All Comments on 'The Nuclear Family Pt. 01'

Very nicely done. Will enjoy reading the other parts when they come out!

Hate to agree with any views of Harryin VA, but like him, I've read this story before.

So, you've either submitted this before or it's plagiarism.

I love what other2other1 does with the genre's tropes. He always adds very satisfying spins... sometimes in ways that are what many of us really want to see happen in these stories.

I'd love for a faster release schedule but that's a minor quibble for some good free reading! Thanks!!!

I know what it's like to be thrown away by blood relatives

Loved it, you have well and truly nailed this genre of story. Top entertainment, although some of the conversations were overly long and complicated. People talk in a freer way than what you write. But that’s ok, you will work that out in time.

I still score you at 5/5, just a shame you are spinning out the chapters publication way longer than what you need to do. But hey, it’s your work.

Well done!

DAMN, YOU'RE GOOD!! I'm with you and Mr. Other, taking another ride ."Double or Nothing's hero strike's again. 7 stars, the Bear approves. Love your long stories, it makes me allocate my time better. And as the Boss says, "Keeps me off the streets and out of trouble." Looking forward to the next one.

The BEAR

A very good start. I’ve never written a story on this site I’m only a reader. But I find it hard to imagine that it’s possible for every BTB story to be 100% different from every other BTB story.

My only gripe is one section of four every week. That’s cruel to your readers. I guess you don’t want to have the story finished in four days But four weeks is excessive.

I like it so far. Except the "hot sister that always had a crush" trope is just tired. I was hoping you weren't going there, but you did. Otherwise nice.

Loving this story. Thank you.

For those whining that the story is a repeat: so is EVERY story that starts out with dude coming home to car in driveway, or dude finding a condominium wrapper in wife’s purse, or dude overhearing a conversation about wife having an affair 😱

.

This first chapter is the discovery. There are 3 more chapters coming. Odds are that the author will now take this story with a repeated premise in another direct as our hero goes off with Amy.

.

Take a chill pill folks!

Why, for the love of GOD would you wait A WEEK to post chapter updates? You've got a good story started, but then delay, enough time for people to forget your submission. The time of the weekly serial is LONG DEAD.

Disappointing 😞 Four stars for the story MINUS 2 for teasing up along.

and I'll put my name on that comment.

so far so good

can not wait for part 2

An entertaining story that, for me, is a bit too overpowering in some places. Why does he have to write another cheesy letter when he leaves his cheating wife? Or why is he still talking to his sister when she is inappropriately gaining access to his friends' apartment? Or why is he still talking to his ex in the police station? For me, these are superfluous fillers that make the story tedious. In my opinion, the dynamic is a bit lost! 4*!!!

Sir I have read all of your stories and like them a lot! The way you develop the plot is well thought out in my estimation. I am looking forward to reading the rest of this story. Keep up the great work!

I've never been to Australia, so I don't know if these are things.

1) What's the obsession with, "marital bed"? Is this a special bed with magical powers? Why is it constantly referenced? Would the hero have said, "oh, three year affair with my brother who impregnated you, complete disrespect by the family, but it wasn't in the marital bed, so it's okay"?

2) Page three, What was the point of Joanna bringing Amy with her? Amy knew nothing of the affair and had actually been told lies about the 'seperation' which was, at that point, "almost seven months into the divorce". At this point he still doesn't have a job or a place to stay. Why bring Amy over to help with a confrontation seven months after the fact (and four months after the baby was born) when she has no idea what was going on?

3) On tonight's police blotter news: Nationally ranked mixed martial artist, three dan blackbelt with four years training in Muay Thai, attacks unarmed and non-aggressive man in shopping mall, knocking him unconscious and sending him to the hospital with a mild concussion, bruised ribs, and a sprained neck. No charges were filed by the police, who evidently had a hard time maintaining a serious composure during the arrest, and who later apologized to the man for having to take him into custody. Upon arriving at the station, he was allowed to make personal calls on his cel and was given drinks and biscuits.

