All Comments on 'The Sanguine Chronicles Ch. 01'

Thanks for the start of a good story well written. You probably finished in a hurry because the only weakness was the need for editing in the final paragraphs.

Hi JonTaylor - thanks so much for your feedback. Yeah, I was absolutely horrified when I saw the issues in the final paragraphs. I've made the corrections, now I just need to figure out how to upload them - I'm having issues. Until then - please see the revised paragraphs below:

He appeared at the window and put his hands on the ledge as he glared over the village. Even from a distance and in the dark she could make out the piercing green of his eyes, could see their feral nature. And on one hand, gleaming in the light of the moon, was the black stone ring.

She thrust the back of her hand to her mouth to stifle the frightened and anguished gasp that bubbled from her lips. But it was too late. With the swiftness of an eagle, his gaze snapped in her direction. She shrank behind the windowpane as he surveyed the wide swath of land that belonged to the Antonov estate.

She could no long see him, tucked a she was behind the ragged curtain of their humble shack, but she could feel his eyes. She knew that he couldn’t see her, but he sensed her presence.

A voice – his voice – carried on the wind and whispered through her mind, and though he spoke the old language she understood implicitly.

‘I will find you, Ahlia. Soon.”

nice beginning... very interesting can't wait until the next installment

Masterfully done.