The Wallflower Ch. 07

"I'm tired of your shit, Brandon!" she yelled at him. Brandon laughed deep in his throat as he came closer to her ear.

"Oh you think you're some hot shit that you can disrespect me now, bitch?" Brandon said. He continued to laugh but it began to die out. "You raise your hand to me again, I will beat the hell out of you. You hear me?"

Silence passed between them.

"Ahhh, so you think because you wearin' this short ass dress that you real woman now, huh? That you too good to talk to a dude like me? Shaking your ass at me like I can't have you? Trying to get with Puerto Rico over there, huh? Like he wants you? Please. Bitch, underneath all those clothes and makeup you still ugly as hell." He leaned back in his seat. She could feel her body became frozen against him.

"You ain't too good for anyone. And I'm here to remind you. You finally feel good about getting with a guy. A guy finally noticed you, huh? Well any guy that high and loaded would think a skinny Precious like you would look like a Nicki Minaj. Especially a guy desperate in taking a girl home. You saw him drinking. Any man would have to get drunk before sleeping with you because you're dark... stupid... and ugly." He said this with a tone of finality as he laid back.

Her body began to shake as the tears began to roll down her face. Lily tried to still her body, but the harder she tried, the more the tears fell down. She wanted to wipe away her tears before he could see her cry, but Brandon still restrained her. After awhile he let her go. Lily hurriedly moved her arms away from him and dabbed at her eyes to not mess up her makeup.

"Go ahead. Cry. Ruin all that Cinderella magic so you can turn right back into an ordinary ugly bitch."

"Fuck you, Brandon," she said under her breath.

"What did you-" Brandon started, but Lily was tired of him talking.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, BRANDON ATREIDES!" She yelled loud enough over the music that several people looked in their direction. "I am tired of your shit! I'm too dark! I'm too stupid! I'm too ugly! I know that! I'm all of that, but when you do everything you can to remind me of that every day and you DARE to put your hands on me, then yeah..." She glared down at him. "I am too good for you."

Brandon sat there dumbstruck, shocked at what she had just said. After awhile, he came to his senses and his body began to tense and his breathing became erratic as he literally looked as if he was seething his anger. Lily didn't care no more. She turned her back at him and picked up her soda. She turned back towards him and threw it in his face before throwing the empty can at his feet. As her heels clicked away, she said "Cool off, hot head."

As she walked farther away, she heard Brandon bellowing threats at her. Lily rolled her eyes. One thing she did note was that Brandon was going to get her back for this offense.

Lily went to the dance floor to go find Vanessa. When she found Vanessa, she was dancing with some guy. She went over and yelled, "I'm going to go home! I'll get a taxi!"

"What's wrong?" Vanessa asked, openly worried.

"Nothing! I just feel like going home! I'll see you later!" Vanessa gave Lily a quick hug before going back to dancing. Lily went outside and called a cab. When it finally came, she got in and gave him the address of her house. As she rode, Lily sank into the seat and closed her eyes.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

'Thank you dear Jesus for my bed,' she said as she slid out of her heels. Lily let out an audible sigh as she laid face first on her bed. It may not have been the softest bed, but it was soft enough to want to come back to everyday.

As she was about to close her eyes, a faint blue light came through her peripheral vision, 'AGHH! I'm too tired!" But she no good and well the Spirit liked to pull sadistic pranks if she ignored him, and she had even little energy to deal with that.

She sat up in her bed and looked at the wall.

So how was your night?

She heard the knife plop down her bed beside her, so she picked it up and went towards the wall.

It was a little good. A little bad. Still had a good time. Why aren't you talking tonight?

When The Spirit took the knife from her, she felt something like finger but the texture was ...was like tingly feathers. She had no other way to describe it. The feel of him caused a jolt to go down her spine...and it felt good. She heard a tap on the wall, drawing her attention back to it.

Nicholas is more drunk than usual. When he got in he had to crawl up the stairs with the help of his mum. When I tried to take control, the room swirled and moved so fast that I thought I would throw up, so I let him be. If I used him, I wouldn't be intelligible and I may be affected to do something rash...What was bad about tonight?

