The Strangeness Within Pt. 01

"Oh?" Mr. Daniels asked with keen interest. But Father looked nervous and didn't say any more.

"It's really Esther's decision, Mr. Thompson," the woman said quietly, looking at her intensely.

She glanced at Father. But she agreed with him. She didn't trust this pair, not the way she'd trusted the professors. She'd take her chances with financial aid.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't think I can accept."

Mr. Daniels sighed. "Do you mind if I use the bathroom?"

While he disappeared, Ms. Jackson shook her head sadly. "Let's postpone the little presentation," she said. "Let you think about it a few more days. I think you've gotten the wrong idea about us. But you must decide soon, or we will extend the offer to the next candidate. We'd much prefer you."

"I don't think my decision will change," said Esther.

Mr. Daniels returned, and Ms. Jackson shook her head. They shared a look before nodding politely and heading out into the night.

Father sat heavily on the couch and didn't say anything for a long time. Esther moved next to him.

"I'm so sorry," he said eventually. "I've made a terrible mistake."

"No," said Esther. "You were right. This was a bad deal, and not anything I wanted."

Father looked at her, and to her shock she saw he was crying. She knew he did that sometimes, but except for Mother's funeral he'd always hidden it from her.

"Not about the scholarship," he said. "I shouldn't have let you take that exam at all. I was so proud of you, but pride can be a terrible thing."

Esther shook her head in confusion, waiting for him to explain.

"When the man asked about Virginia," he said. "Did you see the way he already knew? All that information you were filling out, they already knew all of it. They knew about your mother. They had already done their little background check, but were pretending for our benefit. Sarah always warned, but I was --"

He broke down crying again, and Esther felt her stomach flip. Suddenly he stood up, taking her wrist in a painfully strong grip. He pulled her along, letting go when he got to the stairs. She climbed after him, rubbing her wrist. There was something terribly wrong.

He retrieved something from his dresser: a fat pouch, one she'd never seen before. With care he reached inside and pulled apart several layers at the bottom, revealing money. It seemed like a lot of it.

"If anything happens," he said. "You have to stay safe. You're the most important person in this whole world. Take this money, find people you trust, but just disappear. I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Father," she said. "You're scaring me."

He nodded unhappily, and she took a deep breath.

"I think you had better tell me everything now. How I came into your lives when I was eight. What really happened to the previous Esther, because I found the photos of her. She was a beautiful little girl."

Father let out a long sigh and looked off into the distance.

"She was our pride and joy," he said faintly. "We would have done anything for our baby girl. Just as we tried to do everything for you, our miracle child."

He put his hand on her cheek. "She died in an accident," he said. "Drowned while playing in the woods behind our house, back in Virginia.

"I'm so sorry," Esther said. Her father nodded and wiped away his tears.

"Your mother found her, and she was absolutely beside herself. I pulled our daughter's body from the creek, and the two of us just sat there with her for hours, trying to understand how we could go on. We already knew your Mother didn't have so many years left, and that she couldn't have another child of her own. I knew we had to do something about Esther's body, but your mother wouldn't leave her."

He sighed. "And then, by God's grace something happened that I'll never understand. There was a noise from the other side of the creek, and a child emerged from the woods. She looked nothing like Esther, but seemed about the same age. She was completely naked, and we could tell there was something unusual about her. But she seemed totally helpless, not even able to speak. It didn't take us long to understand that she was an angel. You were our miracle, and there was nothing we wouldn't do for you, Esther."

"I don't remember any of that," said Esther, and Father nodded.

"You began to speak again in a few days," said Father. "Like an older child, but with an odd accent. But you remembered nothing. We waited, telling everyone you were ill. Waited for someone to report the missing child. I buried our first Esther in the woods she loved so much. I think we already understood what we were going to do. And when no one claimed the child, we knew you were our special gift from God. We moved abruptly, several times, as you remember. And we raised you as our own daughter. Because you were, every bit as much as our first Esther."

She hugged her father tightly. "I understand," she said. "I understand why you didn't tell me. Why you knew I shouldn't be seen by doctors."

