All Comments on 'The Spirit Girl'

This author needs to either get an editor or do a far better job of proof reading. The terms at times are screwed up and improperly used; like as in "co-ed" to mean a female student the proper one is "coed" where as the previous is mixed male-female group.

When the hell are the authors/eiditors going to do a decent job?

Like that previous commenter said...I think the author should be strung up in the rafters by his thumbs and whipped. How terrifying that an amateur author in an amateur sight would spell coed as co-ed. I just couldn't finish the story after that....What is this world coming too.??? Seriously I liked it and gave it a 5.

well there were a number off mistakes. i found the story to be well thought out in both plot and character enough to ignore the mistakes. very well written keep up the good work.

From Dictionary.com

co-ed  /ˈkoʊˈɛd, -ˌɛd/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [koh-ed, -ed]

–noun 1. a female student in a coeducational institution, esp. in a college or university.

–adjective 2. coeducational (def. 1).

3. of, pertaining to, or being a coed or coeds: coed fads.

4. for or serving both men and women alike.

It would seem all you smartasses didn't bother to see that co-ed and coed are both acceptable. Next time don't be so damn nitpicky and offer CONSTRUCTIVE critcism.

A friend of mine used to say: "If you find a mistake, you may keep it"

Who cares about inferior mistake in grammar while reading one of the best and most erotic - in case you don't know the meaning grab a dictionary - stories I came across in ages!! I simply loved the story, enjoyed the characters and felt the emotions depicted. It's easy to fix grammar and spelling mistakes, but it's almost impossible to fix a bad story - although it might be written with perfect spelling and grammar.

I'd advise you to keep on writing stories and let the "grammar police" do the grammar as they don't seem willing to prove their ability to offer a good story themselves. There is a reason for having writers and critics in the world... the first create something, the later envy them and can't stand the success of the first. Just keep writing and posting, Doc

Best regards, MaitreNuit

I'm not sure I could match this story and I sure don't think the nitpickers can. Beginning to the end seemed well plotted and well described; all those thousands of words and someone tries to shoot it down because of a perceived error they didn't check on is not a good reflection on them.

good story, good characters and funny lines please more

Great job, DrSqueaky!

Dr Squeaky, you deserve the prize, no doubt about it. As for the grammar, "buy" for "but", "phased" for "fazed"--so what? Yeah, a copy edit would have been good, but no copy edit will make a bad story good, and the minimal errors you left it couldn't make a great story bad. A thrashing big 5 from me, Dr.

More plot twists on the way I'd imagine ....

5 stars well deserved.

Sorry, but I just don't like Samantha at all. And Dave seems too passive and needy. Basically, I don't care what happens to either of them, unlike in your other Franchise story, which had much more interesting and engaging leads.

I hate girls that return to guys even when they know they are just going to get hurt again. If you try to pet a dog and it bites you, hey you didn't know. But if you try to pet again and it bites, shame on you, you fucking retard.

Two commenters who can't find sympathy for anyone unless they've lived perfect or essentially non-existent lives BEFORE they ever started dating or made any kind of actual commitment to each other.

It gets so tiring to see the "burn the bitch" crowd from the LW category dredge through other story categories to find more catalysts to activate their often self-righteous bile. Sorry guys, the grotesque idea that a woman you know and WANT to date is unworthy if she slept with anyone before you even asked her out isn't asserting an ethical principle, it's misogyny, pure and simple. Unless you happen to be a cloistered monk; and then why are you looking for a date, brother?

And being cautious doesn't make you wimpy. In my experience it usually makes you the guy left standing when most others have "crashed and burned".

This was a sweet story about two imperfect people who decided to try to be better for each other, and be better supporting each other. That's good enough for me.

excellent. part 2?

I wanted Dave to end up with Jenna in the beginning, Sam may have been the prettiest, but she clearly cared more about getting with Marshall.

also sam is a slut 1st degree and WILL eventually cheat. NO amount of money would I trust that skank. Jenna should have been the girl of the story...

A rubbish game played by bean poles with no brains.

He should have had some standards and not gone for the slut. So he was physically attracted to her doesn't mean he should have followed up that attraction. I want Dave and Jenna to get together.

Where is the love triangle? Dave thinks about Marshal while having sex with Sam...is that a spoiler?

You should remove the love triangle tag, because there isn't one in this story. Lame.

But I too was hoping he would end up with Jenna even though Samantha finally broke up with that jerk she is a real full on submissive and constantly going back to him when he demanded. If I was Dave, I would be very very wary. I only hope it turns out well for him in the end.