Is this the way Aussie police treat criminals?

4) Curiosity: How did Georgia list Robbie on the birth certificate for little "Brad Jr., the second" and not raise suspicions with ANYBODY not in on the secret?

5) Long stories broken into bite size chunks is good. Week delays are not.

Good start, but he says the same things over and over and over…it got really redundant. The cliche of the youngest sister just waiting to snap him up felt really contrived…too easy.

Some stupid parts including finding them in bed and even have the brother threaten him and he does nothing. Then the absurd argument with his sister at his friend's house. She should have been thrown out ASAP and not allowed that silly dialog and rant.

So far this is very similar to some other stories on this sight, of a brother betrayed and a family backing the other brother. Eager to see where you take this that is different.

Good beginning!

5

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with next!!!

You have me hooked, now it is time to reel me in and land me.

Thanks for the first part of what did you say 6 parts. :)

This sounds almost identical to a previous story written a while back. Same betraying family members (mom, dad, sister, older brother) and he ends up with his exes younger sister. Why not write something original and not a copycat story???

Average start. Facts are overstated and now awaiting the rain of fire on them

Really similar to Betrayed by Soul 71

Oh hell! Wish i had waited for you to finish before i read it. I have a dozen or more stories by different authers so l get confused .

There were a couple of places where the word cunt should replace pussy. IMO, it’s a better fit for the emotions of the moment.

There is a lot of repetition here—especially given the constant confrontations with his family…. Does it actually have to be 80+ thousand words?

This is almost an exact ripoff of a previous story on this site. Even the names are the same. And I agree with most of the other comments on this story…if it’s complete, post the entire damn story. By releasing this in four installments, a week apart, readers either lose momentum in their interest or don’t remember the story’s title and don’t continue with it.

Brain dead, that's what happens when wives get hit with the martian slut ray. For this poor guy it hit the whole fam damily!!! Goos tory. You need a proof reader there are couple small words that didn't fit.

Man, it's a good thing Amy was there to pick up up the pieces of Robbie and give him a future. I think it would've been a little more believable if she wasn't a member of the family and was instead someone outside of it. Like a ring girl from one of Robbie's fights.

As for Robbie's family, are they all insane? To continue to act as they are despite everything that happened can only be possible due to insanity. Or are they secretly a devil worshipping cult? lol

I hope that the family's justifications or even perhaps realizations of who they are and what they've done are revealed in a future chapter. I'm sure all the bitches in the family will be burned but I want to see them realize that they were evil and in the wrong and/or attempt to justify it.

Hey everyone,

Thank you so much for the initial feedback, First up, I am very aware there are a few stories in this category along similar lines. If I was to pick one that I took the major influence from, it would be GTO’s “The Middle Child”. I love that story and the whole line of one of the family being singled out and screwed over by the family was the main influence one why I wanted to write this one. Any other plot points that are similar in BTF stories are not on purpose. If you can’t enjoy the story because of that, its okay with me.

A couple of people have also commented on my release schedule. I am not going to release all four parts at once, I liken it to the old days when we used to have to wait a week between episodes on TV. If you don’t want to read the story before all four parts are out, your welcome to wait. So Sunday each week is when each part will come out :)

And yes, this story does not take place in reality, its a world that I made up. It’s all over dramatic, emotional and trust me, there is a lot more emotion to come in the next four parts.

Like it or don’t like it, thats cool with me.

Cheers

John Other

A week between posts? I’ll forget the title and characters names

Enjoying the story - I worked in a family business and was in a similar role as the MC. If my brother and parents had pulled that shit with me, I'd do everything Robbie did and more. There have been some similar ones on the site and I preferred their solution of the wronged brother going into competition against his family. We'll see - 5*

My only complaint is that the writer has indicated a one week interval between submitting each part. If the story is truly completed I don't understand the reason for giving us time to forget the details of the earlier parts.

Sweet!

