All Comments on 'The Phone Call'

See how bored you will be living in a trailer with a mexican who makes 500.00 a week and stays drunk all weekend and wants to share you with his brothers, all 4 who live with you. Good luck slut.

The Husband should just put her out on the red light district and charge the people that she meets and make her his whore instead of her being his wife .

new woman in his life.destory the mexican.

The cheating slut incriminates herself. How perfectly satisfactory. But where the story goes is the key. I look forward to the next part.<p>

Thanks for sharing

Have never seen beer "dressed in a blood-red corset and black heels".It usually comes in a six pack or on tap.

Burn them both. This looks like it has potential.

I do hope she gets what she diserves. And no I don't mean carry on shagging the landscaper.

If the gardner called the husband Senior, where was Junior?

I would have asked her what the Mexican was doing anwnsering the phone and demanded that she get her ass out of the house before I got there...dumb ass cluless husbands...worthless mexican immigrants and slut drippy crusty cunted wives...sheesh...we really need them...what we don't need id the creeps that write these stories...marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

I see "married with no balls" is out of the loony bin again.A good story take no notice of the idiot, author.Watch this get him going An English Gentleman.

I really cannot see what is wrong with this story,one particular comment needs to stop drinking[married with balls]

what the husband was contemplating. Finish the story with a sequal or second chapter, and I will give you 100.<p>

You have a great opportunity here to make this a really good, longer work.<p>

Have a good day!

hehehe...

another motherfucker shakespears.

go fuck your mother and sisters in their ass insted of wasting time here.

The ending was OK. Sort of O'Henry in form, so there exists plenty of precedents in classical literature. You could have

built up the characters more. And please run your Spanish by someone who speaks the language. I admit that there are a lot of different dialects but this is definitely not any Mexican Spanish that I have seen.

I can see a dead mexican in a dumpster and her gutted whoring filthy ass body laying in the desert being eaten by coyotes. What a happy ending.......kill 'em all.

Story O.K. so far will see where it goes. Divorce and payback or some wimp ass cockold shareing bullshit. No real husband would keep the worthless and possibly dangerous slut around. She may have already infected her husband, sell her to a whorehouse in Mexico, then she can have all the brown cocks she will ever want. O.K. writer, lets see if you stand up when you piss or sit!

Wife got hers in, it'll be fun to see waht the husband does. I see marriedwith is off his meds and contributing his usual pile of horseshit. In the meantime, thanks for the story.

The main point of this fictional piece of work is that Dorothy is a cheating wife using the hired help, who happens to be Mexican as a sex toy. She is rude, arrogant, ignorant and obnoxious; a rich tramp, if you will. Her frivolous attitude towards both her husband and the gardener has landed her in trouble, of which she must pay the consequences.

The Mexican's role in this is just that - a guy with a big cock. I'd like to think I didn't write any disparaging remarks about him or Mexicans in general. (I was going to use a hunchbacked, black Irish Jew with a speech impediment, but figured, nah, they'd never buy that ...)

The end impacts reader assumption and undercuts your comments intention for the story.<P>

You didn't make it clear what he was thinking or his reactive emotions. One cannot read your mind or the husbands so the reader inclination of his non-expression either in thought or verbally is a wimpish one.<P>

Endings are the most difficult part of any story as its both the last opportunity to impress - to sell the story's intention and as importantly it is what we are left with in finality memory wise.<P>

Mistakes are experience to be mined - or ignored at peril.

A women thinking some guy is watching him and pulling out his cock. Never happen that is not what women think about. I read no more and gave it a 1.

What sort of tool makes an acct just to say "I voted 1" on every story?

Fucking rich bitch cheating skank slut cunt whore wife. She should die of aids.

by stupidity and a fickle finger. TK U MLJ LV NV

Nicely done!

Please consider a sequel

As the omniscient observer, the author can't have it both ways!

"She HUNG up, dropped the phone ...". Hubby could NOT have hear anything else, because the all-seeing, all-knowing observer said Sweetie HUNG up! End of story! Sweetie lives to get plowed another day!

I don't mind explicit sex scenes, but when 95% of the story is about their various sexual exploits, and the author then TRIES to torpedo Sweetie by misrepresenting what the author had already clearly told us, it SUX!

The author could be honest and say something like "She tried to hang up ..." but few would not see the disasterous gap and there goes the twist. Better to just start with "Dropped the phone ..." but most would note that 'disconnection' was missed and ADIOS twist. Sorry, but the author is hoist by one petard (lying) or the other (give away the twist.)

Moral? Keep the fertilization with the grass and roses!

3* Old story ... Been there, done that (often, but more carefully)

The husband came home unexpectedly and without a word to his wife, retreaved the various audio and video devices he had hidden throughout the house. When his wife realized what he was doing...she fainted.

Let us determine what we would like to do to them

4 stars

I have a very good imagination

Burn the village and salt the earth. Bring the roof down on the wife and the gardener by every means possible. The ending was everything.

She is finished good,

Another chapter plse.

Ending was good, Ill give it that.