The Ugly Shop

Not having had a very good nights sleep, I drifted off to sleep. No crazy dreams this time, just a restful nap, which I so desperately needed. I woke up a couple of hours later and made a cup of coffee, trying to shake off the "drowsies". Still startled by my new appearance I found myself stopping at every mirror I passed to run a hand over my sandpaper scalp. "Well that just feels shitty." I remarked as my hand made a few passes over my head. "I should just shave it smooth, and be done with it." I thought, as I set my coffee on the edge of the bathroom sink. I grabbed a fresh razor from the container and placed the scissors back in, damn things.

My original locks of hair still lay on the tiled floor. I scooped them up and went to throw them out when I got nostalgic and placed them carefully in a zip lock baggy. I threw it in a kitchen drawer not caring about it after that and hopped in the shower. The water felt strange against my exposed scalp but not nearly so strange as the razor did as it scraped away all my remaining stubble. I admitted to feeling aroused by the whole thing, especially the smoothness of my head after I dried off. I sprinkled some baby powder on it and dusted it around until it glowed white and shiny. "Hmmm, that's much better." I mused as I flopped back on the sofa.

I reached down to pick up a piece of paper that dropped as I sat down and saw that it was the number and address of that Dr. Brandenburg. After today I was ready for him. I grabbed my cell and dialed the number, getting the usual voice mail jargon and figured I would have to leave a message which might be returned next year some time. Right in the middle of the spiel a real person popped on.

"Dr. Brandenburg's office, may I help you?" Almost too bubbly.

"I sure hope so." Was my immediate response.

"Do you understand what we do here?" She asked, understandably, as I think there weren't a lot of people with this problem out there.

"I think so, but perhaps, just to be sure, you could explain it to me." I quizzed.

"We specialize in, shall we say, toning down beauty." She waited for me to chime in but I didn't. "We help people that are tired of the stares and the harassment to find a more moderate appearance."

"Oh, thank god, you really are real." I sighed almost not believing my ears.

"You would be surprised at how often we get that same response." She mused. "Would you like to come in today for a preliminary appointment?" Was I hearing this right? "Dr. Brandenburg has an opening at 3:15, can you make it?" I looked at my watch and it was already 2:00 so I had to hurry.

"Yes, I'll be there." I said excitedly. I gave her my name and I hung up the phone and grabbed my stuff and flew out the door. I ran to my car, Mrs. Bentley was nowhere to be seen, so off I went.

When I arrived at the office, it wasn't as I expected it to be. It wasn't a big shiny building with glass walls and modern walkways. Instead it was just an office in a small professional park. I parked and made my way the entrance, a little put off by the surroundings. Inside was clean and well kept, with a modern design and clean, clean was important.

"Hi, I'm Monica..."

"Monica Flint, hi, my name is Brandy, I spoke with you earlier." She smiled "You know you're the spitting..."

"Stop!" I pleaded "Please, that's one of the reasons I am here." I hung my head.

"Well, if you can just fill out these forms, and Dr. Brandenburg will be right with you." I filled out like six forms dealing with liability and insurance and payment. Payment, I am certain that my HMO wouldn't cover this, I wondered how much it could cost. I had some money, but I wasn't rich.

In a few minutes I was led back through a series of hallways into a large office. A middle aged man was sitting behind a large glass desk, motioning me to have a seat.

"Miss Flint?" I nodded. "My name is Dr. Brandenburg, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held out his hand which I took. "So I am assuming that you understand the type of service that we offer here." I nodded again "May I ask how long ago you shaved your head?"

"Today, it's a long story." I looked down at my feet.

"Monica, may I call you Monica?" I smiled "Monica, you would be surprised to hear how many of our clients come in looking much the same as you do. The cutting off of the hair is a last ditch effort to squelch the beauty that has haunted them most of their lives." He sat back in his chair more relaxed now. "I understand that you have a famous twin out there, that is making your life miserable." I chuckled and shook my head. "This is an unusual case Monica as you are not only haunted by your incredible beauty, but you have the added misfortune of being identified as someone you're not." The doctor seemed concerned. "Are you okay mentally, Monica, because once women get to the stage of cutting off their hair they are not far away from inflicting self harm. Some would even consider the act of de-tressing yourself as an act of self harm." He leaned forward.

