The Telling of Our Lifetime

The locker scene played out twice more as the week came to a close. Both times, I refused to say much more to her than I already had, after all, up until the library incident and being paired for this paper, she hadn't even acknowledged my existence. By Friday, Jacqui got smart and handed me back the card I had given her. I realized then, I had trapped myself.

It wasn't the attitude Jacqui, which came to me that Friday. She held my card in her hand and even then, was uncertain if I would live up to my word that I owed her. She was calling in that debt and was unsure I would agree to talk to her, I was trapped and I knew it.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, come to the base and we'll talk about this."

Jacqui visibly stiffened. She shuffled between each foot for a moment and then looked at me. The defiance in her eyes was barely keeping her anxiety at bay, when she said, "I don't date white boys."

I suppose I should have been angry with her, instead I just shook my head.

"A date requires two people who want to be together. This clearly isn't one of those cases."

Looking over Jacqui's shoulder, I watched Trina tap her watch and tilted her head towards the door, my bus was due and it wasn't going to wait. Nodding my head at Trina got me a smile and her pushing the door open ready for us to leave. Still smarting at her white boys comment, I simply couldn't resist my parting words as I brushed passed her.

"Enjoy summer school."

*******

"Martin there is someone at the door for you."

The call from my mom got a groan of acknowledgment before I rolled out of bed. She knew I was up because she heard the thud as I fell out of bed and onto the floor. Pulling on a top and shorts and heading for the stairs only to find the front door closed, confused me a little. When I looked into the kitchen, mom just shrugged and said that she was sitting on the porch swing. Even more confused, I took a look outside.

Jacqui was gently swinging on the seat. Her head instantly snapped towards the door when she heard it open. My head popped out of the house to see who it was. Trying hard to suppress a laugh, I walked up to her and sat on the rail of the porch. It was clear to see, even to a blind man that she did not want to be here.

"Ok, two dates. Absolutely no kissing and one of those dates you get to take me out to dinner."

I sighed and she picked up on it and looked at me. She caught me shaking my head, she watched in silence as I slid off the rail, telling her to wait there. When I returned from the house, I had trainers on and a couple of bottles of water with me, handing one to Jacqui telling her she was going to need that. Unsure of what I meant she took it anyway and I headed for the steps, stopping only to see if she was following.

The base was holding the inter-company basketball competition that day; Trina elbowed Beth and pointed as we approached. They watched us sit at one end of the seats. Jacqui just sat and watched the game, still not sure why I had brought her here. When the game finished I stood, Jacqui followed suit and we walked over to the fence line that over looked two thirds of the base assault course. One team was already on the course, another team ready, just waiting for the whistle to blow for them to start. We both stood and watched as both teams raced each other over the course.

When both teams had finished and the teasing between the teams was over, they were marched away. When they were out of sight, I walked Jacqui back to the base bus stop.

"What did you see today?"

"The skins beat the shirts thirty to twenty eight and the white and Chinese boys got beat by the black and Mexican boys on the swings and climbing frames."

Even as I watched her, it was clear to me that she didn't see what mattered the most. The bus had arrived and hissed as the brakes were applied.

"You're beyond help. You can have your name on the paper, just keep away from me and that applies to all of your family."

Turning, I simply left her standing there, I'm not even sure she got on the bus to be honest. I caught up with Trina at my house. She was sitting on the steps watching me walk up and sit next to her.

"What am I going to do with you?"

Shrugging my shoulders didn't seem to be enough.

"Whatever it is, can you be gentle with me, I've had a shitty day."

That alone earned me a giggle and Trina shuffled closer to me before her head rested on my shoulder. I moved my arm around her back and rested my hand on her hip and we stayed like that for what felt like a lifetime. Mom opening the front door sure put a dent in our moment together.

"Trina honey, I've called your mom and she knows you're staying for dinner, so the both of you break up this love fest and go wash your hands."

