All Comments on 'The Walls Came Tumbling Down'

Jesus, what are you a college kid that got infected by covid, brainless idiot

Why the hell would Alan stay celibate for five years? He owed Kate nothing, least of all fidelity after the appalling way she treated him and his parents.

Kate might've been lied to, but she flew off the handle and never even gave him a chance to defend himself before she jumped into bed with Aaron. None of this nightmare would've happened if she wasn't such a gullible fool.

Kate refusing to defend the assault charges and going to prison ended up hurting Alan just as much. Throwing the disloyal slut in prison is perfect for a BtB, but for a reconciliation it makes no sense at all.

...did I just try to read? Seriously. Take some basic English lessons. And don't ask MM for advice. About anything.

. . jumping the shark.

A few misspelled words that make it seem as though English is not your primary language, but other than that, decently written. I couldn’t help thinking about You Only Live Twice and Kill Bill, part 1.

Loved it but couldn't find the other parts of the story you referenced apart from the original. 5 stars

I loved the story but you really do need an editor. At times it was very difficult to read.

Way over the top.

Alan was not told the second kid was his until Kate was begging to be taken back and he just accepted her statement as true, forgetful that, DNA testing on both kids before going through the adoption system if for no other reason than to reinforce the lack of trust with Kate.

Alan should never have taken the boys to visit Kate. He had to go years with getting to be in their lives, make her feel the same pain.

While she may never have cheated sexually, what she did the kids in some ways was even worse.

Reconciliation should not have been a part of this.

1 star

But seriously, I don't know how he could wait 7 years for any sex and I can't see how he could have sex with her. She is a woman who didn't give him a chance at all and took the side of scumbag and then for years had sex with that guy hating him. Even when she came to him with the boys she was unsure how she felt. Now he takes the damaged goods back?

If he does want her back I still feel even after the jail time he needs to keep the boys and let her have visitation but not alone. She needs a job and a place of her own. He tells her she has to not date and if she does or has sex with someone else she loses her head. He goes to Mrs Chows when he gets the urge and then 7 years later decide if he keeps her.

Oh, and as soon as the boys are old enough to understand he should explain why he was gone in their youth. Tell them how mom was wrong and a cheating slut and kept him away.

It has been a long, long time since I have read a story here with such disregard for basic constructs of writing and respect for any prospective readers. Saying Microsoft spell check is your editor should tell everyone how you feel in regard to them being able to read your story without extra care or distraction. Spell check doesn’t determine whether or not you could be bothered to type in the right word or not. You added nothing to this story except for tedious fortuitous gratuitous violence. I don’t normally say this but if you cannot put better effort into your stories please don’t try to publish another.

Now that's how one gets revenge, lol, most definitely rates 5 stars

but I didn't like it much. The writing was good, nothing against the author. I think you did a very good job in storytelling. But the story is just another issue.

Husband just tilted over once ex-wife asked for forgiveness. Yes, it wasn't her fault but really she didn't waste much time after convicting her ex-husband she jumped on the next penis readily available. Faithful wives don't do that even if they think their spouses are guilty of cheating...it would take a year before they touch another penis. But this one is just as ready to rumble as quickly as her ex-husband got kicked to the streets. I think this ex-wife has compulsive issues. Just jumped to action what she thinks is best without a thought. I'd be wary of bringing her back if I was Alan.

2 star for the story. 4 star for the author.

excellent writing.

I like a happy ending and this was for the main character.

But really, would you take her back?

She cheated the day she got the "evidence", didnt look into it, didnt discuss it?

And her high values on fidelity seemed to not apply to herself.

I’m afraid I really don’t care for these stories with violence. This one seemed over the top in a number of ways. Emotions and responses seemed unrealistic. The author could really use an editor to correct spelling, grammar, and an incorrectly used words (words that sound and look similar to the correct one but are not); words are a writers’ tools and can do good work when misusing their tools.

Perfect ending to a really f***ed-up original story! Hopefully, even the ANON Army of BTB will see the logic in reconciliation. You masterfully added some details to reinforce their reconciliation, but for some, nothing by Bravo-Tango-Bravo on nuclear-powered steroids is not severe enough! Thanks, again!!!

good story and chuckled when you kept referencing this site.. Well done man

God, what a f-ing mess. The story was basically good, but you must have slept all the way through junior high school English. Your use of punctuation is horrible. Many amateur writers have problems with homonyms--words that sound alike, but have different spellings and meanings. "Their, there, and they're" are the most commonly messed up examples. For the record--"coy" means shy; "koi" is a type of often expensive goldfish. When you write about Coy in a pond, you come off looking like an idiot. You need a flesh and blood editor, someone who is fairly literate to review your work. Trust me, it will help a lot.

