All Comments on 'The Weekend Pt. 01'

All is forgiven, no strings attached : if you work a 3 some into mix. Full marks awarded as a sign of my good faith. *****

When the cheating wife insists that she hasn't been with another man in one of these stories, you can almost see the bi bus coming down the road. Especially when it gets hit this hard, "you are the only man in my life, there will never be another man." Hangs a pretty big lantern on it.

but your editing is not up to your usual quality. Had to go over some places twice to make sure I was reading it right.

....and somewhat obvious.

I get that you weren't' going for subtlety here, but you could have been a little more circumspect and hence less obvious and "bludgeonous"......;-P

It would have been a little bit more of a surprise (well, not quite surprise, since we knew it was coming from the day he offered the locket) than it was, if she had hinted at something coming and working up to it, or of she had left a note with the locket explaining she was calling it in.

In any event, I'm looking forward to the rest...I do hope you were more careful with your editing in the inbound two installments than this one.

Thank you.

There are a lot of repeated words and incorrect words. Perhaps you've been away from English speaking people for some time?

This should be in Romance. Your writing style is much better suited to that genre.

Since the beginning, he was the only one to not see or understand what she was...he didn't understand what his sister-in-law told him...he didn't understand her nights alone with her friends...he didn't understand why one of her friends hated him...he didn't understand why she said she wasn't going to fuck any man...But as some people say: Love is blind...Let's see what happens in the future of these two...I also read Tx Tall Tales story and I also thought it was very good but had some issues left open...So 3* for now, I'll rate it as a whole in the end...

I'll be very disappointed if the husband doesn't require the wife to spread the betrayal around before having any further discussions, by selling her story and relevant evidence to every gossip tabloid around. To *not* go that way would take the story into the realm of science fiction and fantasy.

... but very predictable.

You think this is where your story begins. Actually this is where your story ends. Everything from this point is just the stuffing packed around a very sad and embarrassing character, a loser, and his obviously sad story, about being a loser. Real men don't have to chase, or beguile, or persuade the women who love them. Real men are too smart to waste their time on the women who don't. If this character thinks there is anything in that pack of beer or bottle of vodka that is of any solace or help, then he is too juvenile and stupid to interest a real woman. Real woman don't want to be won, or kept. Real woman want to be respected, and loved, and challenged.

Reading stories about children trying to act like adults is always tedious, boring, and predictable. Good luck with it.

More so than many wife hating tales. This story is well written witb a romantic and sexually charged relationship between husband and wife making this category perfect. The conflict also adds to the evidence of that Loving Wives is the perfect placement for your story. No romance has such a spiteful twist.

Many may not see a lesbian relationships as cheating. Many might think that because her sexual experience lacked a penis, the wife had been totally honest. When she failed to disclose that side of her history she lied by omission. Strong marriages have no secretes and this is one huge secret.

I would hope the husband questions whether he ever knew his wife. She built her marriage on a foundation of lies and he made a huge mistake of offering something he could never live with as a compromise. Judging by his reaction to her request this husband will always be torn by his wife's infidelity...whether woman or man...rubbing uglies is always sexual. If he allows a lesbian fling he will be haunted because he will know without a doubt that his wife has needs that he physically can't compete with.

A great story that has me looking forward to the next chapter.

There are just too many mistakes and sentences that make no sense or mean nothing. Missing punctuation, wrong words, sorry, you need another editor. "I kissed her on her forehead to the world and left her asleep." What does that mean, "forehead to the world?" "Several emotions flitted across Gillian's face: fear, terror, and underlying it all love." The semicolon is wrong. Semicolons are only between independent clauses. Just dozens of things like that. They detract from readability.

Not bad but a little close to another story so far (That Damned Valentine Card i think). Hope the other parts change it up more.

Qoute:

Several emotions flitted across Gillian's face: fear, terror, and underlying it all love." The semicolon is wrong. Semicolons are only between independent clauses. Just dozens of things like that. They detract from readability.

-----

Theres no semicolon in your correction of grammar, the original is correct. Its a colon, and it correctly introduced a list.

Your grade: D-

;;;;;;

2**

Feel free to email me the rest !!! Cant wait.

PM me if you want.