*******

True to my word, the paper was handed in and Mrs. Bannerman raised an eyebrow when she read both names on it, but kept her own council. Summer break saw dad and his team disappear and mom and I amongst others, sat waiting for news. We saw on CNN some weeks later what they had been doing. We also watched as the base Commander and padre pulled up outside Trina's house, knock and go in. The scream and the rushing in of some of the base wives and that included my mom, left me in no doubt that the mission wasn't a complete success.

Everyone was in a somber mood when the plane landed. Dad and his team refused to move more than a few feet from the casket the whole time they were on the tarmac. Mom and I watched as Dad sat Trina and her mom down and one by one the team knelt next to them and recounted what her husband had done so that the team could return. My father urged them to stay, on the base she was amongst family. Trina and I stood motionless as her mom rounded on my father and slapped him.

He saw it coming, yet did nothing to stop it. She pounded on his chest with both her fists cursing him and the army that took her husband away. Trina moved from me and pulled her mom away from the confrontation. I never saw Trina again after the funeral, the last I had heard, both of them had moved in with her sister's family in Colorado. We army brats did what we seem to do best. Once again, we closed ranks. Some treated us with respect, others simply didn't know what to do or say around us. We just waited for things to get back to normal.

*******

It was now the final year of high school. I had already warned my folks that I needed to get my head down and get some work done and the extra hours I was putting in at the library simply reinforced that to my folks. With my eighteenth birthday now passed and my folks giving me a car I could afford to miss the bus while I put in the hours at the library.

The shadow that fell over my table made me look once again into the eyes of Jacqui. She had her books against her chest and seemed to shift nervously from one foot to the other.

"Mind if I sit down."

Instinctively I looked around for her entourage.

"It's just me. Can I sit down?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I pointed to a chair across from me and leaned back in mine. I watched her sit and place her books on the table.

"For close to three months now you have pissed me off. You take me on a tour of the base, feed me riddles and then tell me I'm beyond help. Then, you leave me standing at the bus stop without even an explanation of what you're talking about. Finally, to cap it all off, you stick my name on the paper so I don't have to go through summer school."

It was now Jacqui's turn to sit back in her chair, crossing her arms as she did.

Even more baffled by all this, I said, "If I hang around long enough, will I find a question in that statement of yours?"

Jacqui's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she found her voice, I was just grateful we were in the library; even Jacqui had to rein in the volume.

Leaning onto the table glaring at me she hissed, "Listen buster, I came here to thank you for putting my name on your paper even though we both know I didn't do anything to deserve it. I escaped summer school and that in itself was a wake up call. That's not going to happen again. My grades are up in all my classes and I'm back on course. What do you want from me?"

Closing my books held Jacqui's interest and standing just made her eyes wider, even more so when I leaned down to her and uttered, "A little civility."

For the rest of the week, school was a slamming door competition between us; my locker had a dent in it that could be explained by my handprint as I slammed it shut as Jacqui and her friends passed by. Just as the English classroom door was slammed shut, as I approached behind Jacqui, one guy damn near got his head handed to him, when he called out to Jacqui that we should both just get a room and sort out who gets to go on top.

I have never seen Jacqui move so quick and the speed the guy left the class as she covered the distance between them, made for a few impressive nodding of heads as well as tight lips on the topic once again. They were going to leave it to us, to sort out whatever was going on, from now on.

*******

"Honey, that girl is at the door again."

Mom heard the thud as I hit the floor and nodded her head appreciatively. The small smile she had when she went back to the kitchen, she kept to herself. Still only half-awake, I pulled on some shorts and wandered down the stairs to be greeted by mom pointing toward the front door.

Once again, I found Jacqui swinging on the porch seat, her sunglasses were being pushed up her nose, and she stopped and watched me. I didn't even get to sit down before she rounded on me.

"You're driving me nuts. Just what is it with you?

I ignored her and said, "Does your mom know you're all the way out here?"

She launched herself off of the seat and stood inches away from me, pulling her sunglasses of her face, she held them in her hand, her eyes blazed pure anger.