To be honest I stopped reading at paragraph 3 where you said you had the story written but were going to post in weekly increments. I'll wait until another chapter or 2 to begin. I hate reading part of a story and then have to go back to reread it to remember what happened. It would be a different issue entirely if it was a work in progress and you got busy during writing.

I like your stories. You do a good job of drawing the reader in, making him

feel the pain the MC feels.

I also get that you don’t wanna release the whole thing at once because some people will just take a pass on the story. But a week? That is too long—at least for those of us who read several hours a day, every single day. A week means the reader has to go back and reread the previous one, or at least the last couple pages to try to remember the characters and what happened last. I also believe if you look at the number of views you’ll find an huge number of readers never come back after viewing part 1. You would be much better off to wait no more than two days between each part. Just sayin’

I appreciate you telling the reader how long the story is right at the start. This is novel length, which I am not prepared to commit to.

Great writing! Thank you 5 stars. I liked the kick of the X brother! LOL what story of heartbreak and betrayal. Not just by the wife but by the whole family. I can identify.

Excellent story! I knew it would be. Thank you! 5 BIG FAT BLAZING STARS!

Fantastic! I really enjoyed this first part. I get the high emotions, but he’d have done better to wait overnight to quit. He could have gone to the office for one hour that night, cancel the last order, and leave his written resignation on his desk - with keys to the Ute, laptop, and a copy of the video playing as a screensaver.

Was really enjoying this then it all went to crap. Why isn't he destroying them? Because the other stories didn't.

This is pretty much a carbon copy of all the others. Or is it another story where he's destroyed by all family members and he takes the high road?

Wish a writer would have a set of balls and do the normal, human thing and fuck them all up. But I'm guessing that's asking for to much on this site. I've given you a 3*

Well far too many repeats of the same sentence, we get it she had a dick in her arse but really! And if the parts are written publish or lose most of us you are not that good a writer. Even with the enjoyable yarn so far.

Look forward to reqding more chapters. Keep up the great works!!!!

wow mate, you are knocking it out of the park again, as a fellow aussie I love reading your stories and I can often picture the locations you describe. This one is no different. Ignore the trolls you are one of the better authors here and it's not because you get everything right, it's because you lead us in the story. I could feel the pain as Robbie stood there at his parent's place. I cheered when he knocked the lights out of his prick of an older brother. I am so looking forward to chapter 2 next week...

For the guys saying post it all at once, let the guy choose when to post. He's written the story, if you choose not to read it because he's following a schedule, your loss. There has been so much cuck shit posted in LW over the past few months, this story is like a breath of fresh air.

If feel like I'm a teenager again, waiting a week for the next episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, setting my VHS ready to record. Anticipation is a good thing, you're doing well.

Also to the comment below, I think the story with 'Kate' was "Betrayed" by Soul71. Another great LW story that could have been a BTF, but wasn't. The MC in that story was also Robbie. Perhaps Mr Other was channelling his inner soul71. I can see some similar themes, however I can also see this story will run a different path.

Looking forward to next week for Part II mate, keep it coming

I get why these are popular, you all want to self insert as a bad ass dude. Lmao

I'm sorry but this story is some cringe shit for weak men to self insert into someone who is an actual bad ass. Its so over the top and nonsensical. You say it's a long story but most of the story was essentially worthless.

This is less of an erotic story and more of a revenge tale. The only thing that turns me on is knowing the high ratings come from a bunch of failed men.

Good start.

Gotta say: quite puzzled by how the Others reacted to Robbie's discovery. I mean, those degenerates truly found a new level to describe 'delusional'. I may kinda understand how the women acted (apologies to the ladies reading this comment, but you all know how some members of your gender can be sometimes quite... 'mentally disconnected'); I can even see how a humongous asshole like Brad Jr. could muster the hubris to think any man, let alone his brother, should get over his actions; but, when it comes to the older Brad... zero logic. This is not how a father acts towards any of his kids... UNLESS, of course, Robert is not his kid, which is really what we're all expecting here, although it's just as bizarre that, if it is the case, he still hasn't thrown such information at 'his' youngest child's face yet.

