All Comments on 'The Royal Garden Ep. 02'

Such a powerful chapter. Another chapter soon, please!

I feel like the episodes in my other series, The Practice, were often too long. For this series I'm really trying to keep each part to 2k-3k words. This part has already broken that limit very slightly. I strongly considered splitting this into two parts: one part with Orchid hanging out with Genthi and then being groomed by the Gardener, and one part in the throne room. I eventually decided that I wanted to move the story forward faster, so I combined those three events into a single part. I think it works pretty well.

I was really looking forward to writing the throne room scene. I wanted to have some story purpose behind the humiliation because I think it adds depth to the emotions Orchid experiences. Turning her into a whipping girl (literally) for all the nobility who spent blood and treasure to conquer Delance felt powerful to me. It also demonstrates to the reader that the stakes are high if she is discovered: everyone will be pretty pissed if she isn't the conquered princess she is thought to be.

Is Orchid's position non-consensual or "merely" reluctant? Well, she obviously doesn't want to be enmeshed with this conspiracy -- she wants to be off studying magic. So to that degree, she definitely doesn't consent. However, I also want to show her gradual acquiescence to her duty to help her country. As Genthi says, lots of people give their lives for their country, even against their will if there's a draft... is Orchid's situation worse than theirs? Is she in a worse spot than her brother who is in combat?

There are either one or two more parts in Act 1. I'm pretty sure I know what happens in the next two parts, but I'm not sure yet when the Act 1 turn will happen. Part of the fun of writing a serial story is that you get to discover what happens as you go along!

And my twopence worth is that it would have been a big mistake to split this chapter.

Both parts flowed together nicely. It is also nice to read a story that has a decent chapter length as it helps continuity. It's easier to remember the previous chapters when more has happened.

You are in the right category.

Your writing style is very good, very readable. The chapter length is fine, in fact it could be a little longer. This chapter works very well, and I think you made the right decision not to split it up. I really like your characters, and your world building is intriguing.

I think Orchid's situation is most definitely non-con. She does not consent to anything, but she is aware of her sense of duty. It is clearly motivating her, the fact that she acknowledges that her brother is risking his life and she can do no more underlines it. She would be well within her rights as an unwilling participant of this plot, to use her magic to lash out, I like the way she considers this, especially when the humiliating assault begins. It makes her seem more human. (It also made me angry with the cup bearer and his apprentice for not giving her even a slight hint of what was going to happen. Even foot soldiers get that much of a warning).

As for the scenes with the king, very well written. You skate a line of erotic reluctance and force extremely well. Humiliation definitely isn't my thing, and I found Orchid's reactions quite believable. For me, there was no doubt that despite her body's physical reactions, she is not enjoying the experience. I am so glad you didn't resort to the magic dick; using the cushion as a physical stimulant is a great idea. Also, having the king suggest it, along with his not-so-butal actions, hint that despite the show he is putting on for the baying crowd, maybe isn't the unworthy, thuggish brute Orchid initially thought he was.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Julez.

Hmmm, wonder why anybody would want to kill the lecherous old slut. Hope she teams up with the murderer. Or maybe she should fuck the prince as well and compare their cocks every time they have elderly guests over. When the guests act mortified, she should just laugh and say "Oh well, beggars can't be chooses. At least I'm still alive". Then team up with the murderer.

This is going to be a scream when the real princess shows up and demands to get planted. Will shutup now. Looking forward to chapter 3. And yes, any shorter will be far too short for comfort.

I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE TO EVERYONE ELSE ABOUT THE CHAPTER LENGTH, ANY SHORTER AND IT WOULD F BEEN TOO SHORT. The sad thing about 2-3K's are that the moment you begin to get into it, its over...tear. I can't wait for the next chapter, I very intrigued by the development of this story. There are so many ways you can tale this and I am very excited in finding out how all this will end. Loving the sexty 50ish king....lol

Thanks for your feedback on episode length. I just submitted episode 3, and it's about 2500 words, so shorter than this one. I feel my tendency was to be overly wordy, so I am trying to be more concise. One episode can really only sustain one sexual sequence and one or two expository/investigation sequences... I think.

Part of my reluctance to go longer in these earlier episodes is that I feel that the heroine is very passive in Act 1. Act 1 is all about the setting, characters, and introducing the conflict, but Orchid doesn't really have much *agency* yet. So, maybe I'm keeping these parts shorter so that the overall story can get to the meat more quickly. I really want Orchid to have *more* agency *sooner* than Hannah did in The Practice.

And yes, the Cupbearer and his apprentice could have been more forthcoming. I'm sure that will come up when Genthi is back on the scene, probably in episode 4.

Julez, thank you for your feedback on the humiliation scene. It will be interesting to learn more about the King as we go.

I think this is noncon as opposed to reluctance. The use of force and threat of harm are all that kept her in place. That’s noncon.

I think the deflowering went too fast actually. In the span of one sentence she went from pain to pleasure on her deflowering and that just doesn’t work at all. If you’re trying to portray her as a previously unknown masochist, those feelings should have been explored a bit more. Whether her arousal came from being whipped, or being penetrated she was in pain, was humiliated, shocked, etc, so the transmutation of pain to pleasure was rushed, IMO.

Lastly, this chapter did not convey Orchid’s gradual acceptance and buy in of her role in uncovering the spy. And by the way that is an excellent plot point for a noncon story! Very original! She submitted passively to being whipped and deflowered but there was nothing that conveyed her buy in to find the spy.

I know this is an older story but that shouldn’t stop people from commenting. I don’t know why people stop commenting on older stories.