The Pursuit of Happiness

"How about dessert?"

For a split second she wondered if there was a double entendre in his statement, but she forced that thought aside. "Okay..."

"See you around six?"

"Okay, see you then..."

Olivia closed her eyes as she hung up the phone. She knew it wasn't real. Had known it all night, just refused to acknowledge it. Ben had obviously had his beer goggles on, because there was no way that he would ever soberly choose to be with someone like her. Clasping a pillow to her chest, she gave in to emotion and hot tears streamed down her cheeks.

*****

In the bright light of day, Ben knew he had fucked up. As he scrubbed his bathroom fixtures in preparation for his dinner guest, he knew it deep down. He hadn't had any nefarious motives when he invited her out. He just wanted to see her let her hair down a bit - see what that Olivia was like. And she'd become "Liv" to him. Someone warm, sensual, and eminently touchable. Damn!

He was a fool for not resisting the temptation! Now, he hoped. It was easier not to hope - to set Olivia up on a pedestal, to be admired from afar. Now he dreamed. Now he wanted her... and not that vague longing based on imaginings, but fueled by the memory of passionate kisses and soft curves pressed against him.

He shook that thought from his head as he started on the shower. Better not to hope, dream or want. Safer that way.

Ben had been married for four years when he was younger. He'd met Stephanie at twenty-four, when he was home on leave from Afghanistan. Instant attraction. Sizzling chemistry, and before he knew it, they were getting married at City Hall two days before his leave ended. But she was even younger than he was, and had no idea of what it meant to be married to a Marine. And he was stupid and selfish - led by the emotion of the moment - not thinking of how hard it would be for a young woman to wait months to see a husband she barely knew again. It really was doomed from the beginning.

But eighteen months in, after his tour ended, he decided to give the private sector a try - and give his marriage a try at the same time. They moved to Fort Worth, and it was a little like a honeymoon for a while. She was still beautiful, and funny, but it didn't take too long for him to realize that she wasn't what he originally thought. Her sweetness was a thin veneer, covering up a narcissism that nauseated him. At twenty-six, he wanted to settle down, maybe start a family soon, but Stephanie had different ideas. She was still young, and wanted to party. He went along at first, but all the bars ran into one another, and it was the same shit every time. They were drinking too much and spending too much money, and Ben hated seeing Stephanie flirting with other men. He felt like she was deliberately provoking him and their petty squabbles turned into serious fights. The beginning of the end.

He wasn't stupid enough to believe that all women were like Stephanie. And really, she wasn't a horrible person - just young and self-centered. If his deployment hadn't been looming, they never would have married, and their relationship would likely have fizzled out in a few months. Instead, his marriage and the time it took to heal after the divorce ate up six years of his life.

He'd been careful after that. Safe. Not a monk, by any means, but he never let his heart get involved again. Why was he considering it now?

Considering it? Hell, it was too late for that! He was cleaning his damn house for her!

*****

Olivia had been to Ben's home once before. Last Christmas, he'd hosted a staff party, and she had admired the little Craftsman-style bungalow that he'd been slowly renovating. The porch was new - she could tell for several reasons, not the least of which was that she didn't feel like she was going to fall through the floor boards this time.

It had taken her a long time to get ready, because she knew this night could go a few different ways. Although she was fairly certain she'd get the "let's just be friends" speech, there was that outside chance that he'd kiss her again - and maybe more. She cautioned her heart not to hope, but there it was, in the back of her mind. And now, clad in blue jeans, and a navy bohemian-style blouse, she felt she straddled the line. There was nothing very suggestive about her outfit, but if he liked tight jeans, ankle boots with a bit of heel, and a hint of cleavage, it might just do the trick.

His dark hair was still damp when he answered the door, and he gave her a smile that didn't quite seem to reach his eyes and a friendly peck on the cheek. Her heart sank, but she put on a brave front.

"The floors look great," she commented, as he closed the door behind her.

"Thanks," he replied, following her gaze as he ran one hand through his hair. "It was a beating...not sure I wouldn't hire it out next time..."

She took another few steps into the room and turned to face him, offering him the pan in her hands. "Apple cobbler for dessert. If you like it warm, we can stick it in the oven before we sit down to eat."

