by Mackenzie Taylor
It was good; you did have a few errors, but I liked it. I would suggest taking a few extra minutes to read what you've written before submitting. G-d knows I need to do the same as well. :)
Without a leader this group of undead is starting to act alive! I'm enjoying the back and forth banter between Ni and Danroth and wondering what's going to happen when "winter" is over. In the mean time I can't wait to see what happens next.
The payoff at the end seemed too short! Great story though--can't wait for the next one.
I aprecate the fact that it has a story. its very intertainng, and I cant wait for more of the same.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I do need to make sure that I edit a bit better. My biggest problem is that I get so caught up reading that I forget to edit. I will having them edited from now on since I can see to get a handle on it. You'll definitively be finding out more about Danroth and Ni. Chapter 2 will be done soon. Enjoy!
I love, love, love this!! Please continue this story soon!!
A very well written and thoroughly enjoyable read. You have a real gift for scene setting and character. I look forward to reading more.