All Comments on 'The Reluctant Lesbian Ch. 01'

I'm not getting much of a sense of reluctance, from either the protagonist (of bring a lesbian) not from myself (of being an enthusiastic reader!).

May we have more, please?

I think that you need another character in this story or have more of a build up. You need to make it longer. Good though!!!

"Most of these bitches are dumb and ugly" "and fatties. And psychos" "I'm not talking about you though" It's hard to keep an interest with such an unlikeable character.

I agree with the other comment that the main character does not seem reluctant.

Thanks for your comments, I agree with all of the criticisms too. Especially the 'dumb psycho fat bitches' comment that Kathryn makes. Unfortunately, I've been on dates with bi-curious women who have thought and said such things, but none of us lesbians like to hear them, and it's not worth losing you as a reader. Wish I could edit this without losing all your votes. I'll have to republish the whole thing, edited with feedback from your comments, when it's done. Thanks again for taking the time to let me know what works and what doesn't.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Don't keep us waiting!

OK, here's the deal, I'm rewriting this to take out some of Kathryn's harshness (which would have killed the date for me) and change some of the physical details. I also have a plot twist in mind so that the reluctant lesbian of the title has not yet been identified - there's another one hiding somewhere ;) we have a few more characters to meet, and a few more situations. Thanks for sticking with it.

I actually appreciated the harshness of Kathryn's character with that line. To me, it made her a little more real. Being someone who used to frequent the online dating world I found that after awhile I got a bit cynical with the women/men I would meet online and it was a HUGE relief to meet someone I was attracted to who lived up to their profile. So, reading her apparent relief of finding a hottie who was real made it a bit more realistic to me. Yes, that harshness could kill many a date, lesbian or no, but I thought the character handled it well and moved on. I took it as more of a case of thinking out loud, slip of the tongue kind of thing than actual rudness.

Anyways, I like the viewpoint of the story and the direction it's going, well written all the way around. Also really appreciated the the mutual orgasm with the nipple/clit play, quite original, which I really liked, as many stories are wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Will be looking forward to more and thanks for sharing thus far!

I'm trying to see if I can please everyone here and still get to arousing hug. Can you tell me what you think of this instead? Thanks beta readers.--

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"Really," I said. (I was probably flushing with pleasure.) "Have you had some bad experiences with the Reader ad?"

"Most of the women I’ve met are fat or ugly!" Kathryn laughed. That turned me off a bit, and I must have looked away. Kathryn noticed.

"I don't mean to sound like a jerk. It's just that, have you tried dating people you’ve never seen before?"

"No. This is my first date, or whatever, in four years," I said.

"Well, let me just warn you then, people lie about themselves and their looks. There are a lot of dogs out there," she said. "And psychos."

I began to cry, feeling personally wounded by Kathryn's rejection of lonely, unloved, unattractive women, the majority of whom probably made up the world. Now I was one of them too. It was all too much. I wasn't what men liked to call 'stable' at the moment.

"Hey, I'm not talking about you, ok?" Facing me, she took my hands in hers. etc.

One comment on the public feedback and that from an Anonymous, not sure what you've had privately. My opinion is there is no need to change what she said. Plenty of people say that sort of stuff in real life whatever their preference. To me this is fiction, and more importantly your story, if people don't like it they will stop reading. Nothing you can do about that you can't please everyone :) I loved it by the way. Thanks for sharing

Thanks for your opinion, I really appreciate it. The thing is, I'm concerned that I'm hearing mostly good stuff from men and bi women, and the gay women are either silent or I've lost them. This is just my sense, and what I'm trying to theoretially fix, along with all other story suggestions that seem good. Since it's fiction, I can make it whatever works best. This is a pretty yummy safe-space story, so even to me, the harsh original language seems out of place, and I wondered if it was as I wrote it. It's fiction so it can be anything. Love it. Thank you! Please keep feedback coming. I'm learning.

The thing you have to remember is the comments made by the character in question where made as a person, not as a lesbian. Man, woman, bi, gay/lesbian, straight, it doesn't matter, because those thoughts go through anybody's mind as a human being who's ever dated by online/telephone. Besides, look at how this story is rated, currently 4.28 stars out of 5. That's a fantastic rating and if lesbians thought they were being alienated, this story would certainly not be rated as high as it has. I have noticed on this site that if people of a particular group feel they are being treated unfarily they rate the story poorly. That obviously is not the case here. :)

Another thing you are going to need to understand as an author is that you are always going to offend someone with your work. There is no way around it, as you can't please everybody all the time. lol...Trust me when I say this, if you attempt to do so you will go absolutely insane, because it's futile. So long as your characters actions stay true to the character you will be fine and I certainly feel that's the case with this story. So in the words of the great Bobby McFerrin, "Don't worry, BE HAPPY!". lol..and please, for the love of God, get chapter 2 up so that we can see where the heck this all goes! =-P

Thank you Swifthawk...I've been working on it, even through Labor Day Weekend...almost done...I think you're gonna like it ! Also got my book cover done for the Amazon Kindle version. You guys are helping me shape my stories for publication. Why not. :) Thank you!! What do you all think of the name 'Sienna Wilder'. Is it gay enuf for ya? It's not very gay but I like it.

It seems to take Literotica about a week to approve and put my stories up , sorry about that. Maybe it's just the lesbian genre that takes a while - poems seem to go up in 24 hours.

I was briefly alarmed that there didn't seem to be a Ch. 02, but I think I saw something like it under your listing.

The only thing I didn't like about this story was that it was too short.

Please keep writing. You have talent that should be nurtured and expressed.

That's the way you're going to END THE STORY😢😢😢😢😭😭😭. WHAT A SHITTY ENDING. Damn sure a good love story though....

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 dozen roses and 5🌟's