All Comments on 'The Underground Pt. 01'

If the escalators on any London Underground station become congested they close the station, that's the LAW - they don't let people get shoved onto crowded platforms or esalators, that's how people get killed. And FYI, there are no phone repeaters or transmitters on London Underground trains, nor are there any in the tunnels, so a cell-phone won't work down there. And what's a 'control booth'? I've lived in London all my life and use the underground several times a day and I've never seen one. At any and every London Underground station, you buy your ticket or top-up your 'Oyster' smart-card at the machines and just card-through the ticket barrier. I can tell you've never been to London in your life, why didn't you just set your story in a place you've actually been to and know a little about?

...in English!

and much too short for a story with such great possibilities. I assumed the English were supposed to know their own language. A shake of the head is a sideways movement indicating a negative not a positive response. A nod (up and down movement of the head) is an affirmative response!

an interesting mix of unlikely events - man goes shopping with MiL and SiL, tube platform becomes unreachable and he all of a sudden fucks MiL. A little work on the build up and some background knowledge and it could have been fun.

Please continue this

Nice start... 5/5... you can go along way with this.

Just wondering why you chose for them to be step-relatives. Not complaining... you are the author and as such you have the right to construct the story as you see fit.

Thanks for sharing.