All Comments on 'The Revelation on the Back Deck'

and consummation

A really nice story, but agree with the previous reviewer, it needs a sequel where they do it for real.

Diseased whore mom stories aren't hot

Still written well ****

What is your issue? Clearly has issues with strippers.

I would have given you a 4 but since this was a dream you get a 1. Fail!

When in the tenth grade my teacher gave a creative writing assignment. She added one special rule to the assignment, "if your story ends with it being a dream you automatically fail." The reason for this of course is that making it a dream twist is over done, cheap, and most of all feels like a cop-out. Now if you were to end a part one on it being a fantasy then it's not bad since the reader knows it's still going somewhere, but ending on a dream feels week.

I would note that aside from that one glaring issue that is was a pretty good story. I was enjoying myself up until the ending. I would encourage you to keep writing, just just avoid fatal flaw listed above.

What I learned that in the real world there are no rules, only preference ... school is just for training if creative writing is your goal ... there is no correct way to tell another persons story fiction or not ... what is the purpose of the story? If it to get someone off then it has done its job. If it doesn't get the others off, its just a matter of preference.

This was a great story to get the blood pumping (and anything else), and it doesn't matter if it was a dream sequence, after all these are all STORIES not real ilfe drama.

5/5

winded down?

Wound.

then dived into his meal?

Dove.

Man, I tell you, you hillbillies know how to trash a good story with poor usage.

You need an editorto take a 3/5 to a 5/5.

I really enjoyed the ending. I thought it took a lot of creativity to make it believable. Thanks for very enjoyable story.

The anonymous jerk of 04/03/17 who commented on your grammar should do some studying himself. "Dove" is perfectly acceptable as past or past participle of "dive". See any decent dictionary.

"Dived" is perfectly acceptable, too.

Had me surprised when it was a dream

So does Scott get to go to the college of his choice or not? Maybe we'll find out in chapter 2? ;-)

Thanks for a fun read!

It seemed to escalate very fast but dreams are like that. Well done

Write a sequel to make this a dream come true

love to see her take her son to a strip club where he gets to see her dance for men then he watches the men fuck her in the VIP room maybe he joins or not? maybe one of the men sees him watching and makes him taste his mothers wet pussy on his cock and sucks it clean as mommy watches.

It could use a sequel but not necessarily. The dream was a nice hook, no more hackneyed than a pie in the face comedy routine.

what a scum of the earth slut. I wouldn't fuck that whore for anything. probably has every disease in the book...

Well written and very entertaining read. Thanks for sharing

This story was not a dream, it was more like a trip to the TWILIGHT ZONE. Not a bad read nice job. THANKS

I liked the way you put this story together. It was very realistic and enjoyable to read. Finally, ignore the gramma Nazis and please consider writing another chapter for this interesting tale.

not into whore stories

An unusual story but I enjoyed it. The length that the father and mother went to support their son was beautiful. Although fantasy, the like that the son was mature enough to understand and accept, without reservation, the extent the mother went to support her mother, her son and herself. This story rated 5 stars.

Nice story you need to continue with more!

Awesome story you need to continue with more to let the dream come true although its been long time!!!!!!!!!!!

A very sweet story, I enjoyed it. It's nice to read something nice :)

Don't write anymore, let it be the end... a smart man has had enough :-)