All Comments on 'The Warlock Pt. 07'

I like pops, to me it seems to read right.

Loving the whole story so far. As for Chloe you could have her 'try' a few but settle on pops in the end, I think it fits with Martin and Chloe's characters.

Chloe and Gwydion kissing in a tree...Lmao! Pops works just ducky, love. I'm not too sure how I feel about Sofia coming back to love and play...can't you find her a boy-toy of her own? I mean, sheesh...spread the love, baby!

All-in-all, a fabulous series. Please keep it up!

SC8

Ps- did Ajax survive 'playtime' with the girls? ;)

Pops? I'd say a simple dad would be more sincere and true as pops sound "old".

please take the time and make the chapters a but longer.

I really do enjoy reading this. Its fast paced and incredibly well thought out for something that is release at such a pace. There are a few little errors here and there (a missing word or homophone from spell checking) but, nothing glaring that I can recall. Mostly, because I am so engrossed while reading it that I just don't want to take the time to dwell on in.

As much as I hate to say it, and am sure that the rest of the people following this will hate me for doing it: I really wish you would take a little more time between submissions. NOT for editing or anything like that. I just want more at once. I took a few weeks off and came back to read the last three instalments. I was almost satisfied. So I'll be checking back daily for the next one.

I dated someone seven years younger than me and she always called me 'Old man.' Never did like 'Pops' its too close to the soda, cola and pop dissidence.

Anyway, sorry to take up sooooo much space. I wasn't sure if you had PM's on and every now and then I like to put my literal stamp of approval on something. Regardless of the fact that I am a stranger on the interwebz I still think my opinion matters.

Please keep writing and if you want any help let me know

I've really enjoyed your story so far. I agree you could do better than "Pops". To me "Pops" connotes 60+, graying/thinning hair and a paunch (oh lord, that's me!). Maybe "Daddy-O" or a tongue-in-cheek "Your Badassness" - OK not that! So far you have an excellent mix of action, sex and humor. You could end up with a decent e-book eventually!

Loved all of these. Would like to see it go further.

Its quick and easy to read - please keep going - thanks

When is April Fools 2 coming please???

How 'bout "Marty"?

Nobody else is going to call him that (from what these characters seem to be like so far) -- either because they already call him a different name because they've known him for so long, or they're just plain scared shitless of him -- and it sounds like it has the same kind of mix of respect and sass that you'd expect from a still-growing-in-power teenager who has finally found a home she can (at least slightly) let down her guard in.

That said, though, I'll also add that having her call him 'Marty' while he's instructing her on how not to get herself killed by doing something stupid wouldn't really sound right. In that case, I'd probably end up using an Honorific, instead of an Affectation.

Daddy Warlocks?

Love it so far!

Hi Ahaz! I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy this Story of your and I also wanted to thank you for the feedback you sent me

with best regards WWW

Clever and funny!

Nthusiastic

If you haven't already, you should repackage it for, at the very least, an ebook... might be good to think of eventually doing longer novels, maybe collaborating with someone else if you prefer the short story format, but the world you set up is interesting and the characters are strong.

More importantly, reading you work is just fun, thanks for sharing it.

Heh, I imagine a Paladin Dog would be a very, very good dog. Heaven help the spawn of evil cat next door though...

I just wanted to say I love your characters and phrasing in this story. Things like Martin thinking Chloe should only be drinking booze "in secret with friends of questionable morality" are a very nice touch.

It's nice but way too many inconsistencies. So he meets chloe and initially wants to use her for her power. Then she cries and suddenly in one day they develop a father/daughter relationship? Then his ex girlfriend shows up and his current girlfriend instantly wants them to become a permanent threesome. In less than an hour. Our Hero is supposedly supposed to be the baddest mother f'er and can beat up thousands of year old angels and demons and he's maybe, maybe 30 yrs old? It's just more than a little silly. Was into the first chapter and then it kind of all fell off the rails for me. Thanks for writing though.

His characterization is all over the place, the author has gone overboard trying to humanize the guy, and why does he get embarrassed so easily?

He's been with a succubus for years.

Yeah. Ex-girlfriend dumps him because her family says so. Shows up after five years, just when things start to heat up(politically and magically). Tells a story so loaded with bullshit you can smell it over the internet. Says she wants him back. And the response of your cold hearted super attorney/warlock is "Yeah, of course." So now instead of looking like an intelligent badass he looks like a pussywhipped moron.

Second time through this and its still a very good story

This story is perfect! You've combined the supernatural with the modern age, great character development and build ups to massive battles! All with hot sex thrown in like icing on the cake! When you make the reader love the characters so much they start worrying you might kill them off, then you know you're amazing writer! Someone commented on chapter one saying do not start reading this as it isn't finished. I surely hope that is not the case!

P.S. don't you dare kill off anyone!!!

I'd have made her fuck me in front of her father as a condition of her forgivness