All Comments on 'The Things You Make Me Feel Ch. 02'

Great fan of ur writing

This was dull. It did not excite me at all.

...to some extent I have to agree with anon, this was rather dull - or to be more precise it was all superficial. Ellie has fallen for Oliver in worst way possible yet at the same time assures him (and thus us) that she couldn't do it when he was fat. That does make her a very superficial person and I very much hope it's only a phase and her defence mechanism and not her true vision since their childhood. What i can't get my head around is Oliver going with it all, I would have long since packed my bags and flown back to Bella Italia and forget her outbursts. Guess his love goes a lot deeper than hers and he's still carries a torch for her after all these years.

The rest of the story wasn't anything shockingly new, the bickering and envy for Rita were a bit annoying and flocking Jason in the middle of it didn't help wither. Everything is going in the direction I expected from previous chapter, though their brother falling for Jasons sister was a nice addition to the whole sibling drama.

In the end I gave it a 5* because I still enjoyed the read and had a fair share of laughs along the way. Any further analysis and expectations are to follow as the series progresses.

It started out a really good story, but then lost it's way. You make Ellie sound bi-polar or just plain nuts. It's as if you are afraid to bring it to it"s logical conclusion or don't know how. Gitter done man!

I found this site for more stories like this. There are too many of the "oh hey, we're both naked, let's have sex, cool" types of stories. Good writing had body and build-up and turmoil. Especially in a taboo love story. This is the writing that should be more prominent in this world. Keep up the good work and I look forward to future chapters as well as future stoies.

Hi blackmatter,

I am a huge fan of your writing. First Siblingly Binding and now this, you really have somthing in you.

Don't pay attention to these fuckers, they always hate.

This story is really well written with an amzing and interesting plot. The female protagonist is engaged is also a really great plot twist. I think this story will blossom beautifully. Characters and protagonists are really strong and well defined characters.

The turmoil of emotion were really expressed with detail.

About dull, I would say bullshit. If Ellie is superficial, then every fucking girl and women in this world is superficial. Every girl thinks and acts like Ellie. She was saying that if Oliver was like before then she will never have fallen in love with her. But now he is handsome and she felt attracted towards him. If you are arguing that a person loves anothers person's heart not his looks then you should consider the fact that they are siblings.

So I think the best thing is to fuck the haters and do what you are good at.

And the last thing i wanna say to blackmatter is please write it happily and with passion you have. Please give this a happy ending because we all knows that happy endings are to die for. Please give this story a happy ending or there will beore haters growing. Life is already sad why give this also a sad ending.

Thank you.

also great fan of your writing :^)

Please continue to post your stories,they have what so many others here don't and that's real emotion,you can feel the struggle these two are going through to be with each other and that can only lead to what i assume is a great ending for these two obviously in love siblings. Pay no mind to those who only want stroke stories and have no interest in a quality piece of story telling from an obviously talented erotic author.

Loved your story very much.waiting for the next one and please give us a happy ending

Loved the story. This is the stories i search for. Literotica Will be a boring place if all the stories are 1-3 pages with no buildup.

It's heartwarming reading supportive comments. I just wish more people would take the time to let authors know they enjoy their work because the haters sure like to be heard. You need to remember that this kind of story has a certain pacing. I could put the siblings together on the very first page, but then we wouldn't have the drama and tension. I know that many readers don't care much for drama, but I do. It's what makes a story riveting and worth writing imo.

The characters don't remain the same. They grow and change, and Ellie particularly does a lot of growing. Since I know the rest of the story, I guess it's easier for me, but it does happen, I assure you. For those of you who are anxious to see them together, well... you'll need to keep reading. For those who are looking for a hotter read, the erotica kicks into high gear very soon. So stay strong and just kick back and enjoy the process. After all, the path is just as important as the destination.

I have not yet read your first story. But this series has so far been excellent, I thank you and can't wait for part 3.