Lily sighed when she picked up the knife to respond.

Just an asshole. I handled it.

How was he an asshole, he wrote.

He's an old bully. He hasn't gotten through his head yet that this isn't high school.

A few seconds ticked by before The Spirit scribbled out the next message.

Did he beat you?

No, she wrote back.

Then why are their bruises all down your arms?

Lily took that chance to look down at her wrists 'Were they that noticeable?' She looked down to see purple fingerprints around her wrists. It would be hard not to see them. As she looked up her arms, she saw several other smaller marks on her skin but just as purple.

We struggled.

The Spirit snatched the knife out of her hand and carved the message slow and hard into the wall as if anger was beginning to bubble over.

Struggling doing what?

I was trying to get away from him. He just wanted to talk shit to me.

And that involves putting his hands on you?

Lily shifted on her feet and bit her lip. She didn't have to hear the scratching on the wall to tell that he was seething with fury. She didn't know how to explain it to him without causing him anymore anger.

I handled it. She simply wrote.

If "handling it" doesn't involve his hands being cut off and singed close so he can never touch you again, I don't believe what you're saying for one minute.

I told him off and threw soda in his face.

There was a complete moment of silence.

Hold on.

Another moment of silence,

Your telling me that this guy has put his hands on you for God knows how long, has left bruises on your skin for years, and has verbally abused you. But all you did for all those years of mistreatment was cuss him out and pour your drink over his head? And you call this handling it?

I threw it in his face.

I DON'T CARE! The bastard is still breathing!

Lily crossed her arms and stared daggers into the wall.

I didn't ask for your commentary. I handled it the best way that I could. You don't know what this guy has done to me and you don't know my life. All I thought about was getting away. I didn't want to stay around to put his hands on me more than he usually does. I wasn't going to stay around and be abused more than I had to. You have no idea what it's like to be me.

Lily felt the tears pouring down her face as she dropped the knife to the ground. She wiped the tears away, smearing the makeup on her face. She stood up to Brandon. After four years of her life, she had stood up to him. Now the Spirit was telling her that it wasn't enough. Screw him, then. She was proud of herself.

Once her tears were cleared, she looked up at the dying light on the wall just when it was about to go out.

I won't know what it's like to be you unless you tell me.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

"Lily," a voice said above her.

Lily tried opening her eyes but they were too heavy.

"Lily, get up," the voice said again.

Lily rolled over on her side and continued to sleep.

"Ok, you made me do this." Lily felt her body become airborne and the next thing she knew, she felt herself drowning in freezing water. Lily eyes shot open and began gasping for air. She immediately began trying to swim for dear life, but soon noticed that she was swatting against the air. She finally got her eyes to focus clearly to see that she was staring at the bathroom ceiling.

'What the-' her thoughts began.

And when she laid still, she noticed that her back was lying on a slippery solid ground. She sat up and noticed that she was in the bathtub and when she turned her head, she found the person who put her in it. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, Nicholas peered at her with his elbows on the side of the tub.

"You asshole! You could have drowned me!" Lily screamed at him.

"Aren't you over exaggerating just a little bit," Nicholas said looking at her bored. "The water only goes up to your ankles."

Lily pushed her lip out at him. "Why in the world did you put me in a tub full of water?"

"You were sleeping on the hardwood floor with your makeup smeared over your face. You hadn't even removed your clothes from last night. I thought you were drunk."

"Aren't you supposed to be busy recovering from a hangover? In fact, I think you need this cold bath more than I do." With a devilish smile, Lily grabbed his forearm and pulled him in the tub with her, landing him beside her.

"Dammit, Lily! I have to go to work in the next hour." He tried gripping the edge of the tub but ended up on top of Lily when he slipped.

"Get off me, Nicholas!" Lily yelled flailing at him.

"Not like I wanna be, cowgirl!" Nicholas growled back at her.

"You're crushing me!"

"Well you're the one who pulled me in this stupid bath tub!"

"You're the one who put me in this tub in the first place! Now I'm all wet."