But why did it take you 4 pages to get where you said the story stared from tx 's story.I hope the next ch. gives us something new not the same as he's story .Like you I always thought his story needed more balls .The girl has never been honest in this relationship she has lied and told half truths just like in Tex's story .I hope you react to the half truths better then tx did his man caved in and got a car for his whores pussy . His locket was based on a lie and half truth it's null and unusable for her. What no one has said is she was cheating on him two years they where in collage. He was to dumd to see it .If she lied about this what else has she lied about .when she travels does she eat pussy every night with her lover movie star has she been cheating this whole marriage she a lair who only tells what she needs to say to keep the cover story about her true lover is.

Nothing that was said to him would ever raise alarms. Love is blind. If you don't know that then you have never truly been in love. Love is trust. If you don't trust and read every little comment as bad then you don't love. We, as readers, see it because we are not the one in love and we expect it because we have an anticipation based upon the type of story we are reading.

Why is their life based on a lie. She loves him and he completed her. Lots and lots of couples have things in their past that they don't ever discuss with each other and have no impact on their life. I suspect that she had absolutely no intent of any of this coming back into their life until one day Gillian showed up to claim a long forgotten promise. Promises obviously mean something to her and since she had the free pass she thought she could live up to her promise and still not damage her marriage. So she is stupid sometimes. That is life and love. She understands her mistake before it is fatal... Thank god for his extreme reaction... And can correct it before it is too late.

Life and relationships are not perfect. Too ,any commenters have, in their own minds, an unrealistic expectation. This jades their ability to see life as it really is. We must have the ability to forgive and forget and adjust to some extent or we will never truly be happy in love.

My 4 cents into all of this and I give the story a 5 for the emotion that it evokes.

The only change from Tx's story is that the woman is a celebrity.

"Many moons ago, well almost ten years to be precise. I did, what I now realise was a very foolish thing."

I'm not great at punctuation, but even I can see that there's at least 3 mistakes in that opening sentence (or two sentences, the way it's written). I've no idea what the rest of the story's like, because I lost interest at that point, and didn't read it

to base a marriage on a free pass... waiting other parts...

"... the 'Iron Lady' (a homage to Margaret Thatcher, a no nonsense Prime Minister from the 1980's). "

When Margaret Thatcher finally died, the most requested song on call in radio stations in the UK was a song from "The Wizard of Oz", "Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead."

I digress. An interesting story with an unusual plot line.

Mucking about with a Cornish woman - you set yourself up sport. And who didn't see the carpet-munching twist coming down the tracks? Always went back to the flat she shared with roomies? She did everything but come back to him with her face looking like a glazed donut. But, please continue, I'm quite intrigued with our hero's dilemma.

Looking forward to the rest of the story. The characters are well formed and the script is very believable.

5*

Wifey's character plays with the fire of lies and inappropriately ranked loyalty going back to dating. Perhaps Hu by ought to confess his surveillance from dating days.

I have a difficult time reading these "we need to talk" stories. Invariably someone ends up with their heart broken. Hard to read

It was oblivious in the beginning her going to her flat to be with her female friends she had lesbian partner. But now after 10 years of being totally in love with Neil is she using her get out of jail pass. What gives here. It doesn't compute. At 31 she is still waiting for babies? Strange. Both are successful both are in love, why this new direction.

All the professions of how lucky he is to have her, how he doesn't deserve her, how he gave her a free pass in order to keep her, reveals a weak timid character who is just lucky in love, but not really deserving. It makes for a wimpy disgusting character for whom we have no sympathy. If he really lovers her, and really thinks he is not good enough for her, then why would he saddle the woman he loves with such a loser? He can't have it both ways.

And if the husband is so blind and undiscerning that he could not pick up on his girl friends lesbian tendencies then he deserves to be blind sided. I mean, she and her fellow taco eaters must have been laughing behind this rubes back, eating at the Y while this guy is home choking his chicken, waiting for her to cum back. Shallow clueless relationships lead to shallow clueless marriages, which way too often end in divorce.

I think the free pass is a foolish concept and a lame plot device. I will withhold rating your story until I see the complete story. I am hoping you turn this around into something more believable, and original.

Far from being 'weak' the husband strikes me as being demanding and inflexible in his thinking.