"I would never...do that." I said but now that he had mentioned it, the thought scared me a little. "I mean I've had dreams, and nightmares" I admitted.

"Were you someone else in your dreams?" He asked.

"Yes, always. Never myself, always someone else." I drifted off at the end of the sentence as I remembered the restroom dream.

"And these other people you see yourself as, they are plain, perhaps even unattractive?" He was reticent but still pressed the question.

"Yes, always." I stammered as I shook myself out of the dream.

"Well Monica, it would seem you are a perfect candidate for our Atonement program." I smiled. "You will have to take a leave of absence from work you understand as the entire process takes about six weeks." He hesitated for a moment. "I will and should mention that our services are quite expensive Monica. A standard atonement

costs between sixty and one hundred thousand dollars." My heart dropped out of my chest. There was no way I could ever afford to do this and I so wanted to.

"Dr. Brandenburg, I could never afford this. I have some savings but they only amount to at best twenty thousand, so I am well short of the mark." I rose and went to shake his hand,

"Monica, you know you do have an ace in hole, so to speak. Out there, there is a very wealthy girl that may be just as tired of you looking like her, as you are." I had never thought about it, but he was absolutely right, especially after today's fiasco. "If I were you Miss Flint, I would make an attempt to reach this Valerie Vincent and perhaps she might be willing to part with a small bit of her fortune, if only to be rid of her twin." We shook hands and I promised to give it a try. The doctor gave me a brochure with all of the various treatments that he offered and we parted company.

The next day I did some research online and found a way to call Valerie's booking agent. I wasn't very hopeful but I rang the number. A quite harried voice answered the phone and after I explained who I was she became very interested.

"So...you're the little bald headed vixen that has been causing such a stir for my client." I explained that I was, and started to give a more detailed account of my life as Valerie's twin. I also explained that I had a proposal that may cause this whole thing to go away. "Well, I know that Valerie will want to meet you, why don't you stop at my office today at around, let's say 5pm?" I agreed to the meeting.

The agent's office was in one of the taller buildings in Seattle and I felt a little intimidated by all the stares I was getting. Suddenly I was surrounded with paparazzi and a flurry of flash bulbs and questions. With the help of a security guard I was whisked to an elevator and hit the 26th floor. As I made my way down the hallway a tall blonde girl stepped out of an office and as we approached each other I realized it was her. We stopped and faced each other for a good minute and it really was like looking in the mirror. Suddenly a smile broke across her face as she reached out and stroked my bald head.

"I look good like that, I wish I had the courage to do it!" Valerie motioned for me to step into the office she had just left.

"You have no idea how weird this is Valerie." I spouted

"Well I'll tell you... Monica, it's pretty weird for me too." She looked down at copies of the grainy images of me from the parking lot when I'd had my hair cut. "These images, and a few other instances, have caused me some headaches, I won't lie to you." She looked over at her agent. "I understand you have a proposal for me?" She looked puzzled.

"Yes, I know you don't want me looking like you any more than I, excuse my frankness, want to look like you. So..." I took out the brochure from Dr. Brandenburg's office and handed it to her. "This is my proposal." As Valerie looked through the booklet and the various before and after images of clients, she became even more puzzled.

"You would do this to yourself?" She seemed shocked to learn that my beauty was a curse.

"Yes, I would. All my life my beauty has haunted my very existence, it has caused me pain and embarrassment. There's only one catch." I held my breath.

"You can't afford it." She frowned "You are wondering if I think it's worth the cost of this to know that my twin has effectively been, shall we say, modified?" I nodded. Valerie looked at her agent and then back at the images in the pamphlet. "How much are we talking here?"

"It could cost up to one hundred thousand dollars." Valerie's eyes grew large as she heard the figure, but then settled as she looked at me.

"That's not chump change sister." She looked over at her agent and then back at me. "I'll do this under two conditions, Monica. One is, you appear with me, side by side on national TV to dispel this rumor of me going bald." I nodded in agreement. "The second is, that seeing as I am paying for this, I get to choose which treatment you get." I hesitated for a moment knowing that some of the Atonement plans were fairly drastic.