Ok, so there are a few spelling and gramatical errors, but they didn't spoil the story, and would have been sorted with a read through/edit.

I enjoyed it immensely.

Five stars.

I like the way you finished the story with some serious revenge, but you managed to rehabilitate Kate to get the RAAC. I’ve not seen Yakuza used in LW before, so that’s a new one. I like a reconciliation if it’s earned, and Kate earned hers the hard way. My only question would be, why would Aaron try to get her back after she cut off his tallywhacker? Entertaining story.

It was entertaining but the RAAC just wasn't believable for me.

All that and it ended up being a WIMP story. 1 star

Not a good reconciliation story in my opinion. Even if Alan did cheat on her, thats not how a human being reacts. I mean, alot of people like to burn their spouses to the ground on Lit but her actions were just way too extreme. By the way, she did not apologize for most of her actions, only for the results of the divorce. I didnt see any good and strong personal traits that would have convinced me to get back with her. She had no morals and not a single decent bone in her body and Alan shouldnt have been blinded by love anymore at this point.

Much better than the original ending.

Balance seems restored. Not BTB, not

RAAC, but that’s cool. I liked it, thanks

om56 for the reading pleasure.

* * * *

Your writing style is great, but the husband gave forgiveness way too easy. That made the earlier part of the story unrealistic.

It was good, a bit lacking in places, though nothing to wet myself over.

Have to admit every one was kind of hung up on DP'ing, kinda got to the eye roll stage on that bit.

Overall good, the end was a bit too easy on the reconciliation though, but they did have 5 years of counseling. If 5 years worth didnt fix em nothing would.

I’m confused regarding the main character. It seems like the author just changed their mind about Alan’s feelings and motivation when he left ex and Aaron tied up. Before that event, Alan just wanted his son back and didn’t want anything to do with her. Afterwards, he was completely in love with her again, forgave her stupidity and wanted to resume their life again. This is why proofreaders are needed.

To understand this story you must read the CW- 'Hello Walls' or you will not understand this story. There are things that are in the first story that is referenced in this one but not spelled out.

.

and yet no link

that WOULD have lost you a star, but as you wrote a cuck story without using the cuck tag to let us know you get one star for lying the the audience

I am a professional at screwing up my constructs. If you want to edit my stories sign up or shut up.

I need a female editor to help with a female character.

after all she did, why would he want her back?

Totally believable that MM was involved with this.

Bellyaching and self-dealing will get you 1* every time.

Get an editor.

But then you went and ruined it by how quickly he forgave and how he was acting all "I love you, never stopped" blah blah blah, pretty much straight away. It was really hard to read. I was ok with the reconciliation given the circumstances and how she was tricked but thought she should have had to earn it. 3 stars.

On January 21, 1994, Lorena Bobbitt was found not guilty due to temporary insanity, meaning she did not have to spend time in prison for wounding John. Following the acquittal she was sent to a hospital for a 45-day psychiatric evaluation, as required by Virginia state law, after which she was released.

Just pointing out IRL the wife would have served no time.

Well, maybe a little far fetched with the mafia and all this, but definitely a better ending than the original.

Can’t resize this page therefore cannot read it. Not all of us have tha same eyesight powers. Pity.!

Your obviously a good writer but a lot of things in this story just made no sense. You start it off with him hating her for what she did then he forgives her in seconds! She stated she had missed him when you didn't show that at all in the story, seemed like she was quite happy in her life before he kidnapped them.

And I think the biggest problem I had was he said the situation basically killed his parents. She helped kill his parents by not allowing them to see their grandkids. They did nothing wrong, why would she do that? He must not have liked them much to not care what she did to them. I would never forgive her for that.

You didn't make her work for it at all. Just hey im sorry, I was wrong. No worries babe, let's get back together! Very weak.

Decent story until he took her back. All three would have disappeared slowly and painfully if it was me. And what the hell is the Anon before whining about violence?? Must be a Master Soy Boy if the "violence" in this story is too much for his delicate senses.

Two things:

1.) ‘Did they pay up?’

I would have written “We sent them videos of theirs families in bed sleeping, with a note “Now it is $30 million.” The money was deposited the next day.”

2.) The money went directly into a numbered/anonymous Cayman account. Therefore no taxes.