"Angels wither under a microscope," her father said sadly. "And there are devils in the world. I'm so worried about that pair. I should have seen it right away, but I was so proud. So terribly proud."

"It will be all right," she said. "I'll find a way to go to Stanford. Or I'll go to Grace College the way we planned. It will be all right. I'll stay away from those people."

Father smiled and stroked her hair, seeming unconvinced. But she knew it would work out somehow. She would have to break the news to Javier tomorrow, and they'd figure it out.

..........................*** Chapter 5 ***...........................

Javier finished flipping the eggs. He was getting good at this. It was nice to make both of them breakfast, on those days Mamá was rushing out in the morning as well.

The phone rang, and Mamá answered it.

"Slow down," she said sharply. "Esther. Have you called 911? Yes, sweetie, of course."

Javier dropped his spatula with a clatter as Mamá hung up with a scared look.

"Javier, it's her father," she said tensely. "Run there right away. I'll be right behind you."

He was out the door before even taking off his apron. He pounded on the Thompsons' door, but it was unlocked, so he rushed inside.

"Here," Esther called hysterically. "Help me. Yes, all right, I'll start again."

Esther was on the bed in her father's room. She had the phone on a long cord, and he realized she was awkwardly attempting CPR. Javier moved in to replace her. He'd gotten certified last year.

Her father's face was blotchy and grey, and he had no pulse. Horror rose as he tried to remember all the steps. Breathe, then pump. It was like doing it on a dummy. The skin of her father's lips was cool underneath his.

He heard his mother burst into the room, her breath coming as heavy as Esther's.

"That's good, Javier," Mamá said. "Here, let me talk to the people on the phone."

Javier filtered out her voice, Esther's panicked breaths, and just tried and tried. If he could just undo whatever had happened, breathe life back into his lungs. That was what CPR was supposed to do. Why wasn't it working?

"Javier," he heard distantly. "Javier." But he ignored Mamá, and she quieted.

Then there was a firm hand on his shoulder, pulling him away. A paramedic took his place, feeling for a pulse, checking other things. But he didn't try CPR.

"I'm so sorry," said another man shortly. A police officer. "He's been dead for hours. There's nothing to be done."

* * *

Javier sat with Esther on the floor against the wall. She looked so small, crumpled and shaking, and there was nothing he could do. Nothing at all could make this right.

Mamá was telling the police officer what she could. But they'd have to ask Esther some questions eventually. Even though the paramedic said it was likely a sudden heart attack. Nothing too unusual, not that it made it any less terrible.

Another man, some kind of doctor, had arrived to examine the body. After a few minutes he whispered something to the police officer.

"Ms. Thompson," the officer said, crouching down. He clearly was trying to be gentle. "Could you tell me if your father had a heart condition? Any prescriptions he was taking?"

She shook her head, gathering her breath. "Just vitamins, and some blood pressure medications. But it was only preventative. The doctors said he was doing fine, and he measured it at home. He was so healthy!"

"I know this is uncomfortable," the officer said. "But do you know about any other less-legal drugs he might have taken? Or cigarettes, alcohol use?"

Esther began to cry again. "He'd been drinking," she admitted. "Since Mother died. But I didn't think it was so much. He never seemed to overdo it."

The officer nodded, talked a bit more to the doctor, and then sighed.

"It was a massive heart attack," he said. "Sometimes they happen like this with no warning, and your father had some risk factors. He would have died quickly in his sleep, if that is any comfort."

Esther didn't say anything, so Javier just hugged her tight.

"Do you have any relatives we can contact, to help you?"

Esther shook her head.

"I guess we're pretty much her relatives," Mamá said. "We'll help with what needs to be done right now."

Javier was dimly aware of the way Mamá began to take over the organizing. At some point he and Esther were gently helped out of the room, to sit on the couch.

"He'd want to be buried with Mother," Esther said softly. "I'll give your mother the name of the nice man who organized that service. He took care of all the details, even though he didn't know us well."

Mamá came to ask Esther a few questions from time to time, and at some point she brought them plates with sandwiches. Javier looked up at his mother's reddened eyes, and he felt such love for her, and shame that he wasn't helping more. He jumped up and gave her a big hug.

