All Comments on 'The Rake Ch. 01'

huh?

This is confusing and full of errors. Hopefully it will clear up in the next chapter.

WTF was that? Too confusing. NEEDS a hell of a lot of fucking EDITING! Maybe an editor could actually help you to pull am actual story.

You need to edit. Two obvious problems: Mixing past tense and present tense. Choose one and stick with it. Also, think about creative alternatives to cliches. For example, does a cock really "throb," and when narrated from the woman's point of view, is a mound really "sweet?"

The basic story idea might be good - too soon to tell - but it won't fly without some serious editing.

I'm giving you 3 stars, which supposedly means "keep on writing." But, please do so only with an editor.

An interesting rough draft is superior to a dull polished product. Yes, an editor could help. It could be anyone you trust, who cares about your writing.

Don't tell me it's THE Rake...

Thank you all for commenting, i was not even aware it was approved since they sent me an email saying it was rejected. I am horrible at grammar, punctuation and all of that, i thought it would be fun to try and write one. I found out that grammar and punctuation were very important, not just the story! So thank you all for making me aware, i am posting another one and i hope it turns out a lot better then this one!

Annam