All Comments on 'The Passing Ch. 01'

Thank you for sharing. I look forward to the next chapter

Good start.. a few mistakes creating a bit of confusion.. but pretty good on the whole... Just hope wherever you take us in this tale.... you finish the journey. Too many unfinished writings here.

This got my penis going. I am ready for more.

Very interesting so far and quite different. I look forward to the next chapters.

About your editing comment, I've found very few stories on this site written better than this, and don't even look at them if not rated 4.5 or better.

Loved the concept. Very original. I love you whole animal/alpha role. Can't wait till he gives Tara a spanking and claims her and a bunch of others. Also Angela. Keep it up will be on the look out for chapters!!!!!

It's a bit off-putting when the first sentence has a mistake. It's "INdescribable", not "UNdescribable." There's lots and lots of commas that should be periods, typos and some very awkward phrasing, i.e., "... a gentleness that felt unbelonging to someone I considered my captor given present situations." Might be better as something like, "a gentleness that seemed odd coming from someone I considered to be my captor."

It's an interesting concept though.