This is such a good story to read so far. I hope we get to read some more soon.

Personally i loved this story. The writing was great and the story line is great. Please have more soon.

Your characters have the emotional build of teenagers. They are petulant at best. You need to address that. You have a formula of them going from 1 to 10 and then making up only to do it over again. When the argument is the same all the time, it's not deep or entertaining, it's just there. Readers can see it coming. Just because the conflict takes several pages or chapters, which makes it long, doesn't mean it works, not when the argument is about the same constant thing.

And that line the sister says, 'because he backed down like a little bitch.' It could prove the sister's lack of love for him, or it could prove she was turned on by her brother when he did that (she is fucked in the head) could see it as both, but it felt unnecessary.

Thanks for the advice. The essential goal of every story is to be entertaining, and like all writers, I aim to please in that regard. Admittedly, my protagonists tend to be "bigger than life". Some will like it, some won't. You're entitled to your opinion of course but don't presume to speak for all readers.

I couldn't disagree more regarding the conflict. This is a difficult situation, and there is no need to fabricate conflicts just so you could have variety. There is no shortage in stories here that tend to gloss over this, so they could start satisfying readers with the juicier parts. This story isn't one of them.

The first chapter may have been 7-pages long but only covered the first three days of Oliver's return. Ellie is an engaged woman, and she's struggling with the idea of delving into an incestuous relationship with her brother. I'm sorry if you feel she should have gotten over it quicker. I apologize on her behalf.

I would have encouraged you to stick around, but since you find my protagonists petulant, with Ellie fucked in the head, and the story generally unentertaining, I won't. You'd probably better off finding something more suitable to your taste. Or maybe you could write something of your own? Show me how it's done?

I couldn't agree with you more blackmatter. These stories are from authors to their audience. If they don't like it then don't read it. I love this story so far and I hope there is more to come.

And seems to want to explain away to the universe why his story is great, and comment derisively to his readers who are only providing their opinions, is not a particularly good author, is he?

Your story is ok. But that's it. Don't fucking expect platitudes and complements only.

And stop "couldn't disagreeing more" with your readers! For fucks sake, are you 11 or something?? Every time I've read that in one of your comments, I cringe... and I agreed every time with the reader making the initial comment.

It's about point of view, and how your readers perceive your story. Not about you explaining yourself away afterwards. That's actually what the story is for. Don't blame your readers if you can't get your point across in your writing. Blame yourself only. That's how it works.

'I couldn't disagree more regarding the conflict. This is a difficult situation, and there is no need to fabricate conflicts just so you could have variety' ... your quote.

I don't think anon was saying you need to fabricate conflicts - I think you think that makes a great story - there are more ways to show inner conflicts than constant fighting/bickering ... be creative.

Felt like a story which had the possibility of being decent, but had far too much fluff injected into it.

...for the punch line title. I love how you held onto it so long.

You exposed their raw feelings for each other in every way possible and I loved how you made them snap to finally come together. Well done! 5

I identify with both characters. I don't think I have ever done that before. Particularly a female, but I completely understand how she feels. Unreal.

An amazing chapter to this story! Loving it! Thank you!

Wow! Great character development, Bro. Ellie is the kind of self-absorbed shrew who repeatedly emasculates her fiancé, while cuckolding him by first emotionally and then literally fucking someone else. She creates firestorms and then expects her behavior to be acceptable because...and here is where I don't quite get why her behavior is accepted or at the very least, the impact of her behavior is trivialized by the others in her life. Sorry but I can't continue the read. She is the definition of the adage: No matter how beautiful she is, someone somewhere is tired of her shit!

That makes her unequivocally and irreversibly unattractive to me.

Your story is engaging but I agree with a couple other readers it seems like you cant take constructive criticism well. I know u say Ellie will grow and I'm sure she will but as someone else said everyone has a different perceptions of situations. I read what u wrote about her behavior but she does come off self absorbed and its frustrating to some of us cause that's out perception please respect our opinions especially if you seek them.