The hysterics, the all-or-none judgements. In short, a blueprint for how people create their own problems. In one way or another, both of them are out of touch with reality, out of touch with their presumed ability to communicate.

I can't tell whether this was the author's intention to portray this, or whether the story represents his vision of a particular moral universe.

Either way, these characters have dug their own hole. The question is whether they'll climb out of it into reality or just back out into their rigid idealized fantasy world.

Please write another chapter, but do it as soon as possible and as sweet as the first one.

Just some advice, try an extra proofread before posting. For the most part this was very well written. 4 stars for that. Lately even good story posts are ruined by lousy writing or proofreading.

Will follow to see where this goes, but have never understood a husband giving a wife or fiancée a "Free pass". When you're through, maybe your next story will be about a husband receiving a free pass. Not sure if I've seen one about that. Might have to take a female writer to understand the emotions well enough to pen. But worth a try for anyone.

Does anyone know of a story about a husband receiving a "Free Pass" etc?

Good luck!! Sorry to read your update about your mom.

But I'm confused, when he asked her to marry him, why did she say "We need to talk"? Talk about what? And why did he immediately get hammered? Why did he go straight to alcohol instead of talking to her? Then all he did was feel sorry for himself, seriously, why would she want to marry a guy like that? At the first sign of trouble, he gets drunk?

Then, not having talked, why did she say that she wanted to marry him? It made no sense.

Then there's the free pass, he immediately goes to the bar and ignores her calls and texts. Seriously, your "hero" is a scared little boy who runs from trouble instead of confronting it. No wonder she wants to have an affair, she's neverbenn with a man, just a little boy who's an adult.

1 star

Five stars for a good read. Five stars for some great observations ... ROGL due to ANON's '...face looking like a glazed doughnut!' lezzie observation.

Does a good read have to involve a perfectly balanced individual being perfectly rational? So much for Moby Dick ... or the Bible! Can Partner in a good marriage have kept a secret that Spousy would prefer to know (and Partner knows THAT?) Find ONE marriage where EACH Partner has not done exactly that!

Summary ... a good read with substantial potential. I SHOULD have held my rating finger at bay until (at least) the next episode but it is a good (and honestly reported) start!

My main problem was that Neil was supposed to be a smart guy and turned out to be a real dummy. It seems obvious that Karen was a lesbian or at the very least bi-sexual. A blind man would have realized that. And for a smart guy his decision to give her a "get out of jail free" card seemed like an odd decision. If he needs to bribe her to marry him, why bother? That seemed inconsistent with the character you gave him. Overall the technical writing was not bad, but there were several parts that could have used some good editing. It seemed that in your desire to "build the characters" you got lost in the words. I'll wait for the final chapter to rate this, but if it turns out she has been cheating on him for their entire marriage (which seems likely) the final score will not be good.

If what I think is going to happen happens, she would be toast. One of her friends tried to tell him but got sidelined.

The man let love and a hard prick take over his brain. I should know this but the author lied, Chapter Two isn't posted. So we wait.

While being courted she kept her flat in my opinion to lick the split and not get caught.

Just for the big lie she would be toast. But husband is a fool.

MCPO Jim

Note: I am registered but can't remember my password. Happens when you get old.

please

I was travelling and lost my internet, the last two chapters were submitted on Saturday. Hopefully they will be up very soon.

Andyhm

You see it coming and it isn't pretty, but you can't stop watching. You are an excellent writer and I'm sure many rate you higher than I; but I can't abide such stupidity. I don't find it entertaining and this "shocking" revelation was no surprise. Furthermore, the "forsake all others" in their wedding vows was not gender specific. There is no "out" for Karen. She is cheating. The locket was perhaps the most stupid gesture I could imagine. There is no way it could ever be used, and the marriage remain the same.

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but so many different directions this can go.

I'm curious, so I will stay and play.

I do get tired of complaints by anonymous posters who don't recognize the difference between English and American English.

Very interesting, will be intrigued to see how this develops.

I have a fear that the marriage will be opened up and that the husband will basically let himself be cuckolded with little protest by selling out the integrity of the marriage to watch his wife with another woman (more than once). That would be a disappointing parody of Literotica, not a realistic story in the real world.

We will wait and see......

