All Comments on 'The Pool'

I quite liked it

you could probably use more of a build up but the idea was great. you should write a sequel

The plot of this story is very good, and has great potential. The writing definetely needs some work though. Your build up was kind of confusing at times, you spent too much time on details that didnt matter, and not enough time on those that were important to the story. Dont get discouraged, keep trying.

weary instead of wary, for instance. I think it was a good idea to leave "room" as it were, to continue the story. I'd like to see a continuation as I liked what you have, so far.