"Just listen to me asshole. I came here to get this, what ever 'this' is, sorted out between us and all I'm getting from you is static that I don't need."

I sat on the porch rail across from her. Jacqui once again put her sunglasses back on and sat back down on the porch swing, for a moment her jaw dropped and she shook her head.

"And don't even bother thinking you're going to be sitting there all day. You're not even dressed, so go put something on. A lady don't need no reputation of being seen with a half naked white boy."

Jacqui was doing her level best to piss me off again. Nevertheless, she did have a point about what I was wearing, so nodding my head; I went inside and got dressed. Mom popped her head out the door and asked Jacqui if she wanted anything to drink while she waited. They were still deep in conversation by the time I had finished my shower and got dressed. Even dad came by and said hello to her as I came out the door, the wink he gave me as he passed, I ignored.

I gave a quick twirl on the porch before saying, "Do I pass inspection?"

"You'll do." Was her only reply.

We walked the base once again, only the other brats recognized Jacqui and left us both alone. Once again, I sat us both down on the seats that overlooked the basketball court, neither one of us said anything. I'm sure Jacqui was waiting for some great words of wisdom. I didn't think it fair to destroy that idea by opening my mouth. Neither one of us said anything for the twenty minutes we sat there as both men and women would pass us by.

Some walked, some were on PT and sang as they ran passed us in groups. I thought perhaps I would try again.

"What do you see?"

"Oh, please don't do this shit again. Look if you're looking for a date, I'll fix you up with my sister."

More confused than ever, I simply looked at her.

"I'm not going to be some experiment for some white guy knee deep in hormones."

Shaking my head in bewilderment I said, "Geez... Don't you have an over inflated opinion of yourself?"

I got up and Jacqui followed me back to the house, telling my father I was going to grab my keys and take Jacqui home. He waited at the bottom of the stairs and said something that not even I had figured out. With a smile, I nodded and went outside to a waiting Jacqui. We jumped in the car and I took her out the side gate of the base and into the graveyard and pulled over.

Jacqui gave me one of those looks before saying, "Is this another one of those 'what do I see' tests, because my track record is pretty lousy so far."

I tried hard to suppress a smile, failed miserably and then nodded my head; we both got out and stood at the front of the car. I gave her a moment to look over the graveyard. A family was already in the process of placing flowers onto a grave across from us and four rows down an old man was taking his hat off and once he had patted the headstone knelt in front of it. I could see his lips move and knew what he was doing.

"Just one question, tell me who is black, who is white, Chinese or even Mexican in this cemetery. Without even looking at any of the gravestones, I want you to tell me the color of every man's skin that's buried here." I hesitated before continuing, "The answer to that is simple. You can't. Each and every one in this place had one color and that was green. When they stood next to their friends and died next to those same comrades, there was only one color that mattered to them and that was green."

The light of realization seemed to come to her eyes. For such a long time, her head slowly swept across that cemetery. Her shoulders seemed to slump slightly before she regrouped.

"You're so stuck on color, you simply don't see that we all bleed red, each and every one here, never gave a damn about what color skin the man next to him had. It was all about their friendship, loyalty and what was in his heart that counted. Moreover, at the moment Jacqui, you're coming up short because your mind is closed. I'm seriously having doubts that you even have a heart."

It was the closest I had ever seen Jacqui close to tears. She climbed back into the car and I took her home. The wheels only just stopped outside her house before she leapt out and ran inside. By Wednesday, I was back to putting in time at the library and my regime of spending time in the library and my track commitments meant I had little time for much else.

News filtered through the school that Jacqui's birthday party ended up with Jason having to strong arm Duke Thompson out of the hall she was holding her eighteenth. Seems he wanted to take her for a drive up to Glyndon heights so she could get reacquainted both with him and his new car, some guys never listen.

*******

I had only been in the library an hour before a shadow crossed the desk, books making a thudding sound when they hit the table and a scrapping sound as a chair was pulled out from under the table.

The glares Jacqui got by the staff, as she sat down, made me smile and I had to look closely at my books to hide it.

