All Comments on 'The Ten Game Pt. 04'

Like This Chapter Very Much! Katy is One Hell Of THE Ringmaster! Love Audrey! More!

You’ve got a good story, solid engaging characters we can empathize with and a good setting to let them explore. You even created some interesting and well written erotic scenes and story arcs, but why did you have to rely on hypno for two chapters to gain control over the male protagonist?

Was it because “they” knew he couldn’t be bent any other way? No. Because he buckled under just a stare and a command in first chapter.

It just seems very contrived plot convention to resolve something that wasn’t a problem and now you’re stuck in a damn corner. It’s the same thing as the magic cock syndrome. In those stories once you’ve been touched by it, you can never go back, it becomes your fear, your desire, your everything and there is no hiding from it...unless the poor victim undergoes deprogramming from the MC...but are they truly ever free...muahahaha...Yada, yada, yada.

But when hypno becomes the focal point of a story its much worse than MC syndrome because both the protagonist and the dom lose control. If he does what the dom wants of his own free will, it is not submission to the dom, he is submitting to the fear of what the hypno would do to him. If he refuses and the hypno kicks in, the dom is not making him do the actions the hypno is. Under hypno as you have written it he blanks out, no recollection of the event. He just wakes up and takes stock of what’s around him to try to understand what occurred. He never surrenders power to the dom so it really doesn’t matter. So there is no real submission.

And since he has no control or memory of his actions when he’s under, he is therefore also well aware that the hypno control is so deep that there is no limit on the potential use of him...so is there a code word to kill, mame, or harm himself or others? Okay maybe I took that too far for a story like this, but that’s where hypno can get you off the rails.

But even without the extreme stuff, you’re still now stuck with...are you going to reverse it? If so how? Use the standard unprogramming plotline? Like MC syndrome...will it work? Will they still leave a few trigger words? Etc... or maybe we go with he was never really hypnotized to do anything and he only did what he wanted to... or how about it was a drug that will wear off shortly...or...

What a crappy place for a great writer like you to be stuck. I look forward to your resolution to these issues and the next chapter. I’m just slightly disappointed that you have to fix it.

I love this story I have a couple of minor reservations, like them all getting drunk in Ch 1. BDSM and being drunk is a bad combination then again it wasn’t a technical type scene (restraints etc) The Doms and Dommes don’t come across as being consistent on sub welfare and aftercare.

Wish I could’ve found a similar club! Your story is very well written and highly plausible, am really hoping you are able to find time to write some more. Your work is appreciated. Hugs from a UK fan.

*Disappointment*

The first chapter was incredibly exciting. But then I read just to finish reading.

I agree with the third comment under the third chapter.

This was a great series. It's a shame you never finished it. What were the ten tasks, and especially, what was the tenth?

i really liked this sieries, but felt dissapointed, i knew Sammantha would have a long black cock to please, sadly his girl friend sucked him off. i still gave it 4 stars, i enjoyed it.