All Comments on 'The Palace Pt. 01'

But I'm curious enough to want more of it.

And intrigued, do go on..

There's enough questions in this to make me read the next chapter to see what happens.

That's a fantastic start! Very vividly painting a picture of your fantasy empire. More Yasina required!

Some of these comments are so bland I just don't get it... this is a fantastic start to a very intriguing world... the background story of his family, the visit to get his father's medicine... all the details... Wow!

Terrific writing - great world building, excellent imagery and dialogue. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for posting!

Carrach has to know he's very likely to die soon. No doubt it'd ruin this story (or turn it into a very different one), but he should be looking to escape or at least assassinate Yasina. Because of his willingness to go along with it I find it hard to empathize with Carrach so I have little interest in what happens to him.

The first two chapters left me feeling like the whole story would be Carrach blundering thru and getting used, in bed and out, by the disgusting skank Yasina. The story is probably more than that, but if Carrach doesn't grow a backbone very early on I'd be hoping he dies instead of survives.

The emperor is an idiot too. Once he became ill he should have had all but a chosen successor executed along with their mothers. Allowing them to fight it out after his death is a lousy way to run a country.

I'm not sure sure why people believe they have the right to tell you how Your story should go!

I'm looking forward to reading all your stories!

Dude, you need to see a shrink. Seriously.

I love this story!!

You created lots of intrigue and mystery with this story with how Yasina noticed Carruch, whom you then tied to be Yasina's son's double. However, I don't get Yasina's interest in him through the interview and in doing what she did while her son attended tutoring. I will read more to see where this goes, but it's certainly one of your more mysterious offings. 5