All Comments on 'The Rave'

Ummmm, what?

The sex was well written but the rave scene wasn't. It was pretty apparent you had never been to one and that you've never rolled. Stick to writing about things you know.

way too long of a story...it was lacking a central theme...if you had made it a two or three part submission you may have fared better. needs more focus and direction. you jumped between characters but not well.