a human then he feeling bad then he running then he fucking then he on rescue then he looking at lights then fucking. On and on and on. Slow it down and direct the story with a flow. I wasn’t saying the story is crap before you get twisted. Things jumble so much it needs little better flow.