"Yes, I agree to your terms." Valerie stood up and shook my hand, smiling as she did so.

"It has been interesting meeting my twin, but I will be glad this will be done so we can both rest a little easier." I smiled and nodded as I left the office with Valerie saying that we may as well start crushing the rumors now. As the elevator opened and we both stepped out the press was on us like hounds. Then suddenly silence as they realized that there was two of us. "Everybody, you know me, Valerie, but this here is Monica Flint, my virtual twin for lack of a better term." She tugged on her wavy silvery blonde hair. "See folks still attached" Jokingly she rubbed her hand over my smooth head. "Not me, okay." We shook hands once again and I went away happy that I would be getting my "makeover" at her expense.

It turned out that the makeshift press conference was enough to quell the rumors about Valerie so she didn't need the national presser. Three days later I was at Dr. Brandenburg's clinic to start my Atonement. I took a medical leave of absence from work and was all set for at least six weeks. I had tried to press the clinic for more

information on the changes that would be made but Valerie's terms forbid them from disclosing anything to me.

The rooms were very nice, private, with a view over a lush garden and a small lake. Dr. Brandenburg stopped by to say hi, but looked a bit nervous, perhaps a busy day. I unpacked my things and settled in. That night I had another dream and it was the most vivid yet.

I was walking through a meadow with tall grass all around, the only thing was I was naked. I was naked but not naked like I remembered myself. I looked down and my legs were chubby and fat, so much so that I could feel my thighs rubbing together. My breasts were large and sagged quite drastically past my navel, which was a deep pit in my bulbous tummy. There was a fold of fat that hung over my pussy, obscuring it from view. I suddenly was tired so I sat down on the grass, and then laid back. As I looked down the rolls of fat flattened out on the ground, my breasts falling into my armpits. For some reason this all excited me, but at the same time I was revolted. I tried to reach my pussy with my fingers but the rolls of fat kept my hands inches away from being able to touch it. I rolled back and forth until I got myself into a sitting position. Only then could my fingers search the folds of skin for my pussy which was buried under a mound of blubber.

It was bald and slick with my juices which ran over my fingers as I pleasured myself. As my arm moved my whole body jiggled like jelly which fed my lust and my disgust. The humiliation of being so obese was making me hot, but it was also filling me with an intense dread. The sound of the fat folds slapping into one another was driving me even closer to a strange orgasm, laced with humiliation and fear.

I woke up slowly, and had to catch my breath. This couldn't be one of the atonement plans here, they wouldn't do that to someone. It wouldn't even be healthy, I thought. No, this was my overactive imagination run amok. My body was covered in sweat, and my head was also beaded with it. I got up to the bathroom as a nurse came in to the room.

"Oh, I'm surprised to find you up at this hour Miss Flint." I ran a towel over my head "Bad dream?" I nodded. "Well I was just coming in to prep you for your first surgery tomorrow."

"Prep me?" I questioned.

"Why yes, you need to be shaved." The nurse seemed very matter of fact like she had done it a thousand times. She laid a towel over the bed and asked me to slip off my pajamas and panties.

"I thought you would be shaving my face and head." I puzzled

"Nope, for the work we're doing tomorrow I need to shave you from your shoulders down, that's why I'm getting an early start." I didn't like the sound of this but I was willing to go along. Slowly and methodically, the nurse shaved me. My breasts, my arms and underarms, my belly, my pubic hair, all of it. It was both relaxing and

humiliating. She noticed that I was dripping a little from my pussy. "Don't worry about that, it happens a lot." She giggled as she ran a finger over my shaved mons. Then she was gone, and I was left to wonder what they would be doing. I gave up trying to inquire about my Atonement, but I couldn't imagine Valerie hurting me.

Suddenly there was a flurry of activity in my room as they transferred me to a gurney and whisked me down the hall into a very cold and bright operating theater. My stomach was growling as I hadn't been allowed to eat anything. Then Dr. Brandenburg was there and he was directing the show. Each person had their place as I felt an IV being started in my left arm. There was a white liquid that was pushed in and I began to feel groggy, then all was black.