Now, if he had said “Deposit $25 million, after taxes, into this Bank of America account.”? That I could see. They (the bad guys) of course have their own CPAs to calculate how much to deposit into an American account so, after the one time tax by the IRS, it would be $25 million. That actually might have been more fun, since it would have been more expensive for the bad guys; maybe around $35 million, or there abouts.

Also, I recall the original story, but could not find “The Wall” or “The Walls”, or “Hello Walls”, nor an author Dr Know so as to get the original.

Thanks for the work.

The problem about many RAAC stories is that cheater often goes too far. There is then no way back without completely selling out your main character, which you did. She is essentially responsible for the deaths of his parents - he says as much - and yet she is welcomed back into the family after a few tears. CW went so far with Kate that reconciliation was impossible. You write well, but you were on a hiding to nowhere from the getgo.

A so, so, story.

It was not very coherent, and quite over the top. But I enjoyed it enough to give you 3/5.

Nice try but no way in hell.

I'm not buying what you're trying to sell.

I did appreciate that you recognized turning her into a deranged slut wasn't really in line with her character but there is no real coming back from what she did by immediately fucking Aaron after he was drugged and recorded as well as being so vicious as to deny him parental rights and even cutting off the grandparents.

You also turned him into a wimp by keeping him celibate and faithful to a deranged count that was getting what passed for brains fucked out by Aaron for years.

Bad, bad and bad.

You got talent though because it was readable, despite editing stuff, and the flow was good.

As entertainment it was good and also a better ending than where it was left before. The glaring thing for me was the last page3 which was written in almost a childlike way. Was this from another different author / child? The person, style and quality writing fell away in a dramatic fashion as the following attests.

Alan started, "laughing to himself hysterically."

What's so funny ask Kate?

I was always told to kill a snake you cut off its head."

"Kate started laughing realizing what he was talking about."

Kate looked into Alan's eyes with a pleading look, "is there a chance for us Alan?"

Alan sat there sweating, ringing his hands, "God I hope so. I worked hard to take back what was mine. I knew I could drive a wedge between the two of you, but ultimately it was you who had to make the final choice to come back."

Kate explained to Alan they had couple counseling there at the prison and ask if he would go with her to see them. Alan smiled and told her, "just tell me the time, I know the place," laughed Alan.

Kate replied, "smart ass! By the way, Alan some of the girls here have ask me to ask you when they get out if you need anything to please give them a call."

A couple of critical paragraphs near the end really let down this work!

Great story. Alan did as I would have.

over 60 my ass

The toughest session was when Alan told Kate their situation had basically killed his parents because of the stress of the divorce and not being able to see his kid. Kate was crushed because she knew she the rejected their pleads to see their grandchild. And all communications stopped. She never knew they died.

So she killed his mom and dad and its okay, lol fucking moron.

in what part of Asian culture do you think they would let that go fucking moron

in what NA part did you spawn from shit head that a man would allow this to stand

opps second kid surprise, nawwhhh no biggie i am am Witten but a fucktard who some how thinks ill be able to just get by this to, with no internal issue, lucky thing i am fucktards character hugh, self-respect and morals not a issue.

So where are the stories that came before this to be found....no search here comes up with anything

You are NOT a good writer

Your grasp of English grammar would make a teenager blush

Kate CHOSE to put her trust in Aron over her husband, nobody forced her to do that( this is 21st century for god's sake! We are not living in middle ages!) She went totally berserk on Alan, didn't give him any opportunity to explain himself and then she made sure her husband couldn't get his son's custody. But I guess nothing can stop you when you decide to write a soulless RAAC.

Little over the top but a ggod story.

Like the reference to the John Wayne movie “Big Jake” were Richard Boone uses the phrase, “your fault, my fault, etc” Wayne uses it back at him as well.

Liked the ending as well but think they could have appealed the 5 year sentence as too harsh.

Hmmm... My post didn't show.

I like your writing, despite editing problems, but you didn't sell me on the reconciliation.

Must have missed it. When exactly did your hero go brain dead?

Meh. I'm a simple, violent man. A proper revenge to me requires far more than extortion based on the threat of brutal death and giving their women the chance to do physical harm to them. Even if I let these motherfuckers live (and I don't really see why I would), they are going to have plenty of scars, broken bones, joint damage, and trauma to the ol' twig and berries that will forever mark the occasion of our interaction in their memories. Oh and the RAAC turn was too quick.