Hopefully, we're going to eventually get some explanations for his action. I also do not see why this story would need four chapters - sure, the Other family hasn't actually been burned yet, but I'm expecting this to truly go down in the next chapter and get this all concluded in the third one... A fourth one seems excessive, but, then again, the author does have a tendency to repeat himself from time to time - his editing team must do a better job preventing him from doing so too often.

All this to say: I'm in. Let's see where this is all going. Doesn't at all seems like we're going to be treated to some horrendous RAAC (thank the Good Lord!), so I'll for sure check it out next week.

You really should have stuck to your original plan and kept the story to 20K words. Then you could have had paired the 20K words to about 10,000 and had a coherent story. You waste thousands of words on mundane and/or repetitive dialogue that is insulting to the intelligence of most readers. You really are a good writer. I hope someday you learn the concept of less is more.

Bravo!! I look forward to the rest of the saga. a well-deserved 5. thank you

Good first chapter. I like this because I feel that for all these "loving family" style stories this makes the most sense. Its not the entire family screwing except the poor MC, its the wife and golden brother cheating with each other and the family covering it up not for malice or lust but for pure self interest. They are not all boinking, just happy to screw over the brother/son to keep the golden boy happy and the money train rolling. 5 stars.

Rather see O2O1 release a chapter every 'OTHER DAY' than over a whole month.

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Will be interesting how the story develops to create 4 parts it must have some serious twists. The Amy mystery can be fun as it is obvious she is his next wife. Just don't go wacko like GTO did; GTO had a good story until he went into the S&M crap for revenge and throwing his nieces/nephews into a shit life to get revenge.

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Since Robbie is SOOOooo pivotal to the success of 'Total Build' let it implode in failed quality; but that would create a very short story.

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Aussy's {down under}, doesn't their Court require the husband/wife to physically live in separate domiciles for +12months before the divorce can be adjudicated?

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4****, Hooyah...

I can underappreciated breaking up chapters to blunt that feeling of reading an unending slog but a week? Why? For what purpose? Your story is done. Is this some sort of game?

This is actually more like "Betrayed" by Soul71

Do you ever get in trouble for stealing other people's stories? And rather than making them original or improving them you just shit the bed as usual? And funnily enough your writing is getting worse because this one was just painful and that's with me skimming it!

Uhmm.. This looks far too similar to the "GTO_Racer" story "The Middle Child". I hope your follow up chapters divert from his work....

I'm not even bothering to read this. When the series is complete, if I stumble across it in my readings, I might partake. No way do I want to wait a week for each installment, losing trains of plot along the way, etc. Not for me.

I usually enjoy reading your stories. However, like most writers I read I do not usually give ⭐⭐⭐⭐ or ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ to a story. ⭐⭐⭐ is a good story and most are just that good stories.

I do hope the the remaining part's (Pt) of this one are just as good as this Pt 01.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Good job. Looking forward to next chapter.

After kicking Brad jr in the head, Robert should have kicked another ex-family member or soon to be ex-wife, who ever was closest, as well. The “no reason to ever hit a woman” is crap, lots of reasons to hit Hattie, Georgia, and Johanna. Woman scream for equality but want to pick and choose which things to be equal and which to keep the advantages of being female. If they really want true equality, they can take a punch or in this case a kick to head just like a man for their acts of betrayal.

Opinions are like assholes, every one has one. Good start. Hopefully the rest will be as good.

Are you hoping that by posting a week apart that the readers on this site are going to forget how long winded and repeatitive you are? You show contempt and do nothing but insult readers on this site. 1* won't be finishing this.

This story sounds very familiar 🤔 😕

An anonymous poster said it sounds familiar.....

That's because this is a carbon copy of Soul71 story Betrayed.

You even used the same names for the brother,,,, Robbie and Brad. Each story has a sister (Janet and Joanna) Each story has a wife's sister (Kate and Amy). Each story has parents who support the cheating brother. Each story has a business that suffers at the loss of Robbie.

