All Comments on 'The Trip Ch. 01'

i loved it cant wait for the next chapter!

Very good first submission, a tender romance developing here, I can't wait for chapter 2.

Peace and joy,

Shell

this has real potential. Some of your english is a little formal, but nothing a bit of proof reading cant fix. I look forward to the next chapter!

You have a few writing misscues, but it is an amazing story so far. There is no excuse for abuse whether he's gay or not. How the mother doesn't know about the abuse makes you wonder, how could she not know. The father needs to be taken care of, there's no reason for any type of abuse, cancer or not.

That was just AMAZING!

I can't wait to read more!!

I like the story line but I think a good editor would help to smooth things out. I'm available to look at the next chapter if you'd like.

I thank everone for your comments! Like I said I want positive and negitive feed back. You dont have to leave a Anonymous comment I will not be upset with any negitive feed back. I now have someone who is going to edit the chapters so it flows better. Thanks again!!!!

It´s a greate story can´t wait to read the next chapter, hope you posted soon..

I like what you are doing and the way you are doing it. Your use of dialog is very effective. Please don't rush. There is tremendous potential here for a great variety of story lines. I have bonded with your characters and would like to keep their company for awhile.

There is nothing wrong with bringing in another pair of eyes. Just don't let anyone mess around with your lovely voice.

Can't wait for more!

What a wonderful beginning to what promises to be a great next chapter.

Great start! I appreciate the time you've taken to develop the characters. My partner and I are looking forward to the next chapter.

Just letting everyone know that chapter 2 is almost finished. l'm just adding some final touches and triple proof reading it. I'm hoping to send it off tomorrow for approval and it should be ready by sunday. Thanks again for reading!

wonderful

I really like the start to your story and am looking forward to reading the other chapters. The only thing is, if you are writing in the future, you might want to choose names that are a little more different from each other. Having a Josh, a Justin & a Jason before you've even met any other characters can get confusing and leaves the reader working hard to remember who's who.

yep, but I like the story so far.

Loving it so far and cannot wait to read the rest

To those who've just started on this story, keep reading. Plus, be sure to check out Now or Never afterwards. I can promise that those that don't will certainly be missing out.

Can't say it enough, both reach right down into one's soul.

Don't want to spoil it so won't say more other than, keep reading:)!