"I love you so much, Mamá," he said, and he knew she understood.

The phone rang, for what seemed like the dozenth time. Javier had never understood how complicated it was when someone died. Mamá answered it again, but this time she sounded cross.

"I'm her neighbor," she said. "Can't this wait? Her father died overnight. Surely you can delay all that."

She huffed and listened a while.

"Fine," she said a little more politely. "I'll tell her. I suppose it might be a comfort. Yes, of course."

She came into the living room.

"The scholarship people called," she said. "I don't know exactly what they're talking about, but they said they could help you out. Move forward the internships, even help you get started early at college. Next semester, if you'd believe. I guess you really impressed them, but damn if they aren't in a rush for you to decide. You should take all the time you need, honey. You can stay with us in the meantime. They can stand to wait if they want you so much." She shook her head and went off to handle something else in the kitchen.

Esther suddenly went stiff against Javier, shaking so hard he thought she was having a fit.

"How did they know I was home?" she hissed. "I should be at school, and Father at work. Why didn't they wait a few more hours? Oh, Javier, I'm --"

She lurched up and rushed into her father's bedroom. Javier was thankful some people had removed the body already. She returned shortly with a purse of some sort, then ran right past him. Javier jumped up hurriedly to follow.

Esther didn't go far. He found her where he expected, sitting on their log and heaving with exhausted sobs.

"It's too horrible," she choked out. "It must be a coincidence. They couldn't have."

Javier stared at her in confusion. When she'd caught her breath the whole tale began spilling out, word for word, like a foul exhalation she couldn't expel quickly enough.

When she finally finished, Javier hugged her.

"I'm so glad you learned where you come from," he said. "Even if it doesn't answer all the questions. Your parents loved you so much."

But he felt cold all over. There was an ugly sense to Esther's fears, if there really were people in the world so vicious as to arrange something like it. Javier found that hard to believe.

"That pair, Jackson and Daniels," he said slowly. "What they were describing sounds like the National Security Agency. People talk about them in hushed tones, but they're supposed to be code-breakers. You know, spy stuff, but not the dangerous part of it. They probably really want you because you're brilliant, and they're probably creepy because they come from that world. It doesn't make sense for them to go around killing people, just because it might make it slightly easier to recruit someone. No matter how bright that someone is."

"You're right," said Esther. "Of course you're right. But I just keep thinking, Father was so worried, and Mother even more. What if it's not just about my math abilities. What if it's about -- what I am?"

Javier swallowed. He hadn't really thought about that. It was so hard to think of Esther as anything other than Esther. Special for who she was, not because she was a freak or something.

"Let's eat lunch," he said. "We'll think clearer after that."

* * *

While Esther used the bathroom, Mamá pulled Javier into a hug.

"How you holding up, mijo?" she asked. "I was so proud of you this morning. There was nothing you could have done, but I know how much that can sting."

He shook his head. "I'm managing," he said. "A lot better than Esther, anyway. But there's something complicated going on, Mamá. Esther is very frightened, and she has some good reasons to be. I want you to know that she's not the slightest bit crazy, and neither am I, even if I can't explain everything to you."

Mamá stared at him a long time.

"You're trying to protect me from something," she finally said. "My little boy. Oh, Javier, what is going on? Of course I know Esther is strange, that there was something odd about the whole family. What is this about?"

He shook his head, trying not to cry. Finally Mamá nodded sadly.

"You two were meant for each other," she said. "It's always been there in the way you talked about her, even when you couldn't see each other. I will always love you, and that means I'll always love Esther, because she's a part of you. And I'll always be here for both of you."

It sounded like a goodbye, which was strange and terrifying for Javier. But he realized Mamá had understood more than he'd said. That was exactly what he was so afraid of. Esther might have to disappear, and he would never leave Esther's side.

When Esther returned, he took her hand and led her to her bedroom. He couldn't help but squint his eyes at the odd new sketches plastered everywhere.

"Tell me again," he said. "We have to know for sure. Everything that either of them touched while they were here. Anything they picked up."

She did that, and he marveled as always at her perfect memory. But the two visitors had barely touched anything except the furniture.

