The Proposal Ch. 02

"What do you know?" Rick finally asks, his voice quiet.

"I know that you proposed to Giselle during a picnic on a beach somewhere."

"San Miguel Island."

"I know that you had a picnic with Giselle on a beach on San Miguel Island. That's where you proposed to her," Todd begins again, then waving his beer in the general direction of the kitchen window, adds, "She accepted. I assume, based on Charlie's reaction, that you must have rocked her world on that same beach. What I don't know is why that has affected her so. Charlie, I mean."

After a pause Rick speaks softly, "That's the sum of it." There is another pause, but Todd waits patiently. "I don't know why Charlie is so jazzed up about this and I don't understand why Giselle did what she did." Pause. "You and Charlie are my best friends, but I don't know about this."

"Don't worry about it. I'll talk to Charlie tonight," Todd says, then he puffs his chest out like he is going to beat on it again, then deflates it comically. "Oh never mind. Who am I kidding?" Rick laughs gently at his friend's antics as Todd adds, "Seriously, I'll talk to her, okay?"

***

The four enjoy a meal of steak, roasted peppers and potatoes, all expertly grilled by Rick. Todd, feeling a bit guilty that Giselle and Charlie prepared the food and Rick cooked it, appoints himself errand boy and makes sure no one wants for anything, insisting after the meal that they sit while he cleans up. At home Charlie cooks and he cleans... something he feels well rewarded for. Besides, in a modern kitchen, cleanup takes what, fifteen, twenty minutes?

Afterwards the four of them are sitting by the pool once more in comfortable silence when Charlie speaks up. "Rick, about the immersion."

Todd pipes up, "Charlie..."

Giselle interrupts, "Let her finish. I want to hear what she has to say."

Charlie pauses a moment. When nobody else adds anything, she continues. "Giselle and I were talking. I understand what you are saying about the chip not reading thoughts. It comes down to feelings, right? If I say I feel hot, I feel cold, I feel hungry, I feel lust, I feel pain... if I can say 'I feel' something and it makes sense it will come through on an immersion, right?"

Rick nods. "That's pretty much it."

"But if I say, I feel math, or I feel blue sky, not only does that sound stupid but the immersion doesn't get it either. If I said I feel happy because I love a blue sky, I would get the happy but not the blue sky. Does that about sum it up?"

"That's it precisely."

"Do you realize what you just said?"

He didn't. "What did I say?"

"You said you can capture emotions."

"Uhhh... okay. I guess. So...?"

"Do you know what the most popular immersion is?" Charlie asks.

"Porn," Rick replies.

"Okay, you're right," Charlie agrees. "What I should have asked is do you know what the most popular non-sexual immersion is?"

Rick hasn't the first clue and shrugs his shoulders. "Uhhh..." but then he thinks about it and the answer comes to him: roller coaster rides. Because of his expertise he can tell that the answer came from the chip. Dammit! That is one problem with the net—you can't play guessing games anymore. They—Feedback Alive that is—should try to fix that in the interface. "Roller coasters."

"Yeah," Charlie agrees, "roller coasters. But I don't like feeling like I am plunging to my death in real life, and I don't think I would like it in an immersion either. Where I love tennis, maybe not everyone would enjoy feeling hot, sweaty, and out of breath. Well, not from chasing a little green ball, anyway." She giggles. "My point is, not everybody likes the same things, but there are two things that everyone likes and wants: triumph and being loved. Your immersion has both of those, and in spades. I was thrilled that you asked me, that you asked Giselle, to marry you. She had won you. Giselle and I both know you could have your pick among women, you stud muffin you, but you picked Giselle. Her thrill was overwhelming. It made her cry. When was the last time you saw Giselle cry? Maybe never? And the love. I positively burned..." Charlie stops, blows out a puff of breath in frustration at her mangled dialogue, then tries again, "Giselle positively burned, she loves you so much. And she knew you loved her too. The feelings were so incredibly powerful. I'm still moved by them. What happened next..." Charlie clenches her mouth shut, realizing she's almost said too much.

"Go ahead," Rick says, and while glancing at Todd adds, "he's guessed the gist of it already."

Charlie continues. "What happened next was wonderful." Turning to Todd she speaks directly to him. "They made love under the stars on the beach. It was sooo romantic." Then, addressing the group again she continues, "I'm touched in ways I can't even express. I really liked Giselle before, but now..." Charlie speaks to the entire group but looks only at Giselle, "... I feel closer to her than I have felt to any friend I have ever had. Ever."

