All Comments on 'The Picnic'

There is huge potential in this story however the grammar is appalling. Please either use an editor or read it out loud to yourself.

This story is...and I use the word 'Is', not 'was'...so hot it literally left me panting...panting in anticipation of more---more and better. But the ending should have been so much better! Instead of leaving us with a fine Scotch whiskey, instead you left us with butterscotch, and you chose to end without a cliffhanger, as I suspect you wanted to, but could not find one sufficient to meet your needs. What a shame!

YOMEYO