I don't understand why many comments here criticize the author or the character for something they fail to grasp or realize. Especially after such an in depth portrayal of emotion and her psyche. I live with someone like that on a daily basis and believe me when I tell you it's real and uncompromising to make the character come alive over likeability.

She is angry at herself and her situation. She can't grasp her self quite since she's been shaken to the core with her emotions and feelings. She is clearly in self denial and is acutely aware of it. Hence the unreasonable behaviour. To r mind you, it's not her usual self.

As for me, I loved it. I've never read such a realistic portrayal of charavter and her emotions on Literotica. And I have never taken time out to defend a piece of work or an author before. That should be testament enough.

I had to give up halfway through your other series. I just couldn't take the shallow, vindictive, nasty, passive aggressive female characters you create. I was hoping that this series really did end up being incest ROMANCE, but its gone into the ditch like the last one.

I just wasn't sure if you were modeling Ellie from an ex wife, a girlfriend, a sister, your mother, or is this a composite character?

I read through ALL of the comments to see if it was only me who became utterly repulsed by the Ellie. It was only after I read your replies to comments that I suspected that the damage in Ellie is really welling up from..... you.

When I read your replies, it became clear that Ellie is really a mirror of you, that your reactions to criticism reveal the emotional transference you impart to Ellie.

I hope that one day you get over whatever put you where you are now.

"shallow, vindictive, nasty, passive aggressive female characters you create."

Seems like a brutally honest portrayal to me.

I would have to say about 2/3rds of women I have met have been that way. It is not always easy to see, most of the time the really nasty and vindictive stuff is hidden below the surface but yes, most women seem to have that streak of pure evil in their psyche somewhere.

If you live in some country filled with rainbows and unicorns I would love to know where.

For one, I want to answer the last few comments about women having a cruel, selfish streak in them. Not all women are like that. I'm certainly not. But I do definitely agree that quite a staggering proportion of them are indeed like that and that's why I am ashamed of my gender. I despise women who manipulate, who lash out in selfish hurtful ways, who use people to get revenge. It is the very epitome of ugly behaviour we women are prone to. But in all fairness, there are a staggering proportion of men who have equally ugly masculine traits. So let's just say that much of humanity is not something to be proud of.

All that said, I wanted to make a few literary observations. This series is quite jarring to me. The use of language and vocabulary is quite bipolar. One moment, it is scorching hot romance and literally in the same sentence is language that is vulgar and crude and immature - for example, the swapping of spit, a very pre-teen term. I find myself gaining momentum in the story only for it to be lost completely when another rather crude choice of words comes along. I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but to say the least, it's a bit jarring for a reader.

Secondly, from a purely literary point of view: your main character Ellie is inexorably crossing the line from heroine to villain. You haven't really built her up in such a way that makes her at all sympathetic to a reader...as you have probably gathered from the many comments. Oliver is really the hero here and I'd imagine that most readers sympathise quite a bit with him, as do I...and want to see him get the hell away from nuclear Ellie.

One more observation...a story of this genre doesn't really work with the whole single parent thing. First and foremost, Oliver's devotion belongs to his child (which you have said) and no matter what he felt about his sister, he would absolutely know that a relationship with Ellie would blow his daughter's life to irreparable smithereens. Actually pursuing it is a bit contrary to the character you've built Oliver up to being. Either he puts his daughter first, or he puts himself and Ellie first. If he puts his daughter first, like he should and in keeping with his character, then you don't really have a story. If he puts himself first, he then becomes a complete asshole and the worst father in the world. See what I mean about this not really working within the genre?

Anyway, those were my observations and besides that, I was really enjoying it (minus the very slutty talk coming from the female characters in moments of passion). I get that men would really love it women actually talked that way, but we don't. Not very often and not many of us, I'm afraid.

Hi!

First I must say that I love long, slow progressing, stories. Especially well written and intricate in both plot and characters.

