All Comments on 'The Trip Ch. 02'

This is coming together nicely. The best friend being in love with Josh was a surprise. Justin's father is a sadistic nut, and his mother is not as bad as I had assumed. I can't wait to see where you take this.

Peace and joy,

Shell

This is an amazing story, I think I've lost track of who's in love with whom though, that last part was a little confusing for me. I thought there were just 4 guys, but there seems to be more, Josh,Justin, Shane,Mark & Steve? How the mother can't see whats going on is unreal. I hate abuse.

I'm definitely having problems keeping your characters straight. For example, it was Steve who attacked Justin and bloodied him up, but Jason and Josh end up talking about Mark being in love with Josh. This to me says that either you changed a character name at some point (and Steve and Mark are actually the same character - this is an error an editor or a Beta reader would catch for you) or you've melded two characters into one to simplify an over-complex storyline. Since your overall story is good and your characters and plot are engaging, please consider going to the editor forum board and finding someone to work with. The Editors available for June should be going up soon, and you could snag someone to help you out with your spelling/grammar/names/word usage etc. Just in general tighten up your story. Think about it! Good job so far!

I'm so sorry for the mix up with the names, neither I nor the person I had read it caught that little mistake so I'm going to correct it and have it reposted so it flows better. Again I'm so sorry for that mistake.

It really is amazing so far and I can't wait for more!

When are u publishing more????????

Loving the story!!!!!!!!

I'm working on chapter 3 now and it is coming along nicely. Chapter 3 is going to be posted but not as fast as the past two, its the end of the school year up here and work is a mad house. I have the summers off, due to I drive a school bus, and I can put all my time into the story. Thanks for the compliment!

I can't wait for the next chapter. You are a great writer with an emotional and captivating story.

Its been two months since I last asked, do u have any idea when you gonna be posting Chapter 3

Thanks

You must also be a profit, seeing into the future as the hurricane did hit the coast. After it passed, you have more material to write about 'recovery' and healing. With your mental powers, you can feel the empathy of your readers for the characters, and perhaps some of the pain(s) And Joys you must have observed to be able to write with such emotion. You have touched a lot of people, in a positive way, and we support you.

fantastic

I dont have any issue with that - it is just unusual that none of them knew about the others.

Great story.

Please let Justin live

Love it !

So almost everyone in this friend group is secretly gay and have all been pining in love fir each other for years? A bit far-fetched, but generally a good story. No words for Justin’s dad and his level of abuse and cruelty. He really must be locked up. But Steve’s unwarranted outburst and violent attack on Justin was nearly as bad. This is not just a case of a jealous admirer. This is serious violent and dangerous behavior. Steve is a strong athletic grown man and should face assault charges and loads of therapy.

Having just completed Chapter 8 of Field of Blooms, I'm already in a state. Now Chapter 2 of The Trip has me in tears all over again.

Thanks! LOL