Please get an editor before you submit another word! Try reading your story aloud, with an audience, and ask them to give you an honest opinion.

You only get a 3-average.

If he was so connected to the Japanese mob - why did he let his wife rot in a jail cell for 5 years? There were so many other inconsistencies and things that did not click, it left the story kind of FLAT.

What does RAAC mean?

Still needs more work. I read your first story and this one your newest there has been improvement but the writing still feels awkward. The conversation between characters is better though. Quite liked the storyline but the story didn't flow it didn't feel natural.

Using Word will correct mis-spellings but won't correct a mis-spelling's context. For example when Akio offers Alan the envelope he says his father said you wouldn't except it . The spelling of except is correct but the word should have been 'accept'.

If his friend Akio and his father were that powerful,why did they not persuade the DA that it would be in his interest not to pursue Kate.?

1* This story is now on my top ten worst stories. This writer's grammar and punctuation are far worst than a 5th grader. This RAAC has no basis to justify it. After all Luke and Aaron did, they are still breathing? I call bullshit.

illiterate

She destroyed his parent life his and tourchured him threw his children and he takes her back (CHICK -cunt- STORY ) She should have been put in her place as he was . Get a clue on life/ story made me sick to my stomach .

It started off as a good read but fell off pretty fast. It became a unbelievable farce. You don’t leave those 2 fuckers alive if you want to sleep nights., no matter the power of a Japanese gang lord.

wow..... the beginning was good til she got arrested. but what she did deserves nothing less than unholy scorched earth regardless if it was unintentional. she basically killed his parents and he ended back up with her after he told her she was responsible for it.. this goes into my top 3 worst endings on here. sorry but if the parents were alive then i can see the end, ending the way it did.

Find it hard to believe she got ten years for cutting Aaron's cock off,you don't get that for manslaughter.

...nor the author “Dr Knows”.

Any help???

The goldfish in those Japanese gardens are Koi fish, not Coy. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

@etchiboi: search for a title “CW - Hello Walls” including the dash -or-

Search for the author “Dr_Know’s” including the space holder (_) and the apostrophe.

Etchiboy the details you are looking for are:

Author - Dr_know

Story is >> CW - Hello walls

98% great! 2% RAAC Crap ONE STAR

I deliberated hard on this. I was leaning towards a 5* at one point before it got softer and preachy about Literotica. I think the point that made me settle on a 3* is that I think she did cheat. going back to the first story and what was repeated here "Kate immediately thought you were cheating on her. The next day at the office Aaron 'comforted' Kate in his office. She sucked him off and he had her legs spread before you could say 'cheating spouse'."

If you can remember the 1st story, she came home drunk and ANGRY! He was working hard on her by that time. It just wasn't believable that she didn't cheat.

Not sure I would have took her back...

A really rough first draft. Two stars.

Great story with a wonderful ending (jaybee186)

Extra star for violence! Good story, grammar problems though are a little distracting. Wow, people are getting sort of petty in comments for FREE READING material. Have a good one.

I'm only giving this one a 3 because I really don't know what to think. RAAC might make some sense, but this crime syndicate stuff is pretty over the top. The original stories begged for a sequel, a continuation, but this one is sort of an alternative and sequel combined, and suffers from that lack of clear purpose. Also, the "Kate didn't cheat until the email" premise doesn't really wash for me. But...Alan's softer approach did get him the boys. Not sure, though, that Kate had to be part of the package. She convicted him without a trial. Why shouldn't he just find someone new and fresh? Kate is pretty damned tainted. Even if she didn't do a DP with Aaron and Luke.

The grossest RAAC anywhere on this site. And considering some of the ubercuck authors that's saying something.

One of the worst ending stories on this site. Completely worthless! I wish I could give negative stars.

While the writing is ok, the reconciliation defies any sort of logic whatsoever. This is a woman who is either incredibly gullible, naïve and stupid as well as being completely u trustworthy. She was looking for an excuse and had a very poor one handed to her. That was nice that she wised up a little, but for her to be welcomed back by her victims? Unlikely. Average story at best, horrible, unbelievable ending.

With stories like this I can't help to wonder if the writer is just trolling knowing most hate stuff like this.

The RAAC is a little too advanced but frankly stay 7 years without sexual relations? it is completely absurd.

I laugh at stories where the MC can take revenge on everyone, can be mean, but above all can't have sex.

Ridiculous.

