by PaulSandarac
Thanks for writing and sharing your story. I love and will be very happy to see you continue with the story.
I like the way you added another couple to the mix of people in the story. It was another great chapter in this series. I hope you write another one soon.
Lovely way to end the series - would be nice in the future to read about Jayne's striptease that was put on hold because of the game! Keep up the good work!
...don't have to come to an absolute end. Although their poker-playing days might end with that game, you COULD always continue using the characters, as they are, in future stories! Help them find new places to carry out their activities, let them grow up into married couples if that is your desire, maybe bring them all back together in several "years" (story years, not necessarily in 2012 or something) and let them play a game for "old times' sake". You could take this into all different directions on the literotica spectrum...maybe anal, group sex/orgy, have Kathy and Jayne swap as a dare, have the girls do a dare together as an incest/taboo theme (like we all thought might be the direction that the first story was going)...the possibilities are ENDLESS!
Whatever you should decide to do in the future with these characters, thanks for this great series and I hope to read more about (these couples/this group) in the future!
Great job!
Sensuality with plenty of eager anticipation. Good Job!
Erotic tension that was well done. Good Job!
In my years reading Literotica, this was easily the best story I've read. You kept up the excitement and pulled the
reader right into the story. Please write more.
I was expecting a little more tension. Something like some inter couple fooling around. Maybe next one.
Firstly I must emphasise how good I think the previous two stories are. They are amongst the best-written pieces I have read in creating a strong sexual tension between well-crafted characters; this marks them out from the cartoonist, pornified characters often found in other stories that bear little resemblance to reality and merely imitate a crude stereotype.
So these stories rank as an excellent achievement in erotic writing. However, as the author notes in the introduction, this third chapter is taking the story too far. It follows exactly the same pattern as in the previous two stories except with additional new characters. During the game the experienced players' knowing comments and overt conversation is a little irritating; they are too confident and hence removes a lot of the tension and anticipation that was in the previous chapters.
Furthermore, the dares best exemplify that this third chapter is merely an inferior re-run of the first two chapters in that there are almost no new dares. The characters end up doing things they've already done before; the fellatio being the one exception.
The over-reliance of couples also means that things become a bit predictable as it is blindingly obvious who is going do what with whom. The best bit about the first chapter was that uncertainty, and the dare given by Jayne. Nevertheless, I've given this story a 4, purely because it is just as well-written and the concept just as strong as in the previous chapters.
I note that there are further chapters, despite the author's comments in the introduction to this story and so I shall look forward to reading them. I would love to read a strip-poker story written by the author that uses brand-new characters, who are not coupled up but simply individuals, which would yield a lot more freedom for the dares. To be frank, I wouldn't like to see the existing set of characters engage in swapping partners as they are too cutesy, too inexperienced and unlikely to seek other people. The emphasis has strongly been on loved-up coupledom and to break with that would be tremendously difficult to execute in a plausible manner. Finally, the idea that they would play exactly the same game for a FOURTH time is risible.
Keep up the brilliant work.
Too Good Not To Be Better. Oh, Paul, I wish you had spent more time proofreading. Its when the contraction was needed: It's. Missing words in sentences. Nancy and Steve when it should have been Nancy and John. Inconsistent use of blond/blonde (the latter would have been preferred). Still and all, a wonderful story.