by Ringabel
Scary but charming story, at first i was abit angry. But as i read on, he never really hurt anyone. A bit immoral perhaps, but he was nice and it seems most changes was for the better..
You are a legitimately talented writer. This was a wonderful story, even if it ends here. Thank you for writing.
The develpement in your story is astonishing. Please keep writing, i love it! Your style of writing is very good and descriptive, i want to read how that story continues.
At one point, I started to forget about the sex and just enjoyed the storytelling. Keep it on, this is the good stuff that we need.
When I looked at your author story page, I was shocked. One would normally only see this level of quality from an author that has had 50 + stories. But, as your first story...?
Phenomenal.
I, for one, am going to be keeping a close eye on you, and any new works you may happen to produce.
And, as allways,
Thank you for the chapter.
The nastiness of your "hero" has not come out yet. I am interested to see where this goes. Well done for a first effort.
Not enough sex. The part where they have sex is too short.
If you could develop your sex scenes in future chapters it would be great.
Apart from that the rest is amazing. His power is both original (sculting) and already seen (body modification) and you worked it out perfectly. He doesn't use it for sex (or if he did you'll have to tell us about it) but to make women beautiful.
Your storyline is good too, you don't spend time about how he discovered his power but you focus on what he did with it before beginning the story.
Great work and I can't wait for chapters 2, 3, 4,..., 873.
This is just my opinion and everyone is entitled to their own, but I had no problem with the brief sex. The hottest part for me was her reaction to everything. What's going on in her head (and to a lesser degree his) is more interesting than descriptions of physical actions.
I also like the pushing of boundaries. It's always a good twist when the 'victim' pushes the instigator further.
Anyway, great job! Added to my faves.
This story was amazing and I can't wait for there to be more. Time stop and body modification are some of my favorite topics to read about. The sex part was short but it didn't need to be long, the rest of it was just good story telling. I'm so excited to follow this series!
...be criminal to stop here. Even extending this story a bit would be a great gift to the community.
It's always the engineers that figure it out, but I think it was a master stroke to join the two characters as a team and, obviously, as lovers.
So, she figured out enough to demand a full explanation and find him. She gets off on what he does and loved the kinky bits.....gets off like never before.....and wants to help.
There simply must be more to this story.
One thing..l.please take a bit more care with person, number and tense in your writing. Maybe some editorial help would lighten your load.
Stories this good deserve the extra effort on the clerical bits to remove any/all distractions in the technicals.
Some additional effort in characterization will naturally fill out your characters as real people and help us more thoroughly engage with them....but, even now, you've done a great job with just observation and dialog.
Thank you for this....one of the best and most imaginative stories I've ever had the privet age to read in Literotica.
Please, please, PLEASE continue.
Good job! I did enjoy this, as it was expertly done; a good small plot that I was able to follow while making me feel for Erika. I do hope the next chapter keeps on with this, but I also do hope you expound on the relationship and the use of the powers. Maybe there is someone else like him. Or Erika gets the powers by being around him. Or this is a gift from some deity for some past event or future event that will occur. Either way, well done.
I'm new to this site. Loved your story. It had some of my favorite themes and had a slight uniqueness to it I haven't seen elsewhere. I've just submitted my first story as well (publication pending). You may find we write with similar styles.
Genuinely the best story I've read on Literotica. Not just the kinkiness but the prose and characterisation of the main character. I'm not going to use protagonist because the main character's actions are doubtlessly immoral if largely well intentioned. Please don't do a TidakSense on me and disappear.
Makes you think, makes you wonder. Looking forward to the next chapters.
I like where you'very been and where you can go with this story. A romance and fantasy at the same time, how intriguing.
This has the potential to be one of the best, filthiest stories on here - please keep it up.
Love the story and I love the potential.
Eventually, however, there is going to appear an omnipotent being who is tired of the world stopping and starting... and they'll put an end to it.
This is one of the best (written) stories I have read so far. This fantasy is simply amazing. I absolutely loved it. I can't wait to start reading chapter two, and can only hope there will be many more!
My only thought is will he sculpt me into a woman like Erika. Make me a fully gentic femal sex toy.
The concept is terrific and original. The general thrust of the plot is engaging and fun. The amount of exposition bogs the pace down in the middle - I almost bailed at the halfway point - but the payoff in the final third made me glad I stuck it out. The ending even made me want more. 4 stars but a re-write could make it a 5 star story.
Some have commented on not enough sex or too slow of a pace. I think it works, even though I also was wondering when the sex would happen, when it did it was worth the wait.
If he was just fucking every woman he could, it would also lose the originality the story seems to have right now.
Can't wait to read more! Loving it!