by sarahloveitt
why did you write this story twice in one submission? all in all it was a great reunion and it made me wet. keep up the good work.
There should have been anger, maybe even building to hate, at her perceived abandonment, especially since those emotions would have been nurtured by her mother and grandmother. Even if those feelings may have faded over time, there would have been deep-seated resentment. Perhaps she may have looked up her father to vent that resentment and gain some closure.
Upon finding out about the long-term deception by her mother and grandmother, those feelings of anger and resentment, at the very least, should have been reawakened and transferred to them. That would have made for some interesting confrontations, but instead, you presented us with a flat, lifeless scenario.
Finally, finding out that her mother's cheating started the dissolution of her happy family should have caused some sort of feeling against the causes of her unhappiness, but there was none of that. Instead, she doesn't give a second thought to her mother's role in the huge upheaval of her young life, but decides to seduce her father at the risk of breaking up his father again. In addition, the father apparently didn't learn any lesson from his first failed marriage, and is willing to risk losing another family without a moment's consideration.
The error of the repeated block of text was minor, compared with the huge lack of realistic response on the characters' parts.
I thought the background was just sufficient to explain the outcome of the encounter. Why do we a full psychiatric examination of her case? She was just getting her own back on her mother! Great little story.
I disagree with your critics, they always get in on the act, ignore them. Your story was realistic and erotic. A little more doubt and hesitation about committing incest would have been nice, but it's such a relief to read something other than the badly written stories where Dad and daugther fuck without any plot.
Keep it up!