The Reluctant Journey Ch. 07

He walked back into the main room of the house and found Malia sitting in the oversized recliner chewing on her bottom lip. She looked up at him with a plainly visible nervous look on her face. He felt weary as soon as he saw it in her eyes. He didn't know what she was thinking, but the history of her thoughts for the day didn't prove promising. He raised his brow in unspoken question.

She looked like she wanted to run away. She didn't though, instead she seemed to force herself to speak. "Is your um, offer, still on the table?" She looked up at his face nervously. He had no idea what she was talking about as he was more interested in trying to read her facial expressions.

"What?" He asked, genuinely confused.

She looked annoyed and highly uncomfortable. "I want you to answer my question. I'll do what you asked, from um, before." Suddenly the cloud lifted from his brain. It wasn't the only thing that started to lift. She wanted to know if she could suck his dick for the answer to her question. He was momentarily speechless and she seemed to lose some of her nerve as he stared at her because she looked at the ground as if it were fascinating.

He'd never thought that was what she was going to say, not in a million years. He hadn't even been serious when he'd made the request. He'd only wanted to scare her away from a subject he didn't want to talk about with her. When he'd been silent for what she must have perceived as too long she looked back up at him.

"I know we aren't in your office anymore, but I was just wondering if it would be okay here? I want to know what happened. I'll do what you asked." She repeated. "If you still want me to." She looked so unsure and innocent. He was straining against his jeans. He soon realized that couldn't take her up on her offer, not after how he'd wronged her the night before. He would not be responsible for another ugly first for this innocent woman. He knew he had to tell her that before he changed his mind.

"Malia that's not going to happen." She actually looked kind of devastated when he denied her. "I was trying to scare you when I said that, I wasn't serious." Except a part of him had visualized her obeying him in his office without question. He suspected it was the part of him that was now at full attention.

"Cain the deal was if I do what you ask you have to answer my question. I know we aren't in your office anymore but I think it is still a more than fair trade." She argued. He felt like he'd stabbed an outlet with a butter knife, she was actually arguing to give him a blow job. It wasn't what she actually wanted though he told himself firmly. She wanted to know his secrets.

"Well the deal is off." He walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water.

"What are you hiding?" She asked.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" He asked her genuinely perplexed at her tenacity.

She looked at him seriously for a moment instead of the floor. "Something changed you. It was whatever happened to Tristan wasn't it?" He didn't answer her, he just studied her overwhelmingly curious face. "I don't know why it's so important to me," she shrugged, "it just is. I want to know what happened to you." She started into his eyes, trying to find his secrets there.

She'd sensed from the beginning that this event had been a turning point for everyone involved. He wasn't sure why he was going to tell her, he didn't have to, but he suddenly realized that he was. Maybe he was tired of keeping it inside. "Fine, I'll tell you."

She looked scared still. "Do you want me to, um,-"

"No." He interrupted before she had the chance to further his discomfort. He wouldn't be able to refuse if she kept making the offer, his willpower was only that of a man after all. "I'll tell you." He walked over to the couch and sat on the far edge, facing the recliner she still sat in. He realized that he'd never actually had to tell this story before. It lived with him in everything he did, and yet he'd never actually said the words to anyone. They'd all known because they'd either seen it for themselves or were told from someone who had.

"I told you that I was out of control when I was a teenager." She nodded in agreement. "It started as a general desire to rebel against my parents, but it got worse. As I got older my rebellion grew and the fights between my father and I got especially volatile. I got my ass kicked the one time I actually tried to throw a punch at him." He smiled cynically. He always wished that the last days with his father hadn't been so marred with regret. Cain wished that his dad would have seen the future version of himself, just to show him that he would change someday. "I was drinking a lot and occasionally experimenting with drugs. My dad was getting to the point where he was going to kick me out of the house, they would have done it sooner but they were still trying to look the part of the perfect family. Then he died. He had a heart attack. He was healthy, it was unexpected." Cain paused, remembering hearing the news in his drunken high stupor.

"I'm sorry." Malia said softly. He nodded in response.

"I was twenty-one at the time. His death only made my behavior worse. I was in a downward spiral and there wasn't anyone who could control me. One night in January, a couple months after he died, I was with a friend, Ryan, and Finn. Finn had been keeping his distance at that time, he wasn't especially self destructive, but he came around after my dad died. The three of us were drinking and we'd ingested some kind of synthetic drug that Ryan had brought. We were drunk and high and bored. It was freezing at the time, but we couldn't even feel it when we went outside. I don't even remember going there, but eventually we were at the top of the cliff that overlooks the lake in front of the manor. The water was deep and it wasn't frozen over yet. Ryan wanted to go cliff diving. He didn't think twice or say anything, he just jumped off of the cliff. Finn and I were only vaguely aware of what was happening. I heard my name being screamed after Ryan jumped." He could remember so clearly the way Tristan had screamed his name, he hadn't heard anyone scream with such fear before that night.

"Tristan had seen us leave and followed. When he saw Ryan jump he'd been just far enough away to not be able to differentiate him from me. Tristan thought that I jumped off the cliff and he jumped in after without thinking. I called the security team of the manor for help, but it took me a long time because I was so intoxicated. I think Finn took the phone from me and dialed himself. When Tristan and Ryan didn't come up right away I started to panic. Finn was more sober than I was and held me back from jumping in after Tristan. Tristan eventually came back up, but he was having difficulties swimming in the freezing water and he was still searching for me. I yelled down to him, but he didn't hear me. The security team got there quickly, but it took them time to rescue him. I remember him moving slower and slower until he was barely above the water. The water was freezing and Tristan had gone into hypothermic shock. Ryan was found in the lake the next morning. Tristan almost died several times that night. He had been wearing shorts, he hadn't been preparing to go outside. His legs suffered severe frostbite and eventually had to be amputated. It took nearly a year for him to fully recuperate physically." Cain was stating at an empty spot on the floor, though he was seeing a cold January night quite clearly.

Eventually he looked back up at Malia. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. He could only imagine what she thought of him now.

"So now you know. I think I'm going to go for a run." Cain said as he stood. He couldn't sit there and have her feel sorry for him, he didn't deserve anyone's pity. He walked into the bedroom and changed into athletic pants and tennis shoes. As he passed her on his way to the front door she was still sitting in the recliner, it looked like she was going to say something right before he went through the door and broke into a steady run.