All Comments on 'The Rescue Pt. 01'

Would you please drop everything and finish the story...your killing me smalls!

I'm going to need you to finish this....immediately!!!

Just wanted to say that since I can only rate it a five.

The story is finished I'm just uploading in digestible chunks. Part 2 is pending.

Thank you all for reading, voting and commenting. I'm stunned at this response.

Seriously good writing! The backstory works, and the characters have some depth, in a limited volume of words. It's captivating. And somehow it reads as though the writing was effortless-- I mean, as though the writer was completely relaxed. It's just that smooth, I don't know how else to describe it.

Thanks for sharing.... and please continue.

By all rights, this should be cool-guy, eye-roll-city. But you somehow manage to make it work. I think you owe it to your great characterization. Can't wait to read the rest, and whatever else you write!

Enjoying the story but 2 things sort of stuck out and took me out of the narrative momentarily:

1) What is Justin doing in SC (and how did he get there so fast)? After surviving his ordeal he makes it to "civilization" and immediately jets to someplace where he knows absolutely no-one? Lacking any other explanation, he's only there because the author wanted him there.

2) CIA guy Trent picks Ken up at the airport, drives him into town, has a 10 minute convo then tell him he has to hurry back to the airport. Trent probably could have secured a room closer to the airport for that convo. Possible explanations: a) Trent's simply a dick and wanted Ken to jump through his hoops b) Trent's an idiot and didn't think of "a" or c) different airports, different directions relative to town. (Civilian and military often have separate airports, but they quite often share runways as well). No idea which was the case here.

I'm surprised that your stories have such high ratings. If there's one HUGE no-no in writing, it's that an author should never write in present tense. I literally couldn't get past the first few paragraphs before giving up trying to read this story. Everything should be written in past tense. states = stated, thinks = thought, shout = shouted, etc...

Present tense adds urgency to the story and that gives it a 5 from me.

Oh, sorry, for those who didn't get that, I meant "Present tense added urgency to the story and that gave it a 5 from me."

BTW, as a Brit, using 'drug' instead of 'dragged' was a new one on me.

I like the present tense also.

Great story so far but please do all us former military types a favor and quit referring to the magazines as "clips". The last military rifle to have "clips" was the M-1 Garand. Semi-auto pistols are magazines or mags as are M-4s, mp-5s, etc. Yes stripper clips are used to load the magazines but not to shoot from. So please, please no more talk of "clips".😏

why is she in Africa? I thought she was going to Australia for a shark research?

Dragunov - not Dragonov.

His family based on dragoons - russian mounted infantry.

Thanks from Russia/

Ok story so far to preface was a little sketchy, some winder why she was in Africa after doing research in Australia, the guy she worked with in Australia went to Africa and she went with him for whatever reason. Our hero should have gotten his buddies to meet him over there but a guy in love? What can I say.

The slut Michelle loved him then ran off after one kiss to play house with a premed in Aus then Senegal.

And dickie boy SEAL runs to save said slut

some are jumping to conclusions, our heroine is not a slut! Keep reading, the rescue moves on......................

Wow!. Well done. You've got me sucked in from the beginning. Looking forward to the series.

How does Michelle being a marine biologist suddenly qualify her to be a doctor or nurse on some Peace Corps expedition?

"You're friend there talks a little too much, if you ask me."

'You're' is short for 'you are'!

Another story with a massive SIMP?

Thanks to the list of “Similar Stories” which I clicked on after finishing another story, I find myself grateful to have stumbled upon this story and author. I enjoyed this first chapter and am looking forward to the rest of the story. Thank you.

You need to get an editor. So many grammatical mistakes, missing adjectives, mixing tenses... Hard to follow without repeating several times.

I'm beginning to love your Ken Grayson stories. These I feel are not for Literotica. You could easily join this story and "Don't look like a seal" and make them into a full fledged mainstream novel. Could have sold well. Maybe even made into a movie.