All Comments on 'The Object of My Obsession'

This is one amazing story, and for the first posted story its totally amazing, i surely hope you will continue to write!!!!!! GOOD WORK

Been there,done that & what a wonderful piece of writing depicting a blow by blow reminiscence!

Only regret is a lack of the next story's appearance date ?

When he was handing her the wine and noticed the rings on her finger, did he happen to notice the one on his own finger? When he was thinking how she would be affected by their adultery, did he happen to think about his own feelings or spare a second to think of his wife. At no point in the story, did he state that he and his wife had an open marriage.

There is a lot of outrage on this site for cheating wife stories, why not for cheating husbands?

Sherlock40 may be a Literotica member, but he has not written any stories. So who is he to criticise an author who has at least put pen to paper - a difficult exercise for a first submission. Well done, and well written, Joseph King. Is there another room she needs decorating? I am a dab hand with paste and I'd really like to meet her.

Well, skip.69, I HAVE written stories here, and Sherlock40 is right. The author provides not the slightest context for the male character's adultery in terms of his own marriage. Are he and his wife having problems? Is she denying him in the bedroom? If not, how does this straying not have any impact on his conscience, especially afterwards?

The difference between textual porn and true storytelling is that in the latter there's a "morning after." Actions have consequences. Now if all you're looking for is titillation, then Mr. King's submission is more than adequate. But if you're looking for a quality *story*, I'm afraid it falls quite a ways short.

My advice to Mr. King is to develop these themes in the sequal. Or throw in a swerve, like Melissa getting pregnant from their tryst. Create some dramatic tension that will keep the reader's hand at least as busy clicking down the page as it is jerking off.

Keep going with this....it is good!

Hi,

I enjoyed this story. I thought it was well written and was hot. As for the negative feedback...isn't this site for fantasy? Does I writer need to add guilt to a story when he is fantasizing about cheating rather then actually doing it? I say just sit back, relax and enjoy the stories for what they are...stories.

Thanks for your contribution.

Keep at it; don't get discouraged by some of the comments. Flesh out your characters a bit more as well as your environment. It helps us to identify with characters if we know more about them. Writing is rewriting and practice. On the same story I've gotten "far too long" and "you should have given us more" in successive emails. To thine own self be true.

Check out some of my stories (noting both the mistakes I have made and the positive aspects of them). Fin's "Touching Eileen" is also a recent submission that is positively top notch. But I do agree with the distinction made between erotica and porn; erotica casts sex in a context (realistic or not), porn makes little or no effort to do this. You'll find a lot of both on this site.

Your writing is good, and unlike some other writers on this site, you watch your spelling, punctuation and grammar, all very cool.

And I appreciate the way you tried to keep it from being poring and predictable by using words not too commonly used, but, well, 'fuck-hole' is just not sexy!

I also agree with the issue about him not feeling guilty about him being unfaithful. It didn't even occur to him... not very realistic.

Like someone else said, very well done for a first story, but more development would be good... some of us want to hear a story and not just a fuck fest.

Very nice write!

I think you told the story well and don't need to add anything more to it.

Hope to read more from you soon.

A very well written story and realistic too. I've suffered those pangs of guilt, as have more than will admit it, but that little blind worm keeps taking us back.

Bring us a few more such stories and don't get talked into believing that it has to be a dozen chapters.