I was awake, but I didn't know where I was. I started to panic a little as I couldn't move anything. Suddenly a nurse was there easing me down and explaining that my lower body was wrapped for now and I could not move, nor should I try. I tried to lift my head but it was no use, I was pretty well strapped down. I was eventually taken back to my room and transferred back to my bed. As I was transferred I managed to get a look at my body and it looked about the same, just wrapped in bandages. What did they do? Surely they could tell me now that it was done.

Not long afterwards Dr. Brandenburg came in and told me that as each part of the atonement was completed that I was allowed to know what had been done. He had convinced Valerie to allow that. "He had to convince her." I thought. A deep seated fear started to creep across me and Dr. Brandenburg could see it in my eyes.

"You have to relax Monica, you have taken your first step to atone for your beauty." I didn't relax. This new wording scared me. I knew what to atone for something was. It was to pay for it, to be punished for it.

"I thought Atonement was just a clever play on words doctor. It just sounded like you said I have to be punished for being beautiful." I was wrestling with my immobility.

"Yes, you are right Monica, you are atoning for your beauty, you are having it removed from you." He chided "Isn't this what you wanted? Isn't this what you agreed to when you made your deal with Miss Vincent?" He sat on the edge of the bed. "Here is what we have done today. Throughout your entire body, your arms, legs, your breasts, your belly, buttocks and even your sex, we have inserted what are called lipid matrices. Now as you are unwrapped in a day or two you will notice very little difference. Your body will appear very much the same as it did when you arrived. That will not last. As your body resumes its normal metabolic function the matrices will act as magnets for fat cells. No matter how carefully you eat Monica, from now on you are going to gain weight, and most likely a great deal of it. Although we rarely perform this procedure, those that have had it done generally triple their body mass in about a year." Tears were rolling down my cheeks. "So judging by your current 125lbs, in a year you should weigh in the neighborhood of 375lbs, give or take a few." He laid a hand on my arm. "I am sorry that this was the atonement that Valerie chose for you, I truly am." With that he walked out of my room.

"What have I done?" I balled as my tears continued to soak my face. This isn't what I wanted, not this. The dream, a prophecy. "Fuck!" I yelled so loud that a nurse came dashing into the room.

"Are you all right Miss Flint?" She asked calmly

"No I'm not fucking all right! Would you be all right?" She shook her head and walked out.

The next few weeks were a blur of procedures. More lipid matrices were added to my face, neck and back. My hair was removed permanently, everywhere, even my eyebrows and eyelashes. My nose was widened and my lips were thinned. Then the final insult was saved for my last day.

Even though I was eating like a bird, I was still gaining weight and had jumped to 150lbs in four weeks. It was showing not only in the way I looked but in the way I moved as well. My feet began to splay out and my shoulders began to slump under the weight of my larger breasts. All of the surgical incisions were healing and although I felt the same I looked like an entirely different person. I had a heavy furrowed brow, and my wide nose seemed to take up half my face. Today was my last surgery and I would be discharged in the morning. I certainly couldn't go back to my old job, they wouldn't even recognize me. I certainly wouldn't be a very good representative of the mall now.

I was escorted by my nurse into the operating theater one last time and I tried to be upbeat about everything. I was given a sedative into my IV and darkness overcame me.

As I came around my mouth was full of gauze and I couldn't breathe right. I began to pull the gauze out and the nurse stopped me.

"Bite down on that for a little while, Monica, till the bleeding stops." I started to probe around with my tongue but something was wrong. My teeth! They had pulled out all me teeth. I started to panic to thrash at the nurse, the IV was out I was off the gurney and running. I spit out the gauze and my tongue ran over the ragged sockets where my teeth once were. I could feel the life draining out of me, my increased weight was tiring me out as I fell to the floor and lapsed into unconsciousness.

I woke in a panic, and lurching forward I tripped and fell onto the floor. My floor, in my apartment. I laid there for a moment, my hands going to my head, the rough sandpaper surface felt like heaven. My tongue felt the backs of my teeth, still in their sockets. Slowly, uncertainly, I got up and walked to the mirror. I would never curse my beauty again, ever! "What a fucking dream!" I grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and sat back on my sofa, picking up the small paper with the doctor's information on it and promptly throwing it away. "I think I like being bald." I giggled "Maybe I'll stay this way for a while. Valerie will just have to deal."