All Comments on 'The Wedding'

VERY GOOD. WAIT FOR ANOTHER PART

Is there any chance I can borrow your sister i dont have one of my own

I felt that the ending was rushed, and for future stories make sure you don't say that the girl wanked herself. Use fingered or even jilled. Hope to see more to cum!

not good not bad just a little unrealistic if they didn't get along why would he even try to sleep in the same bed he would have slept on the couch or floor keep it atleast sounding realistic and believable

Is usless no detail

would i like to share a hotel room with my younger brother? i do!

...you could embellish with tension building and a description of their passion. Well edited and gramatically good Just give more in part two. Please?

no background to tell if this was the first time between tem or not. way to rushed this should have been chapter two of three and needed to be two or three times longer. delete and rewrite adding the missing begining and a lot more detail. before posting you should have READ a lot more GOOD stories to get a better idea of how to properly write an erotic story, although there really aren't that many real good stories here anymore.

hotels ALWAYS have rollaway beds available for when couples arrive with a child so they could have easily had seperate beds. the rest of the story needs major work also, there was no background or character development and no end we just get left hanging again.

Great work. Screw what anonymous said. It takes guts to write and publish in the first place. I enjoyed it and hope to read more from you.

This fails even as a quick stroke story. It's way too short and lacking any detail, plus, the progression to sex has zero credibility. Considering where they ended, it makes little sense that they didn't get to it all a lot sooner. You can't have it both ways. If she is a reluctant prude, then there's no way she converts in two and a half nights to screwing her brother after flashing old gramps out of the blue on a public balcony. If she's the sort to go for the taboo action, then wasting three quarters of the narrative on a few sly wank sessions was completely stupid before rushing to the conclusion. Even a cobbled together porn plot is better than this.

Now I wish! Very well written. Need to know if more folllows.

More clinical and very few description and feeling. Might need to dig deeper and have added description to looks, thoughts, etc.

is a Huge turn off for me. Yuk!

Nussimme hääyönä kiimassa siskon kanssa hotellissa Thaimaassa.

Pillu maistui hyvältä ja riettaalta.

This story is too short, and it could have been a great story had there been more details and lead ups to actual sex.

Your stories are told much better these days. Always add an abundance of thick sexy pussy hair to play with in your stories.