"And then Daniels went to the bathroom," she said, and suddenly she stopped.

"Right after you each rejected their offer," he said slowly.

Esther clutched his hand. Together they walked to the bathroom, the one that had been used plenty of times that day. Was something poisoned? Were there about to be multiple unexplained deaths? That made no sense. Either they were paranoid, or it was a lot more devious than that.

"Don't touch anything," Javier said. "Just look, and try to remember. Is anything changed from yesterday? Especially something only your father would have touched?"

She stared, and he knew she would find it if there was anything to find. But she shook her head. "Just the soap, the towel, you know, the things everyone uses."

"What about inside a drawer or something?" he asked, not knowing whether to be relieved.

She nodded and pointed at the medicine cabinet. Javier took a piece of toilet paper and used it to carefully open the cabinet. He felt like he was in a crime TV show.

Esther blinked and sucked in her breath.

"His medicine," she whispered. "I saw it yesterday when I got a spare pack of tissues. Both bottles have been moved a little. He would have taken one pill last night, but there's no reason the other bottle would have been disturbed. He takes that one in the morning."

They stared at each other, the implications sinking in.

"Maybe he picked it up by accident," he said. "Or one of the people in here today was looking for something."

But they didn't really believe it.

"The police?" Esther asked. "That policeman was kind. If we could convince them to test the bottles ..."

"It's such an unlikely story," said Javier. "How could we ever explain it in a way they'd believe? And if it's true, even if we somehow convinced them to test the bottles, this Daniels is incredibly dangerous. He's connected to all that corporate money, and maybe some secret government agency -- oh, Esther, we have to be so careful. We can't let Mamá know any of this."

Esther nodded, shuddering and wiping her mismatched eyes.

"We have to pretend not to suspect anything," she said. "I'm upset, of course, and so are you, but that's to be expected."

"There might even be someone watching your house," he said. "But maybe not mine, at least not yet."

Before long, they had worked out a plan of sorts. It seemed so cloak-and-dagger. But better to err in that direction, thought Javier.

* * *

Mamá wanted to bring Esther back to their place for dinner, and for the night, but Esther insisted on cooking in her own kitchen.

"Something to take my mind off things," she said, and Mamá couldn't deny her that. So he and Mamá took directions from her during dinner preparation, and it was all surprisingly lighthearted. He was so glad Esther and his mother had this time to spend together, as short as he knew it would be.

"I want to stay here tonight," Esther said when they'd finished. "Really, it's all right."

"Then we will stay with you," insisted Mamá.

"I should go to school tomorrow," said Javier. "It's probably better if I stay at home. And more proper, too."

Mamá's head whipped around to stare at him. Of course she knew there was something going on. His eyes pleaded with her not to ask.

"Will I see you in the morning, then?" she finally asked, her voice breaking slightly.

"Yes, Mamá," he said. "And I'll come early enough to talk to Esther some more."

"All right," she said. "I guess it will be kind of fun. A girls' night for us, right, Esther?"

Esther wiped away a tear and nodded.

When he got home, Javier prepared everything as best he could. Some backpacks, a little old camping gear from years ago. All the easy packaged food he could find. Warm clothes, even some of his old clothes Mamá hadn't had the heart to throw out. They might fit Esther's tiny body. He bundled it all into the back of his beat-up old station wagon in the garage, the one he'd been so proud to buy and figure out how to keep running. He stared at the shabby pile of belongings, and on impulse tucked his favorite soccer ball into one of the bags. Then there was nothing to do but lie on his bed and wait.

He felt like he was plunging into a roiling dark sea, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. Esther was too important. And they would be jumping together.

* * *

Esther stretched and put down her book. Javier's mother looked up from her nest on the couch. They'd had such a nice evening, doing nothing but talking and reading and sitting together. Javier had stopped by briefly with the machine that helped his mother sleep, and it was almost as though he was intruding. Somehow Mrs. Sanchez knew exactly what Esther would be comfortable talking about, and never pressing about details of her childhood or anything like that. Whenever Esther had another crying fit, she'd brought her more tissues, and just sat next to her.