They all sit in silence a moment, taking in what she said. After a brief pause, she speaks again. "I want Todd to experience it. It is so profoundly moving, I want everyone to experience it. It needs to be shared with the world. I can't remember if I felt the same rush of excitement when Todd asked me to marry him that Giselle felt when you asked her. Maybe. Probably, but I can't remember. But this is like it just happened. It's fresh, strong. I so wish I had a recording of Todd asking me..." Her voice trails off.

"How about I cut the experience after the proposal?" Rick suggests.

Charlie deflates just a bit, "I suppose that would be alright, but I think he would be missing a large part of the experience. He wouldn't, couldn't, get the full expression of your love for Giselle. Or Giselle's love for you, either. He couldn't. Rick, I'm telling you, this is some heady stuff. It's..." she stops, looking for the word, "It's... I don't know, 'magical' is the only word I can think of."

"Okay, I—" Rick begins, but Giselle cuts him off.

"Would you two excuse us a moment?" Giselle asks, rising from her chair and taking Rick's hand to pull him along behind her as they move away, out of earshot.

"Charlie!" Todd begins as soon as Rick and Giselle are out of range, his voice carrying a slight edge. "Enough! It doesn't matter to me and it's obvious that what's in that immersion is intensely private and he doesn't want to share it, so drop it."

She looks back at him and matches his steel with a bit of her own. "Trust me. You want this, but Rick, he needs this. He needs to share this with someone, he just doesn't know it yet. I now feel closer to Giselle than I would to my sister, if I had a sister. I don't know how this will affect you men with all your macho bullshit, but I think the effect upon you, and Rick, will be profound. Rick always pushes people away, never lets them get close, always bottling up his feelings. Well, except for Giselle, of course. He never lets anyone get close to him. He's not happy and he doesn't even know it." She softens her tone just a bit. "Trust me, Todd. If he goes for this, it will be the best thing to happen to Rick in a long time. He will learn that he doesn't have to always go it alone."

"Charlie, I don't know," Todd says. She can read people better than anyone he knows, but he likes Rick, likes him a lot, and he doesn't want to screw that up.

She leans in and kisses him lightly on the lips. "Trust me. He's opened up to Giselle, something I didn't think I'd ever see, and look how happy he is around her. Let's see if we can do the same between you two. He needs someone he can talk to, someone he can trust, other than Giselle."

They watch Giselle and Rick as they talk quietly in the corner of the yard. His head is down as if in shame while she speaks to him softly. The conversation finished, he pulls her to him and she wraps her arms around him, pulling his head down to her, obviously offering him comfort and support. They stand like that for several long moments before the embrace falls away. He straightens and they walk slowly back to them.

***

Giselle pulls Rick to the corner of the yard so that Todd and Charlie can't hear their conversation. When she feels they are far enough away she turns to him and, stepping in close, says as gently as she can, "I think Charlie is right. You should let Todd experience it."

"Why, Giselle? Why?" he exclaims quietly. "Why do you want to share something so intimate?"

"What are you afraid of? Do you think Todd doesn't feel love, or lust? Do you think he doesn't know we make love?"

"I don't know! I just don't want him to experience it, that's all! Not the last part anyway."

"Are you afraid you won't measure up?" she teases. "Trust me big boy, you have nothing to worry about."

"It's not that. Well, mostly not that. It's just so damn personal!"

"And that," Giselle says firmly, "is exactly why you should let him experience it. You always push people away, never let anyone get close. You still do that, even to me in some regards. I know it was tough growing up. Keeping people at a distance may prevent you from being hurt, but it keeps you from being loved as well. Jonathan hurt me. After I found out about his affairs, I was hurt. I hurt inside and it wasn't until I finally took a leap of faith and let you into my heart that I healed. I still struggle with that sometimes. I wonder, deep down, if you'll hurt me too."

He looks at the ground. "I'll never hurt you. Not like that. Not intentionally," he whispers.

