All Comments on 'The Visit Ch. 02'

This story had all the makings of a great one, but you need an editor because there was some very poor grammar and spelling. Also, you need to be less mechanical in your descriptions and add more feeling. E.g. how did it feel to be pissed on? What did the wife feel as her stockings slid down her legs?

A good story line but could use some editing. One of the things that bother me on this site are authors that say "to be continued" at the end and don't!

If you have no intention of continuing then say "The End".