All Comments on 'The Temptation of Felice'

Nothing left to say except Five Stars.

not well written or plausible. Try again, you have some potential.

A once in a lifetime beatdown in trade for a singular woman who is an heiress. No win without a wince, I suppose . That long and winsome road taken to preceding destination was admirable . Something ineffable is missing, in terms of narrator vulnerability , that excludes fairly sizeable LW audience from either enjoying or admitting they enjoyed it.

This seemed an nigh flawless, compact update on James Cain noir themes. I thank Hypoxia for sharing and simultaneously inscribe mental note never to introduce him to wife unless I'm ready to lose her . Full marks. *****

The best part of this story is the justified beating the scum took. It's good to know there are writers willing to face the reality of people fucking with your wife. unfortunately it was only enough to hurt for one weekend and not teach a lesson for the rest of his life. I guess that is left to "fate".

I'm pushing very different buttons in people. Some love the story, some hate it -- can't please everybody so I don't even try. Haters gonna hate.

BTW many players here are real people. Ron, Felice & Rafe, Cassie & WIll, Trina & Leonie, Jenny, the teachers -- all real. I left out quite a few who may show up in future Ron stories. The Desert Botany class alone has an impressive cast including a significant publisher's wife (a prominent naturalist in her own right) and more hot babes. Stay tuned.

Thank you!

as Anonymous said, but very enjoyable.

Thanks, and five stars.

I re-read my old stories because I like what I write but I also think of what could follow.

Chap.2 would be from Felice's POV and track what happens next. Felice, whose family name really may be on food you eat, sees her family lawyers for a restraining order and divorce. Does her ex Rafe try to track them down anyway? Does she stay with imperfect Ron, stick with him through his med school and Reserves life? Do they have kids? Do they marry and/or fuck around? Does she think of reconciling with Rafe?

Chap.3 (if any) would be from Rafe's POV. Can he worm his way back into Felice's heart (and inheritance)? Does he get revenge on Ron, or move beyond that? Does he stay military? What are his backstory and future? Does Gen Rafe Burns, USMC confront Dr Ron Carson, USAR a generation later? Does he know he fathered the Carsons' oldest child?

I wish I had more time to write.

Interesting well written story.

Cheating whore leaving a Marine for this asshole.