All Comments on 'The Story of A - Ch. 01: Firsts'

You've made her pov strong. The detail and descriptions pull the reader in. The limited detail about him is good at this point as it emphasizes her experience. You created the back story perfectly, with nessessary information, sparingly told and woven in across the chapter. It has intensity and sanity - an erotic combination. I look forward to more and hope you keep it away from the crazy cliffs so many toss their stories over.

so when you say that what you've written here is journaling, based on your real recent experience, I believe you, and to my way of thinking, a lot of what works best here springs from that fact.

That being so, it's important to say that this kind of writing follows somewhat different rules than story writing does. So I hope you will follow your instincts, which seem sound, and not get too worried about the cliffs others warn you about, assuming in so doing, that you are, in fact, simply trying to write a story here, after all.

For a novice writer this is one of the finest introductions to a true gist for writing that I have seen in many a year.

Well-paced, with an excellent use of language, this story is quite exceptional -- especially for a beginner!

Very well done -- five stars and a favourite.

Agree with other comments. Hot and real. Thank you.

An excellent start. Very well written - very hot! Was drawn straight in within the first cuple of sentences. Really hope there is lots more to follow. Thank you! 5*

Jules

The wonderful and encouraging comments have been so nice to read. I am so glad that this is being enjoyed. Thank you, thank you.

Great to watch - better to have a journal/diary view! Very hot!!!