Ben's eyes lit up. They were such a clear blue, fringed by dark lashes, and Olivia was mesmerized for a moment. "That's literally my favorite dessert! How did you know?"

She laughed, genuinely. "You may have mentioned it in conversation a time or two..."

And so they proceeded into the kitchen where Ben had some chicken breasts marinating and was starting to put together a salad. She volunteered her services, and the two worked companionably for several minutes before he stepped out the back door to check on the grill. Olivia felt like a voyeur as she watched his plaid flannel shirt stretch across his shoulders as he brushed the rack vigorously. He had such nice shoulders...

She forced herself to pay attention to the celery she was cutting before she chopped a finger off. That wouldn't be any way to make a good impression. Taking a sip of the white wine he'd poured for her before putting her to work, Olivia felt herself relax a little. It would be okay. They could still be friends.

Ben came back inside for the chicken, and he asked her to check the potatoes in the oven while he got the meat going. When she did, she was pleasantly surprised. He hadn't just thrown a few potatoes in to bake, but had chopped and seasoned them, before drizzling with olive oil. The scent was enough to make her salivate, but she resisted stealing a bite as she stirred and returned them to the oven.

Olivia resisted the urge to watch Ben at the grill, instead applying herself to the making of the salad with far more concentration than it actually warranted. When it was safely tucked into a mostly empty fridge, she picked up her glass of wine and stepped onto the back patio to join Ben.

He offered her a chair, and they watched the sun set over the trees in his back yard as they chatted about inconsequential things. She found herself laughing and enjoying herself. Yes, this would be okay. It would be just fine. Ben was a good person and just being his friend would be enough, she told herself. It would have to be.

Dinner was more of the same. Unlike most single men she knew, Ben not only possessed a dining room table, but apparently used it. It was already set - simply, with no decorations - but then again, she didn't expect flowers and candles - this wasn't a date. It was enough that he knew which side of the plate to place the silverware, and that he owned cloth napkins.

The food was good, and the two of them killed a bottle of wine easily. Olivia was relaxed, but not tipsy. Definitely more in control than the previous night, because it wouldn't do to throw herself at him again.

When the dishes were done, and the cobbler warming in the oven, Ben finally addressed the elephant in the room.

*****

How to start? He'd been asking himself that all evening, and putting off the conversation because he didn't want to ruin things. They were having a good time together... But after he hung up the dishtowels, he couldn't stall anymore.

"So, last night was kind of unexpected, right?" he started lamely.

A flush crept into her cheeks, "Yeah - I'm sorry I acted that way," she blurted suddenly. "It put you in an awkward position, I'm sure..."

What?! Did she think he was upset with her?

"Olivia, you have nothing to apologize for," he reached out to squeeze her arm reassuringly. "If anything, I took advantage of the situation. And I am sorry for that - the taking advantage part..."

She shook her head, and there was a brave set to her chin. "Don't Ben. I practically threw myself at you, and you were kind enough not to push me away."

Ben detected a faint glimmer of tears in her beautiful brown eyes, and he couldn't take it. "Do you remember the things I said to you last night?"

She smiled faintly, "Something about my earlobes?"

He grinned at that, "Yes, I think I said they're cute - which they are..." The grin faded as he ran his fingers through his hair and summoned his courage. "The thing is, Liv, I meant everything I said last night. I really like you, and I think we could have something here."

Tears spilled down her cheeks, and Ben muttered, "Oh Liv, don't..." as he took her face in his hands and tenderly kissed them away.

Her hands flattened against the front of his shirt, "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay..." and he kissed her quivering lips, hoping to hell that he wasn't misunderstanding what she was sorry about. Her body swayed into his, and she slid her arms around his waist. Confirmation enough to keep kissing her.

The piercing sound of the oven timer startled them both, and Ben broke away to silence it and remove the cobbler. Then he took her hand in his and led her to the living room. She hadn't said anything yet, and it was a little unnerving. She should be saying something, right?

Olivia lowered herself to the couch beside him, and gently extracted her fingers from his grip. She wiped the last vestiges of moisture from her cheeks and did a pretty good job of removing the mascara smears.