"I know. I really do know. But doubt is a terrible thing. It twists and turns and slips into every little crack." She pauses and takes in a deep breath. "Do you want to know why I let Charlie experience the immersion?" She doesn't wait for his answer. "It was because I was feeling sorry for myself. I was twisting myself up because we have been married about as long as Jonathan and I had been when I found out he was out banging other women. I don't know why I mentioned it—maybe because I was feeling particularly close to Charlie right then—but I told her that I worried that someday you would tire of me, push me away too. I just wanted to hear her tell me it would be okay. That you wouldn't do that to me."

"I—" he begins, but she cuts him off.

"Let me finish. I told her I was worried that you would push me away like you do everyone else, Todd and Charlie included. But Charlie told me something that surprised me. She told me that even when you were with a woman you were constantly on the prowl."

She can't see his face flush red in the darkness but she can sense his body stiffen. "I never—" he begins but she cuts him off again.

"Tell me the truth, Rick, tell yourself the truth. Charlie told me that she didn't think you ever cheated on the women you were with at the time, and Charlie didn't say it so many words, but did you once lust after her? She told me you tried to hide it, did hide very well. She said she trusted you then to not do anything you shouldn't, so I trust you now, but tell me, truthfully: did you want Charlie?"

"No. I never..." he begins, but then pauses. After a time, in a voice so quiet that Giselle almost can't hear him he continues. "Yes. Maybe once. But not now, not since you."

She feels warmth pour through her. She has truly won him, and her love for him at this moment multiplies a thousand fold. She can feel tears forming in her eyes from the power of her emotions. She issues a tearful little giggle, followed by a sniff, as she tries to hold back her tears. She steps closer, taking him into an embrace.

"She told me that too. We love you Rick, all of us. Let us in. Please, let us into your heart."

Rick wraps his arms around her and holds her to him to draw on her strength. Her words have brought back all the old hurts, the desires unfulfilled, the feelings of how utterly alone he'd felt until he fell for her. It also makes him feel shame for treating Todd as he has. Todd is a good friend, his best friend, someone that has stood with him every time he needed a friend. And he tries to be a good friend as well, always willing to help out. On the emotional side, however, the friendship is barren. When Todd's father passed away, he watched his friend suffer, but he didn't know what to do. He had no words to offer other than meaningless platitudes, unable to understand Todd's grief except at the intellectual level. What kind of friend is that? A single tear escapes and rolls down his cheek as he squeezes his eyes tightly shut, fighting to hold back the flood of tears that threaten. Holding her to him, he realizes he is tired of being alone.

She feels a single tear drip on her neck. She has never seen Rick cry before and the moment fills her with joy that the walls around his heart are finally beginning to crumble. She also feels sadness that she's the one twisting his emotions. Holding him tight, she wordlessly assures him of her support. He straightens, breaking the embrace. She looks into his face and kisses his eye, drying the tear.

"Okay," he says very quietly. "For you."

"No!" she whispers sternly. "Not for me. For you. Do this for yourself. Don't do it for me, or Todd, or Charlie, or anybody else. Do this only for yourself." Her tone softens. "I'm here for you, Rick. I always will be. We all are. Trust us."

Stepping back from her, he clears his throat. "Let's not keep our guests waiting," he says huskily. They turn and walk slowly back to Todd and Charlie, arms twined together as they lean into each other just for the sake of touching.

***

When they rejoin their guests, Giselle appears relaxed but Rick looks... haunted. Rick sits, leaning forward, elbows on knees, looking from Charlie to Todd and back again. No one says anything and simply waits while he battles his inner demons. Finally, after several long moments, he speaks, sounding as if he is heaving off an immense weight, "Okay, fine. The whole thing."

Charlie immediately gets to her feet and rounds the table that separates them before crouching in front Rick and takes him into her arms. "Thank you," she says softly. "Thank you so very much." She hugs him tightly for a moment before standing and moving back to her chair.

With false bravado Rick talks to the group in general while looking at Todd, hoping he understands that he is joking. "If you make fun of my technique, I'm going to kick your ass... and do it in front of your wife," he says as Giselle giggles.

"I..." Todd begins, understanding that Rick is yanking on him.

"Don't worry... I'm hoping he picks up a couple of those techniques!" Charlie says, cutting Todd off. Giselle begins to giggle harder and Charlie soon joins in. Rick and Todd look at each other, neither sure of what is so funny.

