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All three of us started to laugh, and then Helen said, "I guess I can't send all of those back home to my boyfriend now, can I"? We all laughed again and then I got up and offered my hand to Helen. I pulled you up from the bed and then wrapped my arms around you and kissed you deeply. We held together for a beat and then parted.
"Helen" Lisa said "There's a shower in the changing room, go freshen up and I will sort out these pictures for you, okay"? Helen nodded and then went over to shower. After 10 minutes, Helen came out and I hopped in and showered myself clean, then I dressed and joined Helen and Lisa at the pc while they sorted out the pictures.
Helen reached for her purse, but I shook my head and said, "I will sort that out with Lisa later, okay"? You nodded your head, gathered up your stuff, gave me a kiss on the cheek, you kissed Lisa on the cheek and then left the studio. Lisa and I cleaned up the set and turned off the lights and left. Lisa hooked her arm through mine and we walked along laughing and chatting about what just happened. "What shall we have to eat Lisa?" I asked.
Lisa looked at me and thought for a moment, then said, "Chinese Chris, and you are paying and I want good wine tonight, not that cheap assed shit you normally buy us". I laughed and kissed her cheek as we headed to our favourite restaurant.
- COMMENTS
shyblueeyes1371about 13 years agoAuthorThank you for your honest comments. This is how we learn and improve our writing skills. Yes I wrote it as "Me", but the story was for a specific person, so I just went with it. But I appreciate all of your comments, and I hope I will be able to take the next step to make my stories a better and more enjoyable read.
imurddyabout 13 years agoI'm not female, so have difficulty reading a story that speaks to the reader as he was a woman. Good story line, just don't put the reader in the story, I don't like feeling like I'm the one getting stuffed. I gave it a two!
skywriterxxxabout 13 years agoI was expecting a story I could identify with... I do not like stories that use 'you' as the subject. This could have been a GREAT story, but the way it's written limits the audience to those who want to be the 'you'. I have a 'hard' time seeing myself as a hot dripping female.... sorry!
