All Comments on 'The Truth in Goon Ch. 03'

I realize that I'd forgotten to put in a proper transition to the flashback (from them lying on the bed to them having lunch a few nights ago) so I'll be editing that later so it flows a bit better.

this was a good chapter the only thing I did not like was her being handcuffed to the bed, other than that it was good

Why is there a scene in here with them fucking a guy. It was not necessary. It did nothing for the story, only took away from it (for me). The story minus this scene was perfect. The girl-on-girl action was so hot with Bailey revealing a bit of her emotions for "Sam." This chapter received my lowest mark for this series - 3 stars. This is the Lesbian Sex category. For me, it is ok to write a heterosexual scene if it is shown comparatively or someone transitioning. Even with all of this being said, it does not dim your light as a writer. You're very good.

Thanks for your comment!

Yeah, I wasn't sure whether to keep it in the lesbian category. The main point of that scene was to show how "Sam" had started to see hetero sex as being a bit stale, I realise now it probably would've been better to just simply say that then show a sex scene that interrupts the flow of the narrative. I'll be sure to remember that! So thank you! =P