Moments later two links arrive in Charlie and Todd's mailboxes. "Those are the links to the immersion," Rick explains. "The first one is an individual immersion stream. Charlie, you have Giselle's, Todd, you have mine. The second link is a shared stream. This is a little something I cooked up for Giselle and me. It's pretty rough, but it works. The way it works is one of you links into the immersion, but the immersion won't start. You then crosslink to the other person. Only when both of you are in the immersion state will the actual immersion start. This way your immersions will be in sync. Like I said, it's rough. This is something else I never intended to share with anyone," Rick says, but then smiles at them to let them know he is not digging at them. "If you are going to do this, I recommend using the shared link," he adds, then pauses to see if they understand. "Giselle and I, we use the shared link exclusively... it's better that way."

Charlie and Todd look to each other, then back to Rick. "I may not be able to stand it," Charlie says with a grin.

Rick snorts at Charlie's comment. "I would recommend you try it, now, before you leave," he suggests, "that way if you have any problems, we can sort them out. Simply follow the link, then crosslink to the other. Who wants to go first?"

"I will," Charlie says.

"Okay then," Rick says. "Charlie, start the immersion. Todd, you will get a ping from Charlie. Simply follow the ping like any other. Let the immersion run until something happens, something you will clearly remember, then end the immersion. The first one out of the immersion kills the experience for both. Clear?"

Charlie and Todd both nod. Charlie settles a bit in her chair, then fades out. A moment later she comes back. "Okay, I started the immersion but then how do I crosslink over? I can't get my bearings in there."

Rick chuckles a little. "I told you it is rough. The immersion state is pending. I know it feels weird, but it works just like when you want to end the immersion state. Just ask Todd to join you." Then, as an afterthought, Rick adds, "I'll try to clean the interface up so it isn't so confusing if you guys want to experience the immersion again."

"Go ahead and get started on that," Charlie says just before dropping out again.

A short burst of laughter escapes Rick as he turns and looks at Giselle, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at Charlie's comment. "She's a mess."

"She is that," Giselle agrees with a smile.

Rick watches Todd zone out into the thousand-yard stare of someone accessing the net or experiencing an immersion. They are gone for about two minutes, then return to them at the same time.

"So," Rick asks, "who pulled the plug?"

"I did," Todd says.

"What did you key on?"

"Giselle pushed some hair out of her eyes," he says before looking at Giselle. "I had forgotten you used to wear your hair longer. I like it... growl," he teases, bobbing his eyebrows at her as Giselle gives him a dismissive wave of her hand.

Rick looks to Charlie. "I know it probably ended unexpectedly for you, but what was the last thing you did or said?"

"Uhhh... I think I was getting the hair out of my eyes. But I don't remember exactly."

"Okay, I think that's it," Rick says before looking pointedly at Charlie. "I'll see what I can do about the interface."

Charlie gives Rick one of her beaming smiles. "Thank you again, Rick. This means a lot to me."

"So, what's next?" Todd asks

"Nothing," Rick replies. "Just experience the immersion. You both are already cleared through the firewall, so you may experience it at your leisure."

***

After the decision is made to allow Todd to experience the immersion, the entire subject isn't mentioned again, and the conversion turns to other interests. Even though nothing else is said about the immersion, Rick is still on edge about the entire affair and he can't figure out what's bothering him. Perhaps it is the intimacy of what he and Giselle shared on the beach that night, or maybe it is as simple as he doesn't want another man banging his wife, even in an immersion. Attitudes about sex have changed a lot in the last one hundred years or so, but there is still a limit. On the other hand, Giselle doesn't seem at all concerned that Charlie has experienced their moment on the beach and while Giselle can hardly be called a prude, she is certainly less vivacious than Charlie.

Rick's emotions are still in turmoil as he uses his depilation cream on his face and rinses his mouth. Spitting the new brand of rinse into the sink with a 'bleh,' Rick looks at the bottle. "Orange flavor, my ass," he mutters.

While Rick isn't vain, he does care about his appearance and is so glad he doesn't have to shave everyday like his father did. Well, when his father felt like shaving, anyway. Now, a couple shakes of the depilation cream into the hands, a quick wipe on the face and neck, wipe dry with a towel, and no more hair for two or three days. He wasn't old enough to shave when the depilation creams first hit the market, so he has never used a razor, but he does remember brushing his teeth and he much prefers the swish-and-go ease of the sterilizers, even if they do taste like ass. White teeth, fresh breath, and no cavities, all from a simple rinse two or three times a day.