All Comments on 'The Story of Elaine Ch. 01'

thanks for taking the time and making the effort to read: I take that as positive!

This story needs serious editing. First, after writing it, put it down for 1-3 days then read it carefully. Don't skim or speed read it. Try to put away the idea that you know the story! There are missing words, some of which are kinda important, others can be completed from context, but you don't want to aggravate the readers! There are a number of perspective (POV) shifts but the worst one is very near the end .

With the proviso re editing, you have made a good start, erotic but within the bounds of the marraige though the word slut wife bothers me as to where you may be going with the story. The word slut has no meaning inside marraige unless outsiders are being brought in. Nothing done between a husband and wife that is mutually agreed on and is within the consent of both parties denotes a slut in any way

You are a jokE

Who made you a.master Jimmy? Master, like bull, is a self aggrandizing title taken by a terminally pathetic man.