The author gave enough clues for many of us to predict where we are now. Where are we headed in the next few chapters? Personally, I'd prefer Gillian moving in with them - after they bought a larger bed.

Characters are great and the quandary plausible,

Really enjoying this one. Five stars. A few grammatical flaws, but noting that detracts from the flow. Overall, well written. I guessed the lesbian angle early on. Regarding the free pass as a device to get her to marry him . . . You had him expressing the brilliant insight that she didn't want to cheat, but was simply afraid she might slip up. In that sense, his offer makes perfect sense. He was not giving her a free planned pass, just a free pass in case she messed up. So i understand his shock and anger - she appears to be planning to cheat, something she vowed (upon being given the locket) that she would never do. Of course, you wisely nuanced her words to be ambiguous about whether she was actually planning to cheat or simply afraid that she might if she kept her promise.

A unique story for Loving Wives. I think you handle the dialog and emotions well. The story holds together well. 5 stars.

This is a fine story and i can't wait to continue it after Christmas.

the only problem on LIT is a stupid troll named bonnietaylor2 alias vastiesmith2. I'm reporting every flaming comment you post on this site. If other people are as tired as I am by this moron's trolling, please take ten seconds of your time and do the same.

@troll

who the fuck gives you the right to bash people for their ratings? You don't even READ the fucking stories!!! Your only purpose here is to flame!!!

what is this anon bullshit? the fact that you log in with a bogus name gives you more rights than other people? that only proves that you wasted one minute to create a disposable mail account. maybe in your STUPIDITY you don't realize that EVERY fucking comment on the net is anonymous, unless you start posting a copy of your fucking ID.

everyone has their own opinions and rates the stories accordingly. read the fucking stories and do the same for a change. if that's too difficult for you, go fuck yourself, but do it somewhere else.

Too similar to " That Dammed Valentine Day's Card ". I feel you've just taken that plot & added your own characters & unfortunately this story is not as well written - too many cliches. 2 **

You need to get a proof reader, or in the absence of one, you need to reread the story. If you choose to edit it, pay attention to the tenses, and the spelling of words. Other than that it is a great story.

A good start with an intriguing premise. Five out of five.

I am interested to see where this goes.

Both characters seem well drawn and believable. Good emotions. Nobody too over the top. People's reactions seem plausible.

If I had to make a constructive criticism I would say add a few smells and sounds in Thailand - gives a story a little more richness.

Steve

Andy, another five stars as you continue to do great work. In fact you've become my favorite writer here in this genre.

Can't wait to read the continuation of the story.

All the best, lucky MM

When you said you were inspired by the Valentine story I didn’t think you’d actually write it. I liked his plot of comforting the soldier better. Five for the writing. Nothing for originality.

would any person not walk away ? Seriously.

I understand love at first sight, married my (late) first wife at 18, as circumstances would have taken us in different directions otherwise. But had she not said "yes," it would have been "I understand, I wish you the best, and goodbye"

Infatuation is not love, it's just stupid dependency.

Neil is a clueless fool. Karen is a manipulating liar who literally wants her cake and eat her too. Why would anyone but a fool want to marry her. She was clearly having little girl orgies back in her place and clearly told him not to disturb her hello if that is not a screaming red flag I don't know what is. Look she could screw another guy or girl right in front of him and then tell him she didn't do what he saw and he would be like oh okay I love you. What a loser. You should have just titled it he who is a fool shall suffer forever.

In Montana - USA - one time means one act of sex. Not one date with multiple coupling. Certainly one time does not equate to one weekend.

One time means lover gets one orgasm - had to make that act non-gender specific given your storyline.

Might interest you that javmor79 has story - 3 chapters out - of same title. Husband has one time - Montana definition - wife goes completely incommunicado for entire weekend of numerous romps with narcissistic serial predator of other men's wives.

You are far and away the better writer.

Leave now. Or while she's away.

My tack is different from the commenters I read.

First, I did not react so extreme to her "we need to talk" response to his marriage. proposal. Why not talk?

Mainly, he severly broke a promise. All thought out and engraved in gold for perpetuity. She eventuality brings it up and he immediately breaks the promise by questioning -- which he had specifically promised NOT to do. You are stupid to make a promise you can't (or won't) keep. If you make a promise and don't keep it, do not expect respect from me. Especially when you go to such elaborate lenghs to guild it, inscribed permanently.