"Don't get your hopes up white boy. We're just studying together, that's all."

It was all I could do just to nod my head and hope she didn't see that 'I'm not going to say a word' look on my face. For the next two hours we passed books between us and I even ended up doing some fetching and carrying to and from some of the shelves when our work needed it. It was only the polite cough and gentle tapping of the chief librarian's watch that reminded us of the time. Even the drive back to her place had us both still deep in discussion over how best to complete the assignment we had been given.

Even as I pulled up outside her house, she just couldn't help herself. "Well, that's our first date out of the way."

The look on her face gave her away, so I didn't even comment on the date remark.

However, I just couldn't resist saying, "Don't even think I'm going to be doing the fetching and carrying again tomorrow. It's your turn."

Jacqui shook her head. "Some gentleman you are. You just wait until I tell your momma. And anyway, how can I check out your ass if I'm doing all the fetching?"

My cheeks flushed, and even I had to admit she caught me off balance with that remark.

"Well, if that's not the most sexist thing I've ever heard."

Jacqui actually looked at me like I was from Mars. Her brows knitted together and her head tilted slightly before she just shook her head.

"Sexist?"

She seemed to think about that for a moment.

"I tend to look at it like this, I'm just curious to know what I'm getting for all this effort on your behalf."

Jacqui must have read my confusion because I frankly didn't have a clue as to what the hell she was talking about.

"Well, I've already seen you without a top on, and I must say you are toned up real well, considering you only do track. Plus, of course, you really aren't a morning person are you? Otherwise, you would have known that those shorts you had on are way too baggy and I got to check out your dick while you sat across from me."

My face was burning with embarrassment and for once, I really couldn't think of a thing to say. I just watched as Jacqui got out of the car and walked into her house. Even the drive home was done on auto pilot.

The next day I saw Jacqui around school and even in our English class. She ignored me and I returned the favor. I'm sure the class was waiting for part three of our war to start. Later that day, I waved the brats off and headed for the library. Jacqui was already sitting at our table. As I put my books down, she passed over a small list of books that we both needed.

I slid it back across to her saying, "Don't even think about it. If you want this to be a joint venture, then it's also a joint division of labor."

The fake pout didn't work either. "Well, you're no fun. Get out of bed the wrong way this morning, did you? Please tell me you put on those lovely shorts when you did."

Although I felt my cheeks warm slightly with the shorts comment, I went back to my books, needing the time to once again, collect my thoughts. Pulling books out of my bag, I put them on the table, in the order we needed to work on. It was the slight cough from across the table that made me pause and look towards her. Jacqui smiled when she knew she had my undivided attention and with the list in her hand, she stood up.

The whole damn library stopped to look as her skirt that can best be labeled as a belt, came into view and she walked towards the collection point. I had seen her a couple of times that day and knew for a fact, that she wasn't wearing that skirt to school. That damn woman changed before she got to the library. I'm not sure the guy even heard her, the view of those stocking legs walking towards him and the gentle sway of her hips meant the guy was toast in the brain department.

I figure it switched off about three feet from our table and didn't return to him until he had deposited our books on our desk some twenty minutes later. Jacqui thanked him and looked over at me.

"That's cheating."

Sitting back in her chair, all she did was smile and wink at me. The next polite cough we heard was the head librarian once again reminding us that the library was going to soon close. I took Jacqui home once again.

"That's the second date out of the way. So when do you take me to dinner?"

Again I ignored her comment.

"I have track practice tomorrow, so I won't be able to make the library."

Jacqui simply looked at me and smiled, she winked once again before she put her sunglasses back on and left the car. The urge to watch her walk up to her house was outweighed by the fact that I would only be feeding her ego if I did. Not to mention spending the drive home with a hard on.

*******

"Martin honey, your young lady is here."

Mom and Jacqui were in the kitchen by the time I got downstairs. Both looked up and smiled. I'm sure it was the scratching of my head and the confused look I gave them both that made them smile.