So I was a little confused about my feelings regarding this story. It should fit me to the tooth. But something nagged at me. And as I read the comments I agreed with both the ones that praise you as well as those who have criticism, and fair criticism especially.

But AshkunLove but it on the spot. Its the adorable Michaela that's the thing nagging me. She will be the loser, AGAIN, however this turns out. Ar least so far, I'll read on to find out.

And please stop arguing with people who doesn't like 100% what you write. That makes you and your stories suffer. You are a good writer or people wouldn't take time to read no less comment on your stories.

I will keep on reading this story and promise another comment when I'm done.

I like your FRANKNESS about how women behaves and treats men

But I just didn't agree with you on

1. Ellie has no sympathy

2.single parent thing

I don't know how you feel about her but let me show how I think

First of all I have all my sympathy( or we can say love or ...) for her ,cause

--> she is not single like her brother

--> she is the big sister in the picture

Oliver has had the choice to be with any girl he wants, where as Ellie uh ..uh she is fixed with Jason.

And he can show his true feelings to anyone ( including his sister) without the feeling of decepting his partners. But doesn't have that opportunity.

And since he is the younger one he can do mistakes like he can pursue her but she can't .She has the responsibility to think morally or choose her actions & thoughts based on morality.

Iam not saying she behaves with maturity, but she battles her desires with her morals and tries to win,but in the end succumbs to desires.

We can't blame her it's the human nature.

So let's comes to single parent thing

He was single for the past 4 years , if I was particular, I can say, HE WAS SINGLE IN HIS WHOLE LIFE ( LOVE LIFE ) EXCEPT FOR THE 9 MONTHS PREGNANCY OF HIS WIFE.

And you say that he has to choose between his daughter and sister ( correction - his sister and daughter )

Love ( I mean AkshunLove ) , Ellie is not some stranger BTW. She is his sweet sister . His love for his sister is 19 years senior than the love towards his daughter.

And simply just because he is a single parent , he can't have love.

SHOW SOME SYMPATHY MAAM ,

BTW i think you are showing more sympathy for ELLIE.

just assume if 18 years of pure love and 5 years of longing transforms into lust,

Just .. just assume the amount of power it withholds on one persona.

BTW I hate women ( not hate , didn't like the way they treat us)

And I like them when they are open about their gender and say iam a female {liiiike you} ( in online okayyyy ) . It's like saying iam one of the females who are destroying the life of men around them ( especially bachelors ).How can we still be able to forgive them & like them inspite of that ?

PS: the opinions in the last paragraph was not mine . They are just opinions of general men.

Sorry for this lengthy & boring comment.

like, for real

So do emotions. It takes a while sometimes for a reckoning to occur. It's just getting everything out in the open and then down to business. Which I think And hope is about to occur. We will see in chap 3. 5* for this one. Good story! -dave

Man, Ellie sure is a massive a-hole, isn't she? Jason seems like a pretty alright dude, the way you've portrayed him thus far. And whatever betrayal he is sure to have coming his way, at this point in time, it sure does seem to be undeserved. I'm not sure if that's on purpose, but whatever the case, Ellie has for sure tipped over that line from likable into somewhat unlikable quite a while ago already.

Like, just the way she speaks about Jason from the very get-go. Apparently they're getting married, but the minute she sees her brother, she's basically using him and putting him down inside her own mind.

I also kind of agree with the criticism of the superficiality of it all. That being said though, I guess it is a pretty realistic portrayal. Looks are an important factor to consider, so why should it be any different in this particular case? And it does seem like you're setting up for some kind of realization in that regard on Ellie's part, what with her literally acknowledging the non-superficiality of Bianca, so we'll see!