His stunned reaction. His questioning barrage. Showing of discombobulation. Running off. NO. None of it should have happened. He could be a twisted, writhing mess in his head, but outwardly he should have placidly cashed the check he wrote her. That's what's meant by the promise of "no recriminations."

Her being a mental mess of worry and fear is HIS fault. It's all because he did NOT KEEP HIS PROMISE when she asked for what he offered.

Well, that's my big hang-up with this story.

Paul in Oklahoma

Too much jumping around, keeping things secret, mysterious.

through page 1...run away. She was a round heeled slut from the first date and now she's not sure she wants to marry you or if she will regret not being a more experienced slut before she married. Run not walk away from this disaster.

The correct answers to "will you marry me ?" include:

a. Yes

b. No

c. After I/you/we graduate.

Anything else IS a "no" hiding behind a skirt.

Not to mention she is lying by omission when she says she'll never leave him for another man. Which is more cowardly than a bald-faced lie, when she means she'll cheat with another woman.

Yeah, he gave her a "free pass". Did that mean a weekend? If it's open-ended, then why not a month? A decade? A free pass to me would mean a night or something, but she wants to use it for a weekend. Guess he should have gotten the lawyers involved and better defined it, huh?

I can forgive his response because he wasn't expecting it and she shocked him with her nonchalant manner in bracing him with it. So I guess he's ready to give it to her now, but will she use it after seeing how it impacted him? Anyone can promise something like this, not really expecting it to ever be used, and she has the right to go for it - but she should weigh the reward against the cost. One cannot always control one's emotions and responses - this can easily wreck their marriage - whether he wants to do the right thing or not.

The story is well written, but I don't like part 3. I won't ruin it for anyone, but it gets too weird for me. This guy seriously needs to grow a pair - and he should have let her be when originally asking her to marry. Let her decide on her own, but he had to be clever and offer the stupid free pass. Now the chickens have come home to roost. Deal with it, girly-man.

This isn't a criticism. I enjoyed the story and gave it 5 stars. I'm just a bit confused on one point.

His quandary is that he made a promise to her when he gave her that free pass and he feels obligated to respect that promise and abide by it.

However, almost immediately upon receiving the offer and jewelry, she said: "I'm never going to use it, but I understand love."

So, he keeps his word, she doesn't keep hers and yet there's no mention of this by either party.

She's a quick and easy fuck. Check.

anyone with a brain can see she's still fucking other women.

Lack of previous partners? That's funny.

Slip out the back, Jack. Just get yourself free.

She already said yes dumbass. Why are you still talking? Put away the get out of jail free card! Worst negotiator ever. He deserves to be a cuckold. He's too stupid to reproduce.

Difficult to care about these characters, but so well written that I will go into part two.

The other day someone posted a free pass story in LW and in the AN commented that this story was one of the inspirations. I decided to reread it cause I remember loving it the first time.

On the reread (and knowing what comes ahead) I really dislike Karen. For all her talk about truth she wasn’t with honest with him about why she feared marriage and considering she claims to love him cause they can talk about everything...I thought that was pretty shitty. And the reasons she actually gave are, in my opinion, pathetic. Dealing with temptation is part of marriage. Taking her at her word, and ignoring the whole lesbian thing we learn about later, people who get married aren’t dead and have functioning eyes. If you think that you can’t keep your legs closed and curiosity would get the better of you, then no, you aren’t mature enough to get married and a free pass isn’t the answer.

when the questioning starts, you lost me, sorry mate but the story has to have a continence but was lost on page 2 for me. lack or reason or validity it all turned to shit for me.all the best

You tell a great yarn sir. 5*!

Hooked

This is quite maudelin - very off-putting.

I can't stand a selfish, childish man who makes hollow promises, refuses to honor them, and reacts petulantly; a cry-baby! Leaves me disgusted and disdainful.

Shut up, suck it up - stand by your word, accept the responsibility and the consequences like a man.

Interesting story but ridiculous premise. No sane man would offer that free pass.

Disgusting that this whore would stomp all over the live and devotion her husband shows her by going to break her marriage vows .

Hope the slut gets aids and dies.