Ok....I give....why waste our time with a RAAC tale that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever... 7 year without sex because he is hopeful of getting his brain dead slut wife back.... then all the plot holes...which require excessive Deux ex Machina to bridge... All in all this tale just requires to much credulity on the readers part with little help from the Author's plot...

1 star...and I really dislike this tale

I liked it.

5 stars for BTB on the shithead. -2 stars for her suffering no penalty for what she did to Alan and especially his parents (and then suffering punishment for what she did to shithead)

4. Not bad but some problems. I like the reconciliation approach (maybe wouldn't call it RAAC as she had been duped, it was not her fault what happened and seems like she only slept with the guy after he tricked her into think the MC had cheated) but him waiting 7 years for her was a bit strange especially the two years he thought she might have been involved in betraying him. I think that part of the story might have worked better if her jail sentence never happened, her snipping Aaron added little to the story save maybe showing her anger. Might have worked just as well for her to ruin him financially. Also wasn't too much of the "powerful friends" thing for the MC. Felt like the revenge wasn't his really, would have never happened if not for his powerful friends.

Who liked after the boys whilst Kate was in jail?.

" You have nothing to be forgiven for. I let the snake into our lives." - ????? Too out of the blue. What Kate did was unforgiveable. The cutting off the balls and the unknown kid were nice touches but Kate still had a lot of apologizing and explaining to do to be even merit a "start from scratch" relationship. Letting her go for 2 YEARS with the asshole was just way too long to forgive, even when she cut off his balls. Kate knew she was carrying his son, but didn't give him even a second though, just started fucking somebody else.....

CRAP!! Another Matt M. Why can't we get some decent writers on Lit.com Seems all the good ones are gone. FUCK!

Are you stupid?

Or did you hit your head as a child?

Because otherwise I can't imagine a sane person to say or write these type of shit.

She g9t a sentence of 10yrs fir chopping his dick.....what fucking bullshit legal system is this.

just an unrealistic & unbelievable action thriller with wimpy cuckold's emotional RAAC

rated 1*

A nice story but he should have burned her and left her.

The MC's wife is the weak link. I would have a hard time returning her to my life.

A woman who cheats like this will never be trustworthy. She will without a doubt do it again. If it was a one time mistake and she begged for forgiveness and actively trying to make amends maybe. But not after weeks or months later. Better to find a new woman who you can trust. So this ending leaves a bad taste and could have been better.

Meh this was not ad good as "Faked" by same author. But like that story the 10 years for chopping off Aaron's penis (her husband at the time) given that it is first and only offense, mother of two young children, the wretched deceit and manipulation to blow up her first marriage, Aaron's cheating, etc, if she actually gets a decent lawyer and doesn't plead guilty, she probably gets a short to medium stint in a psych ward (Lorena Bobbit anyone? She did zero jail time). Even if found guilty, no way the sentence is that steep. Judge would reduce ad he/she wants to get re-elected. While DA charged it under spousal abuse, her defense is a counter with his emotional cruelty and destruction of her marriage through fraud and rape of her first husband.

As far as reconciliation goes, seems like too much water under the bridge compared to "Faked". That wife waited until divorce was over, thohgh she took eberything in the divorce as hubby thiugh he was guilty, and only dated Randall (not married( and then went after Randall when she knew the truth. This was much longer she married Aaron despite him being a parasite and started f$cking him as soon as she saw the video with her husband drugged. Mrs Chow should be made to pay restitution for her establishment drugging him and raping him. The Yakuza coukd enforce that restitution. Also the wife was so clueless of not only the deceit and hoax but all the nefarious crao that Aaron and Lucas kept doing. She had zero empathy for her husband.

In Faked, Katrina started having misgivings and realized what a coward Randall was and was going to end it anyways after a few months, as she no longer derived any benefit from hurting her ex husband. Her the wife didn't care and was a true Old Testamnet wife, well except she is screwing Aaron as soon as the video is shown to her. They were bot dumb to not talk about Toronto. But for many guys too much water under the bridge with her remarrying and Aaron getting parental rights for both kids and marrying her as soon as divorce was over. Seems a bridge too far.

while im not beyond raac, it has to be under certain circumstances. Brief 'mistake' affairs where alcohol/drugs might have been involved, or blackmail where the spouse comes forward with it almost immediately, etc. However, she never gave him a chance to explain himself, went off and cheated, then she married the guy, and took the man's kids away from him. Sure, I get it, love is blind, and sometimes we'll overlook a lot of stuff to get back to where we once were, BUT this is just ridiculously unbelievable.

RAAC - Nope.