All this is obviously not to say that I don't enjoy the story. You make up for it in spades with the quality of your story telling. I'm assuming that the way you're telling this story is entirely intentional, and reading it as kind of an honest portrayal of the sort of insanity almost inherent to "falling in love with a sibling", so this is still a very easy 5 star story at this point. Well done!

its an "interesting" series. I really like the intensity of the relationship. to me, it's uncertain whether Ellie is capable of love - real blind generous forgiving love - but that's the tension of the story. very well done. i'm looking forward to the rest of the chapters. The Romeo and Juliet reference, however, is a bit ominous.

I just couldn't get over the part where a 4 year old girl was dancing on a table surrounded by adults at a party with drugs and alcohol was never mentioned in the story later nor comments. I hope you really really REALLY meant this in a different way or as to as innocent as possible but I would have been beating the shit out of my brother for doing that or allowing it to happen. Also the fact that the dad would even allow his daughter to be there in the first place was wrong and shows a lack of judgement on his part. As far as Ellie goes I have lost all respect for her as a character and am finding it hard to even get into the story and am starting to root for Oliver to take his daughter back to Italy after totally destroying ellie's perfect little life. Fuck that whore. And yes you have written her to be a whore. I will give you credit that you have tremendous talent for writing and your stories are better than the gangbang family orgies that most of these porno script writing wannabes produce.

You have a talent lol at making your readers hate your characters,Thou im so happy Ellie and Oliver finally admitted their feelings etc, Michela is one of my fav characters, I kind of want to go and get myself an italian girl now lol. Keep up the good work,5 stars from me.

Man, that scene with Micaela dancing on the Table with adults, booze, and drugs around was beyond NOT okay...

if you could edit it out or change it...

Weird. I love the writing and you can obviously do it very well. The conflict is very good, I found myself speaking to the characters very emotionally. Yet, I'm gonna have to put a lot of effort in liking Ellie after her behaviour (and obvious racism toward Rita). She's overall a very superficial and very, very American character. I thought maybe that was about the author but Oliver himself sounds much less so, so maybe it's intentional. Anyway, great writing. Not magical, but very solid.

Amazing series, still agree with my first comment thou. But all in all wondering writing!

You've read the comments so I won't belabor the obvious. You have great talent. Expand on it. Develop that muscle. Continue to write in whatever genre you choose. 5 stars!

Absolutely great story! 5/5

My second read, and still enjoying it more than the first. "belabor the obvious" "Develop that muscle" who the hell writes like that. How F***ing pretentious. I may have been on something or maybe I wrote it at 4:00 in the morning. Not sure what chapter starts with that infamous dream sequence, I hope I spot it before I get too much into it. I'm still a bit traumatized from reading the entire sequence the first time.

You need to turn this into a full on book, just change the fact they share parents & make them like adopted (1 of them or BFF) cause I’m loving this story

That Ellie character is not okay. Seriously. She's all over the place. If you wrote her like that so we can hate her, you've done it. And that four years old dancing around booze and drugs? Yeah, I hate Oliver and Dave too. This family is so disfunctional that I'm genuinely interested in reading more about them.

What an emotion roller coaster with these two. Can't wait to see where it ends up. 5/5

Jason doesn't deserve any of this. At least write him in a way so that we can hate him a bit so Ellie's cheating and bitching is somewhat satisfying

lowering her bust? Wtf?

Ellie certainly has a lot of unresolved issues. That's disturbing emotional torture she's inflicting on Oliver and then she's getting off on it to a degree, using her brother in her mind to fuel her sex life to new peaks, but also at the same time using Jason for pure physical gratification. Not gonna lie, that's pretty fucked up. Part of me is thinking maybe Oliver should just escape and move on? This better be damn well worth it.

Olivet should cut bait and head back to Italy. Ellie has serious issues.

Second time reading the story again, I almost forgot how crazy Ellie is. And the ride isn't over yet. More drama to come.

Ellie really doesn't deserve another chance. Michela didn't deserve that turmoil and Ellie should never have said or done 95% of the things she did. She is unhinged and a bitch.

And she was fucking someone the entire time, he only got a blowjob...