She's the worst kind of person

He cried and got drunk when she refused to accept his marriage proposal. He should have offed himself at that point and saved us from this drivel.

He had to keep his promise to give his wife a hall pass, give me a break, how bloody ridiculous. Tell me anyone on god green earth other than someone who is into swingingwould honour that promise? Human nature doesn’t work that way, it’s not the way we are wired. But I still gave it 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Anonymous "2nd time through..." very intelligently describes my thoughts exactly.

The thing that gets me is that he gave his word that she could have a free pass and she gave hers not to use it. It’s weird that he seems to have forgotten that part.

Ah, the game is afoot!

You have, with your usual mastery of your art, already got me hooked. I had some question when you mentioned her almost overly protective flat mates about her possible bisexuality, but you managed to add a surprise with the celebrity. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Good read although the very premise of these types of storylines are ridiculous. Don't know anyone that would give their betrothed a universal free pass with no reprisals. All relationships are ever changing. To expect to use the free pass after 10 years without it harming the relationship is a nieve belief. Having said that, not very realistic.

Very well-written, but the premise of a "free pass" would be a non-starter for most men. First, it would be really stupid to model one's behavior on that of a Literotica character, which is essentially what Neil acknowledges he has done when he gives Karen the Free Pass in Thailand.

Second, her hesitancy and concern that she might want to cheat when he proposes to her should have been enough for Neil to have taken a lengthy step back from her when she rejected his marriage proposal. A woman who is thinking that she might want to cheat and therefore isn't ready for marriage is a woman who is at serious risk of cheating. She really wasn't ready for marriage at that point.

Third, the Free Pass was a grievous error on his part and he realizes it. Ten years later when she pulls out her Free Pass, he had every right to be furious and he had every right to say that he changed his mind and that if she exercised the Free Pass, he would divorce her. They do not have any children (odd after ten years that the Iron Lady hasn't had kids with her allegedly much beloved husband). He should think of the nightmare of her infidelity once they had children. It is a seriously warped sense of integrity that he would compound a stupid mistake by thinking that ten years later, he had to honor his promise. That is really some stupid shit thinking.

Finally, in what world would a woman cheat one time and forever after be faithful? That is magical thinking. If she feels compelled to cheat once and it turns out to be good and exciting, she will not stop at one and done, her cheating will continue. Now we have a Butch movie star on the scene and he realizes that his dear wife is bi-sexual. It might have been nice for her to have dropped that little tidbit before she got married. In the real world, where this whole silly chain of events would never have happened (a Lesbo movie star, really???), a normal husband would accept her statement that she did not want a Free Pass, get an autograph from "Gillian" and kick her ass out of the house. If Karen later resents that, tough shit.

All that said, this still is really well-written in sense of good descriptions, dialogue, grammar, spelling, syntax, etc etc. But the story sucks so, sorry but 3 stars only for the superlative writing. Otherwise it would be 2 ** at most.

When she kept going back to her flat with the girls and not wanting to be bothered made me suspect this was a clamsnapper caper...

I think we knew where this was going, but I'm intrigued as to why there are two more chapters. You have MY interest!

Same here. Well written and intriguing.

What a dickhead he is. She, she is an absolute bitch to pull this shit on a truly dated promise. Why would you risk your marriage on an old, old promise. A cunt act.

Intriguing premise though.

At this stage 4/5

No woman is worth this.

He made a deal with the devil 10 years ago, nobody ever wants to pay up. Truthfully I wouldn't mind very much that she wanted to be with another woman. A man would be terrible.

He might as well leave and get a divorce now. He has lost his wife to her lesbian lover. 10 stars for great drama so far. Heart break for sure. Buster2U

The premise of these stories is profoundly flawed. To make the hall pass trope credible the husband needs to be written as having swinger or cuck tendencies. NO REMOTELY NORMAL MAN WOULD TRY TO GET A WOMAN TO MARRY him by giving her permission to fuck around later. Of course, most authors and readers here are out of touch with "normal", and so men are generally stupidly written.

Excellent writing. fiver!

Jesus, this guy writes world class drivel, how anyone can give this a five is beyond me. Don't think I'll be bothering with the rest of it.

What does one call a man who makes promises that he doesn’t want to fulfill in order to get a woman to do what he wants her to do. Answer is, typical.