All Comments on 'The Warlock Pt. 08'

anybody or everybody who planed to attack Martin has to think twice now, he has all or almost all planes covered.

I'm still enjoying this story. Thank you for taking the time to write it and post it here. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

As always, my only complaint is that it is too short, even if there is an explanation this time! ;-)

Damn, I wish I had the right to complain about how short the chapters are when they are so well written.

The shift is well done, introducing new elements easily, smoothly and keeping character.

I will be honest, I smell Intrepid_Fate in here, but it could just be another talented writer with a similar imagination.

Maybe an Eddie and the Cruisers story with a resurrection...

Either way, it's a GREAT story line with huge possibilities

Good Luck

I cannot wait for the next installment, but I suppose I will have to. Quality writing, keep going. I am a fan.

Rich T.

I can't really give any advice for making your story better. Anything I could hope to think of you'll get to in time, and the flow and quality of your stories is excellent. Take what time you need to keep yourself and your life in order, and give what ambrosia you choose to us when you can.

I just want to say thank you for this story. This is some paranormal romance type stuff, and if you ever wrote a full book, I would buy the hell out of it. Keep it up, please. I can't wait to see what you have in store for these people

Try to read through what you write sentence by sentence, in reverse order. That might help with any grammar/spelling errors. Otherwise, your work is solid.

The dialogue is good, its well thought out and constructed.

The only thing i'd say is you struggle with the same issue I do.

The speech flows like the story text, "and I will do this for you" probably should be "and i'll do this for you". Similarly the shortening of words doesn't need to be for each person, it can be for individual people in situations that are relaxed, while in more dramatic or emotional settings it can be done on purpose to emphasise points.

'i'll kill you" sounds to casual (in my mind) so I tend to go for "i will kill you!"/ "i'll fucking kill you"/ "i will fucking murder you"

Hope this helps and gets the point i'm trying to make, its something my editors have helped me out greatly with

JC

Read up to date over the last day.

I love the premise, and enjoy reading a good story where the sex is woven into the storyline rather than trying to create a story after you've decided what the sex scenes are.

Bring on more!

Chloe said she had already met the head shrinker before, and if it is a flashback, then she should have said "when you took me to meet...", but it seems like it wasn't a flashback.

Also, even if they're going to the private school, do they have to leave the current one immediately? Seems a bit rushed.

Overall, though, the story was wonderful and fleshed out more of the world. I like how each chapter includes more and more world details.

So, please keep writing.

5 stars. Crack on as I just can’t wait.

Thank you.

getting better all the time...