"How's that different from your usual condition?" he smirked at her devishly.

"Shut up!" With enough wriggling, she flipped herself on top of him and climbed out the bathtub. "Now get out so I can take a shower."

"Why not just shower together?" he said giving her a flirtatious wink. "Save some water together."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. No red eyes to be seen. Just Nicholas being his usual. She went towards Nicholas and took a hold of his hair and lifted him and made him stand up to the height of Lily's short stature. As she guided him out the door she said, "Knowing you, you already had a shower. All you need to do is go change your clothes. So get out and change your clothes." Once she put him outside the door, she released his hair and closed the door.

When she got out from taking her shower, she looked back at herself. The woman she saw last night was gone. She saw the ordinary girl looking back at her. She was just the ordinary dark skinned girl. Like she had always been. She sighed as she began to twist her hair to relieve her hair shrinkage.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

Lily walked down the stairs in a pair of shorts, tank top, and sneakers ready to enjoy her Saturday off. There was no work. No Nicholas. No Spirit. Just the perfect day to laze around and do whatever she wanted to do.

Lily said good morning to Mrs. Yates as she retrieved her Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. She got a bowl and joined Mrs. Yates at the table.

"So how's it going with you and my son?" Mrs. Yates said before sipping her coffee.

"He's an asshole as usual," she said taking a spoonful of cereal. Mrs. Yates chuckled deep in her throat at Lily's honesty. Lily smiled as well. "But I'm getting used to it. I think he knows it though, so he tries to one up himself. Has he always been that way?"

"He's been like that since the day he was able to talk. I'd be called by the principal office every week when he was in elementary school because he would either insult the teacher, make a girl cry, or got into a fight. When the principal asked him why he did it, he would shrug and say 'They wanted my opinion, and I was honest. If they don't like the truth, don't ask me for it'. To this day, you can always expect honesty out of him." Mrs. Yates laughed at the memory and flipped through the newspaper on the table.

"Amazing," Lily heard Mrs. Yates mumbled.

"What is?" Lily asked scooping another spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

"Oh, it's just amazing the world we live in. People want honesty unless it hurts. That's how my husband was," Mts. Yates said thickly in her British accent.

"Whatever did happen to Nicholas's dad?"

"I divorced him. Don't know where he is and I don't care."

"How old was Nicholas when you divorced him?"

"I can't remember at the moment, dear. Nicholas wouldn't have liked him anyway." Mrs. Yates took a sip of her tea before she leaned back in her seat with a faraway look of remembrance in her gray eyes. "He was a man full of secrets. Always hiding something. Always lying while he smiled in your face. Nicholas wouldn't have liked his father much. He can't stand liars and he can't stand secrets. I guess that's why he treats me the way he does." She sighed. "He can't hide behind a mask and pretend he's the perfect son. He's flawed, but I love him. His father would never love a son so flawed."

Lily saw Mrs. Yates looking pass the present and back to whatever had happened into her past. Once she was done, Mrs. Yates looked back over at Lily and gave her a faint smile. "Which makes me question why he hangs around trash like Anna Belle." Her face scrunched up as if her name alone brought a bad taste to her mouth. "You know when he comes home drunk, he's been out there with her, right?"

"Oh?"

"Of course, he's doesn't hang out with her alone. He hangs out with his friends from the tattoo parlor. Somehow she just manages to get to him."

"Well in his right mind, he hates liars. When he's drunk, I guess he can't tell the difference. I guess she knew that in the first place and took advantage of him when he was drunk," Lily said, presenting that possibility.

"Would explain a lot. Just wished he had a girl more like you," Mrs. Yates said giving her a teasing smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "Please. I'm not two-faced like Anna Belle, but I have my share of secrets as well."

"As everyone does, but there are three kinds of people who keep secrets. There are good people who keep secrets to protect others. There are horrible people who keep secrets because they want to continue their selfish deeds. And there are scarred people who keep their secrets because they are hurt and they believe that if anyone else knew they would be viewed as ugly." Mrs. Yates looked directly into Lily's eyes, holding her in place with her knowing gray eyes.