"I didn't mean to start crying," she explained. "I've just been trying so hard to keep my emotions in check...and when you said what you did, it was this huge relief." The corners of her mouth tugged downwards, and he could tell she was still on the verge.

"You are just...so beautiful, Ben..." her fingertips brushed his chin and she continued, "And it is hard for me to really believe that you would want to be with someone like me..."

Had he heard her right? Did she really not know how appealing she was?

Capturing her hand before she could withdraw it, Ben kissed her wrist. "Honey, first of all, you can't call me beautiful. It's damaging to my machismo..." That made her smile. "Secondly, you obviously have no idea of your charms. I would be glad to educate you..." he finished with a twinkle in his eye.

Olivia raised an eyebrow skeptically, "Really, now... And where would you start?"

With a grin, Ben leaned back to give her a once over. "I'll start with your amazing fashion sense..." he reached down and lifted one of her feet up onto his lap. "These little boots are hot, and I have a sneaking suspicion that you wore them because you knew I'd like them..."

That made her smile, "Okay, maybe I hoped you'd like them..."

"You know me pretty well, I'd say..." and he proceeded to pull the boot off her foot. "But I bet these aren't that comfortable, am I right?"

"You are right," she admitted, and allowed him to remove her second boot. When he started to massage one of her feet, she groaned, "Are you trying to impress me?"

"Yes... please tell me it's working..." he grinned, as he kneaded the arch gently.

"Oooooh, yes, it's working..."

He didn't spend too long on her feet, realizing he had a lot of other virtues to extoll. When his hands moved to her calves, and he pulled her a little closer to him, she balked. "Did you forget about the cobbler? Let me get you some..." and before he could say anything, she jumped up and made for the kitchen, leaving Ben gaping after her.

*****

Olivia was thankful he hadn't followed her from the room. She needed a moment. And as she scooped the dessert into bowls, she repeatedly told herself to chill. What was with her, anyway? Talk about giving mixed signals...

She padded back into the living room and handed Ben a bowl before sitting beside him. "It's still a little warm..."

After one bite, he declared, "Charm #2 - makes the best apple cobbler..."

So, maybe he was a bit of a fibber, but it still made her feel good. "Really now..."

He was half finished with what was in his bowl already, "Yes... and this reminds me of another charm - you actually listened to all of my ramblings, and remembered that it's my favorite. Who does that?"

"Me..." she whispered, taking her first bite. It was pretty good.

"Right...you..." he confirmed. "Liv, you are a special person, don't doubt that..."

"So are you..." she shifted closer and placed a kiss on his cheek. "And you are very kind..."

Ben looked surprised, "This is not kindness, Liv..." and he took her bowl to set it on the floor next to his empty one. "I am trying very hard to behave myself here...when the last thing..." his voice sounded hoarse, "the very last thing I want to do is behave." His hands came to rest on her knees. "And I keep reminding myself that this is all new, and we should really take it slow...that you need to know I respect you..."

"I know that..." her voice sounded strangled, and she covered his hands with hers. "I'm just not very good at this kind of stuff... Last night was easier, because my inhibitions had left the building..."

He chuckled at that. "Fucking inhibitions..."

"Exactly..." she smiled. "Thing is, I don't really want you to behave yourself..." Had she really said that? Hell, yes, she had!

He raised an eyebrow, "You sure about that?"

She shrugged and exhaled, attempting to relieve the anxiety brought on by her own words. "Pretty sure... but if you do something I am not comfortable with, I always have your sage advice to fall back on... 'slap to the face, elbow to the ribs, knee to the groin...'"

Ben laughed and groaned at the same time, dragging her into his arms. "That's what you're going to take away from last night?"

"That and the knowledge that you're a pretty good kisser..."

He nudged her nose with his. "Pretty good?"

Olivia pressed her lips softly to his, "Okay, really good..." Like mega good...

And that's all it took...

*****

Her lips taste so good... Ben thought, sliding both arms around her waist. And Jesus Christ, her tongue...! Where did she learn to kiss like that? Not that he was complaining!

The heat was ratcheting up, and Olivia undid a few of his shirt buttons so she could slide her hand inside to rest on his chest. His heart was pounding, and his hands found the curves of her bottom, pressing her against him. Instinctively, he tried to roll her beneath him, but the couch was not quite deep enough to accomplish that feat, and he ended up on the floor.

