by Tsquare19
Not only HOT, but manages to be thought provoking.
Very well done, and looking forward to a lot more
Very well written (minus small typos and grammar)! I think I get where you're going with this, but the narrator is starting to get annoying. He's very wimpy, but I am assuming you're working up to something very good. Love the intimacy and the depth of thought. Very good stuff! Keep up the great work!
i can't find either character likable. the girl is a selfish bitch and the guy is a stupid wimp. the dynamic is interesting but that's pretty much all i can say about it. in my opinion as the story develops Kara should remain aloof to John and not end up falling in love with him which is where you seem to be going with this.
I'm loving the strife he is dealing with teasing with him getting moments of what he desires. Predictable base line story of the 2 meeting on set, but works well. I hope you keep going. and yes I would suggest a better editor. You can use one of us volunteer editors if you have not the resource or you have another already.
Loving all 3 parts so far, but i was kinda disappointed when she caved to her brother. Can't wait to read the rest!
This chapter is by far the best so far. It has far less of the brother saying stupid things and repeatedly feeling unsure of himself. I'm looking forward to the coming chapters.
I've been reading stories here for a long time. This is one of the best stories I'v read so far. The story line is great. I can't wait to read more. Oh, and just so you know, this is the first story I've felt a need to leave a comment on.
My first comment on here as well eagerly awaiting the next part don't stretch it out to far please this is a great story! Love your writing style and hope for more.
made me think of one of my fav songs " If You're Gone " . It's that feeling of ' he has her yet doesn't HAVE her'. Very well done. Author hits some unique poignant moments.