All Comments on 'The Patron and the Saint'

I just re-read this story and it just keeps growing on me. This is definitely one that will stay on my favourites list.

The interplay between the two main characters is brilliant and their willing sub-toy adds even more to the reading pleasure. If ever there was a story that merits a continuation, this is it. Perhaps the Xyla/sculptor hookup hinted at in the end, or perhaps Xyla has a roommate who can be brought into the circle. Or maybe another game weekend altogether; who's the winner this time 'round and what can they get up to?

The idea of a wizard's duel between two mind controllers is a good one, and the duel itself, especially given the different powers and weaknesses of the two combatants, was well told and interesting.

I find the misogynistic streak that pervades your writing quite off-putting, however. Here you have the blonde girl, the girl out clubbing, the college girl, and elsewhere the cow women on the space station and the poor princess, all women who are at best treated as objects and then given a post-hypnotic suggestion to make them forget what was done to them, and at worst have their gratuitous abuse described in such detail that it seems you must be getting off on it.

Ultimately, the two main characters here don't seem to have any real human depth and are hard to care about. Basically, they can get whatever they want by using their powers. They are supposed to be these figures of good: a patron of the arts, an eco saint. But how do they use their powers? To abuse innocent girls. Their view of sex? Available holes and quarts of semen, just like the characters of so many sophomoric stories on this site.

You are a talented writer and know how to tell a story. I haven't read all of your stories, but I wish that more of them dealt with real people instead of comic-book caricatures.

is it weird that I often don't feel compelled to respond to positive comments, but almost always respond to negative (or quasi-negative) ones?

so, in the interest of fairness: thor_pf, thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was one of the first things I wrote, and I have no plans to continue it, but I'm pleased you liked it.

Second, Anonymous:

there is a large amount of erotic mind control writing that deals with willing subjects, even subjects that seek the mind controller out. mind control can be erotic by itself, as can seduction, in the absence of sex. if i wrote these stories commercially, that would almost certainly be the audience i would write to, because my suspicion is they'd sell better than simple wank stories like TP&TS. If those are the types of stories you enjoy, I suggest googling 'erotic mind control story archive'. I recommend starting your reading with the author 'trilby else'.

but mind control, as it often is in my own sexual fantasies, can be about literal, overwhelming control. i won't apologize for the way my brain works, nor for the fact that I'm attracted to women as opposed to men (would you have called me a misandrist if all of my sexual characters were male?). i will reiterate, though, that these are fantasies. *my* fantasies, which I happen to have enough language ability to occasionally write down and post. it's unfortunate that they don't perfectly dovetail with your own, but I have no influence over that.

re: misogyny. loaded term, and not one anyone enjoys having applied to themselves, especially in the context of a site where writers expose the more private bits of their psyche to the general public. i urge you to use it with a bit more selectivity, or you're more likely to discourage people from writing at all than shifting their style. I freely admit that there is plenty of sexual objectification in my stories, and that often sex occurs between two characters who are not in love with each other, and often don't like each other that much.

your complaint about how the characters in this story use their powers just for sex is slightly specious, i think. If i'd written a story about Sarah using her powers on some tin-pot dictator in a third world country to better the lives of its citizens, I could make it interesting, but I don't think I could make it erotic. that said, this is the third story I ever wrote, and I freely admit that both characters are not, in fact, human, but basically thin cloaks for my own id.

*all* of that said, you read an awful lot of text, based on the stories you mention, before you decided to comment. I think I'm grateful that you were invested enough to care to that degree, and I'm genuinely sorry that your pleasure was spoiled because of certain elements of my writing. i think, perhaps, that if the content didn't touch on sexuality at all, we might have been a better fit.

While the sizable amount of time since the last comment may make this a bit of beating a dead horse, I have some concerns about the other Anon's understanding of how Mind Control stories work.

For the most part, any MC story that is from the perspective of the controller will involve depriving actors of their agency or otherwise using people as objects. Rather bluntly, MC stories are about the loss of agency in the story, and all the other fun themes that are staples of mind control erotica are just extensions of characters experiencing, fighting, or enacting that loss of agency.

To claim that it's misogynistic for female characters to be controlled and treated as sexual objects, in a genre predominantly about people being controlled and treated as sexual objects, is an astounding display of disingenuity.

But away from my grievances with the other anon and on to my impressions of the story itself.

First off, I feel that a better job could have been done on making the couple feel like fleshed out characters. While their dynamic together felt strong, I feel that more could have been done with their "professions", even if it was just a few lines catching up about what the other had done since their previous meeting. For being named The Patron and The Saint, I didn't really get a strong impression of either being their half of the title, with the exception of the short section about the mezzo.

However, both of them were very charming characters, and their back-and-forth worked very well, feeling smooth and natural as opposed to painfully rehearsed and stilted feeling that most authors attempting such give off. I wasn't sure who to root for in their little duel because in the short period of time during it I found myself strongly liking both of them.

I felt that it was an interesting and very satisfying decision for Sarah to maintain most of her faculties and personality even after losing and being controlled, as opposed to the vacant-eyed zombies or people trapped within their own bodies that controlled people are usually written as. Her contributions to the night, especially during the elevator scene and with Xyla, were what made the story in my opinion, even more than the Patron's planning for the night's events.

I did feel it was an odd choice for there to be no sex, anal or otherwise, between the Patron and Sarah, especially after how heavily it was teased during the fingering scene in the limo, but I was oddly okay with the post-coital cuddling scene at the end.

I very much hope that TP&TS becomes a series so I can see more of these two's antics in the future.

Sexy, fun. I want to read more.

Saving this in the "Just Wow" category on my favorites file. It's that good. After reading this and "Oceana," I now feel compelled to read everything else you've ever posted.