Lily broke eye contact with her and continued to eat her breakfast. "By the way, around noon could you take Nicholas's lunch to him. Boy keeps forgetting."

Lily looked over at the clock and saw it was eight a.m. "Sure."

"Well, I'll see you later. I'm going to my gardening class." Mrs. Yates pushed back her seat and got. Lily must have been looking at her strangely because she turned around and said, "What? I don't just sit around here while you and Nick go to work. I have a life too." She gave Lily a wink and went out the front door.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

The bell jingled as Lily entered inside the tattoo parlor. All eyes were on her as she came in. The male tattoo artists and patrons stared at her ass as she went up to the receptionist. Usually Lily wouldn't leave the house in shorts but right now, but she was too lazy to put on jeans and it was too hot for that anyway.

"Hey, I'm here to give Nicholas his lunch," Lily told the bald man at the desk. She really should learn his name.

"He's in the break room waiting for you," he answered.

"Thanks," Lily said, smiling at him.

"No problem, sweetheart." He reciprocated with a smile of his own.

As she walked to the back to the break room, she spotted Anna Belle staring daggers into her. Lily had to stifle the urge to flip her off. After standing up to Brandon, she didn't feel threatened by anyone at this point. If Anna Belle wanted to act like a jealous little girl, let her. Lily wasn't going to stoop to her level

When she went into the break room, Nicholas didn't even notice her. He was too busy with his head in a book. Lily took a look at the title. It was 1984 by George Orwell. "That's a good book," she commented.

Nicholas nearly jumped out of his seat. He looked up at her in surprise. "Jesus, you scared the hell out of me," he said with a hand to his heart as he tried to catch his breath.

Lily laughed at him as she watched him recovering from his mini heart attack. He wore a Rolling Stone tank top with the iconic red mouth with the tongue out. The shirt showed off the colorful tattoos that went down the entire length of his arms. He had his usual nose stud and red snakebites in his mouth. The newest addition was the chained ear cuff that connected to one of his snake bites. 'How the hell can he be so attractive with so many piercings?' she thought to herself.

"Stop laughing at me, cowgirl," Nicholas said, beginning to sit straight up in his seat.

"Well, you would've known I was here, if you took your nose out of the book," Lily said, sticking her tongue out at him. She sat the brown paper bag on the table. Nicholas snatched the bag away as soon as it touched the table.

"It was at a good part." Nicholas took the overstuffed sandwich out of the Ziploc bag.

Lily picked up the book and scanned over a few sentences in the book. "Nicholas...you were at one of the sex scenes."

Nicholas turned a blush red before answering. "I'm not reading the book for the sex scenes, cowgirl, so you can stop looking at me with that dirty mind of yours." He took a large bite out of his sandwich and looked back up at her.

Lily gave him a look that told him that she didn't believe it for a minute. "Then tell me what is so interesting about this book that is not a sex scene."

Nicholas licked mayonnaise off his fingers before he answered. "That's easy. What's interesting is how they fear a man that does not exist and never did exist. The book describes this government as if it is a religion. The people directly in the Party act like mini gods that ensure everyone acts right or else they are tortured and punished. This Big Brother they talk about is no more than a false God they use and hide behind, so they can continue to deceive people that they are good." Nicholas made a disgusted snort in his throat. "Makes me sick. Thinking about living in a world where my rights and emotions, everything that makes me human, are considered an abomination when they themselves are an abomination from Satan himself."

"Wow...I never thought of it that way. I just thought of it as a warning about what happens if we let the central government become too strong. Then they would be able to decide what is illegal right down to how I feel."

"Isn't that what government is basically. When people don't believe in an actual God, they have physical entities take his place. But any organization made up of people has a possibility of being corrupted at any time. I mean our government doesn't even treat everyone in this country fairly, but yet we still expect it to treat us fairly. Like in the book, all the government wants is praise and loyalty to the party. That's why they don't want you to feel anything but loyalty and praise- even when the main character is fucking his wife. So in a way, isn't government like a god or a religion in some way?"