All Comments on 'The Sacrifice'

This was really lovely.

Unique and beautiful! A great start!

But for a sheltered virgin, she has an colorful vocabulary. And somebody somewhere must have known something to not only have these maidens keep showing up as well as a delivery ship. Finally, if both world wars were a result of a maiden being delayed, how come they weren't hundred years apart?

It is a very sweet story, but you need to work on the details. Keep writing!

I agree with what " Suggestion" said, you need to work on your timeline. You need to do another chapter at lease, to explain who was the one he loved, which you briefly mentioned. Also, will he become mortal for Brianna or will she become immortal? Something to think about if there really is a next chapter.