"Christ!" He could feel heat in his cheeks, but laughed it away. "Smooth moves, right? Are you still impressed?"

"Very..." she assured him, laughing at the same time.

He stood up and extended his hand to her, "So...no pressure or anything, but can we take this to my room? Less chance of my landing on the floor again..."

"So...you just want to make out?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah..." For now, his traitorous libido added.

It was definitely more comfortable on the bed. With one arm tucked beneath her neck, Ben brushed the hair back from her face and kissed her again. She rolled into him, pressing her breasts against his chest as she slid her arm over his ribs.

There were no words for a long time, as they explored the texture of each other's lips, teeth, tongues. Ben kept reminding himself to take it slow, but Olivia was the one who twined their legs together, so he felt it was only right to tuck her hips even closer, wedging his thigh against her core. That's what she wanted, right? Yes, definitely right... he assured himself, as her fingers flexed against his back.

And she was the one who slid her hands under his shirt to run them over his bare skin. He eased himself back from her slightly, kissing his way over to one delicate earlobe. "You are so fucking sexy, Liv..." he murmured at the same time his knuckles brushed across the rigid peak of a breast.

A small moan escaped her throat and she arched against him. "You like that?" he teased, palming the soft orb, his thumb stroking across the tip once more.

"Yes..." she breathed.

He nibbled on her ear, and then the column of her neck directly below it, and she arched again - although whether it was what his mouth was doing or his hand that prompted the response, Ben did not know.

Her hands started tugging at his shirt, in what he could only interpret as an attempt to pull it off. He murmured, "Buttons..." to remind her that the style was of the button-up variety, and pulled back enough to allow her access.

"Oh right... thanks..." she replied breathlessly, as her fingers went to work. It really only took seconds before the shirt was off and she was running her hands over his shoulders, arms and chest. "You're so strong..." Her fingers lingered on his chest, "I really like your chest hair..."

Ben laughed, "Not into the waxed look?"

She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, "No...too much like a little boy. I prefer a man..."

Threading one hand through her silky hair, he anchored it at the back of her skull, and brought her lips to his. "And I prefer a woman. One with curves, sweet lips and a naughty tongue - like yours..."

He knew she was blushing, but turned on at the same time because he could feel her nipples hard against his chest. "Ben..." she admonished. "I am really not a naughty girl..."

This kiss was not so sweet, not so tender, but Olivia was fully engaged, and pressing her body against his like she wanted more. When he broke off, he whispered, "You are with me, Liv. You are my naughty girl..." And as if to punctuate his words, he squeezed one breast, rolling the nipple gently.

Olivia gasped, and covered his hand with hers, pressing it flat against her. "Yes..." she breathed. "I am with you..."

With that confirmation, Ben lifted the hem of her blouse and worked it over her head. It was a pretty thing, but its presence was not at all conducive to his goals. The light from the hallway was the only illumination in the room, and cast erotic shadows over the hills and valleys of her body.

"God, you're beautiful," he murmured, his fingers gliding reverently over the ivory curves. Sliding one bra strap off her shoulder, Ben peeled down one cup to expose a tightly furled nipple, begging for attention. His tongue reached out to lave, his teeth to nibble, his lips to suckle. And as a result, the most suggestive sounds emanated from Olivia's throat, causing him to harden beyond what he thought imaginable.

*****

Oh, Lord, she was half naked with Ben! And it was good...he was making her feel so good! Beautiful...sexy...

Her fingers combed through his hair as he lavished attention on her aching breasts. The bra was gone, and he seemed to really be enjoying himself. But certainly not half as much as she was. God, she wanted him! They weren't 15, making out on her parents' couch. They didn't have to stop, and surely he didn't want to any more than she did!

She lifted his head away from her, and guided his mouth back to hers. After reaffirming that he was indeed an amazing kisser, Olivia broke away to ask, "How far are we going to go...?"

"As far as you want to..." he breathed. "But like I said, no pressure..."

Desire was making her say crazy things, like, "Do you have any condoms?"

"Yeah..."