I doubt very much that you used much of your own imagination to create this story. I won't use the P... word but you are certainly nudging that border.

Great story, looking for the next release.

I gave you a 4 stars. Its a great start and will have to wait for the other parts. (hope their as great as the first one)

Zeb

From the comments I've read the consensus is that this is a winner. Having the younger sister go after Robbie is a bit much but it is your story. I'm wondering if Robbie is going to create his own small house business after buying out the one about to go bankrupt.

What is the punishment for plagiarism on Literotica?

This story sounds strangely familiar, the only difference being the one I recall reading here before takes place in the USA. I could be wrong, but ….

keep it up, always an enjoyable time reading your work.

This story needs all parts published as soon as possible,so it is rembered.Published over several weeks means the begining is forgotten easily.

Great!

I was expecting since a long to read this story with POV of my selective favourite writers other2other1, Vandemonium1, blackrandi, saddletramp1956, RG and FTDS

This story have a lot of potentials and i believe you will do the justice with the original storyline as shown in... The middle child and Betrayal

Theres no drama in this drama. the family is like clinically delusional. its just like a long repeat of the same argument... I geniunely don't see how you can milk this for 3 more chapters. I guess you could make the baby his and then thats 18 years of him having the same conversation with his ex

In some sort of weird coincidence, I read this just hours after reading Betrayed by soul71.

This was very confusing to me until I figured out that it was 2 different stories (or was it?)

You may go somewhere else with this eventually, but this this is way too close to be anything but plagiarism. You should have acknowledged that up front.

Excellent story worthy of 5 BIG FAT STARS!

Hope he tears them down and then buys the company out from under them.

Nice! ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Oops! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

after finding out why was that convo with his parent so long? after the 3 or so exchanges there was nothing else to say or talk about.

Thank you, everyone, for your comments over the past few days, as always I appreciate constructive comments, insults are generally ignored (most of the time I just leave them there).

For those of you who noted 'The Middle Child' by GTO - yes that was the inspiration for writing this story, I've read it multiple times, and my burn is going to go in a different direction.

For those of you who noted 'Betrayed' by soul71, I'll be honest, I had an OMG moment when I went back and read that story after your comments. I know I read it when it was published back in 2020 and between the scenes and characters, I did not understand I was unconsciously channelling elements of that tale. Overall this is going to go in a very different direction from that story.

Realizing, I have messaged soul71 and given credit to both GTO and soul71 in part two, check out the links in my intro if you want to read their stories. For those of you who appear to be mortally offended, feel free to unfollow me. Ultimately, I write the stories for me, if you like them great, if you don't that's also fine. But if you do see things that need credit elsewhere, message me directly, I will always give credit where it's due.

Lastly, as per my schedule, I have submitted part II for publishing, all going well it should be out mid-week. Again if you are offended that I am waiting a week between each part, I'm okay with that. I noticed that one commentator said they liked my stories but didn't want to wait so they were going to stop following me. Believe it or not, I really appreciate the comment, but it's not changing my publishing schedule for this series, why? mainly because while everything is written, I am doing a final read-through and last-minute tweaks on Saturday arvos (which is my only free time at the moment). I am always nervous about my spelling and grammar, so I want to do the best I can. Again if that causes you not to like my stories its all good.

Thanks all

John Other

Despite it being familiar to the other stories you've already mentioned it is still a very well put together First Chapter. Am looking forward to reading the rest, and hoping it is a good or better than your previous series Double or Nothing!

Cheers!

Looking at movies that repeat basic plot lines just shows hard it is to come up with something that has not been done before. Look a Greek stories the are rewritten for modern times. The other two writers have created many great works. Like taking parts of previous works over the centuries and creating something new. When you credit the other works that gave you inspiration please add the URL link so your reader can quickly enjoy then in addition to you story. I know how hard it is for me to write just technical information for work. I am very grateful for the high quality of the stories that you have been providing us for free. THANK YOU!!! 5 STARS!

Sorry, I enjoy your stories but this is far too similar to @OlympusMon90's, Hey Joe. I can only hope you quickly deviate from that story's plotline.

He needs to take over the business and make his estranged family to be under his control. Including his mother, mother-in-law and sister. Maybe even his ex-wife. Amy would be at his side through it all.

I want see the total destruction of company in the next part.

I'm hoping not to wait to long for part II. To see his family crash and burn

Hi John,

Thanks for sharing I enjoy reading these BTB tales they are invigorating for those who have been burnt by the bitch because the law allows it. They allow us to wallow in the if only for a while! Nice to see this time a family being brought to heel as most of the time its families that cause bitches to become even more manipulative and creative in ways to shaft the hapless goons like us who once believed in the sanctity of marriage and that love trust truth and honour would be reciprocated. I don't see what people are bitching about on the plot lines they all will follow mainly the same lines i.e. the man/woman is wronged by an affair/being cucked or publicly humiliated they seek answers and are trashed, scorned, or screwed over by a divorce. The seek revenge by either being or knowing an ex special ops type, computer whizz kid or a key-man in the wrong doers business, after copious damage to the errant wife/husband's persona, their business, their reputation and or body parts; they meet Ms/Mr wonderful and go on to an adoring relationship. The end. There is not much to plagiarise it's all been done in various guises before. but they are still fun and this one was great as it screwed over a whole swathe of odious twats in the process. AND they are still nice bits of suspend true life for a while escapism. A bit like the old Western pulp books so 5 stars

The story is fine. Maybe in Australia the meaning releasing the already written part 2 last Sunday and today a Monday is confusing. That must mean the already written parts 3 and 4 to be released on consecutive Sundays is just a faint possibility.

AWESOME cant wait for the next part. Kno ir hard work is enjoyrd n appreciated. Thanks

So you make this point about how the whole story is finished and that you feel it necessary to dole out the following chapters each Sunday for the next few weeks......WELL, IT'S FUCKING TUESDAY SO WHERE THE FUCK IS IT? Changing my vote to 1 because you can't even live up to your own word. You liked to compare the wait time to old-time TV when people actually waited from week to week for their shows...the big difference of course is that THE FUCKING SHOWS SHOWED UP WHEN THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO. So instead of giving the readers your pretentious bullshit reason for keeping them waiting why don't you just fucking publish what you said is already written

Don't sweat the comments. Just keep publishing. I have read your stuff, I feel it will be worth it. I've been down that 'backlog' road before. Waiting, patiently, but on pins and needles.

The BEAR

So where is part 2? You can't even stick you your word! Every Sunday?! It's now WEDNESDAY! and no part 2!

@maedhros21. The story is late, probably due to the likely rewrite he has to do. He just realized, two days ago as of this comment, that his tale has more than a passing resemblance to two other published stories on here.

He has a big job ahead of him to avoid accusations of plagiarism. He may have decided to abandon the attempt completely.

Shame really if he does

Grant

I liked the story, but it certainly wasn't what I expected, at all. In fact, except for a few naughty words and the descriptive text around the betrayal scene (which was pretty damn tame for this place), I have to say this could be published elsewhere, on a 'regular' site. Hell, I've listened to YouTube videos with people reading betrayal Reddits that were spicier than this. Still, if you do post another part, I'll be reading that as well. Its not porn, but its a nice little tale. Cheers

maedhros21 it takes 3 days after it uploaded to be published

loved the story thus far...and am anxiously awaiting the next chapter

Yes it’s not on the listings but a complement to your story if people like me are complaining because we can’t get pt 2 as promised.

So its now a week and a half since this was published. So much for a weekly release. Like I said earlier you should post all the parts now or at very least one a day. I liked your story but with so many stories being published its hard to remember what yours is about without having to go back and read it again and that is a pain with so many others to read.

I like it but too much dialog, or in his case monolog.

@Timcutyourshit

Yeah, so what...The author should have taken that into account when he mentioned Sundays. Time to stop making excuses for people who can't live up to their word.